No paternity established, where to start

It's supposed to be easier if paternity has not been established. I suggest you get the book "How to Adopt your Stepchild in California" by Frank Zagoni. I know that you have to be married for One full year before an adoption can take place. Also I know there has to be one year of no contact or one year of no support. Now if he is in a rehab and has no way to pay support because of it then it is not at will that he does not pay support. So you cannot use that as a reason for the adoption. And if he is contacting you then you cannot use the no contact either. You really should get the book and see if there is another recourse you can take. Since his name is not on the Birth certificate it may be alot easier than it was for me.

Well, we have found out that, in order to terminate his rights, so my husband can adopt her at that one year mark, his rights need to first be established. So I am opening a case with child support services so he can stipulate paternity, since I know he can't pay for a test. I appreciate your help and reading some of the other posts have helped me find legal cause to terminate his rights once established. Thank you!

I would step back and think about what you do before you do it. No paternity does not have to be established for the adoption to go through, yes it does have to be established to terminate parental rights but since there is not father on the birth certficate or no paternity established by a court it is an alledged father and adoption can go a lot smoother. You can claim to not know who the father is. THe thing is, he can request the paternity to establish it, if he really wants to take care of this child. If he does then why follow through with an adoption. I do not know any more about your case then what you have written here, so I can not tell you how to proceed or what to do. The point I am getting at is you do not have to terminate parental rights if they were not established, however as soon as you do establish those parental rights then you do have to go through getting them terminated. I can tell you truthfully that if the baby is only 7 months old, there is no way that he has abandoned the child yet. You have to have 1 year of no support or contact. The courts will see that he is in a program and can not pay child support and so that will not work for you, Then if he is calling you now , he will keep calling you. YOu can not claim lack of contact. You can not change your number or address and not notify him and think that it constitutes lack of contact. MY best suggestion to you is , Have patients, wait it out and see what he does. I believe with your child you can actually go back and put someone else on the birth certificate, It is up to bio dad to fight it with paternity tests and court orders. Stop and think though before you pursue that paternity test.

Well the part we're having trouble with is his indecisiveness...he left us, then wants in, then wants out. Has no contact with us untill he is pushed by a family member of his, and now wants to be apart of this joy ride. He's never atempted to help take care of her, just wants to play with her for 30 minutes a week and get the privlage of being called "Dad". while my husband has taken care of her in every way since day one. Now we want to move out of state with out getting in trouble for it down the road. We have another baby on the way and we don't want to raise our family here, but we are unclear yet as to what our options are.

Let me start by saying you can not get into any trouble by moving out of state, unless he has gone through the court system to get visitation rights. To me it sounds like he has not. If he has then paternity has already been established. Getting a paternity test and establishing paternity is only going to make things more difficult on you. My husband was arround for 4 years before we went through with the adoption. Though you are right to get an early start on it, things would not make a major differance until your child is a little bit older. I would move out of state. You being the custodial parent it is in your jurisdiction. If a family law case has not been established then you are free to come and go as you please and if he wants to take you to court to see her it will be where ever you are. I know it sounds harsh and all but really you do not have a leg to stand on, YET. If you are far enough away from him he may choose not to contact you any further. Basically I understand everything. MY BF is a long time drug addict and will probably die one, But we could not have filed for the adoption any sooner nor would it have gone through. Basically you are going to have to wait it out. Law says one year of either no contact or support. With the child only being 7 months obviously you can not claim eitherr first of all, secondly you can not claim no contact because you said he sees her for 30 min every once in awhile. Also they can not take support while they are incarcerated or in programs. So even if you did go through child support , they more than likely will not make an order until he is released from his program. I went through that for 4 years, either he was incarcerated or in programs and owes back child support for when he was not. He never once offered me a dime. That is another reason why it is better not to go through child support. With no support, there need not be an order, you can claim he never offered anything to you and still the law of no support applies. However the child support services in away makes him aware of paying for the child. So my questions to you are: Do you have an opened family law case? Has paternity really been established? Does Bio dad have a history of violence? What exrtensive bio dads criminal background? Answering these questions enable me to help you more. Also realize that if your husband wants to adopt her it will take a little longer, however there is a way you can set it up now in order to see if the BF is selfish and only cares about himself or genuinely wants a relationship with his daughter. I also want you to know that there are plenty of families out there that have 2 dads and there is nothing wrong with that because in the end the one who tucked her into bed every night and was there in the middle of the night to scare off bad monsters is the real dad. Not the one that only chose to see her once a month or week

No cases have been open. I recieved child support papers, but was advised not to file them. No paternity has been established. He has something along the lines of assalt with a deadly weapond with intent to cause bodily injury. And a dozen probation violations. After he left us my parents looked up his crimal records, and keep a copy on hand.

AJB's Mom While I can understand you have been through a similar senario with your child, I wonder how the child, as an adult, will react knowing she was denied access to her birthfather because her parents twisted the law to suit their wish to move interstate. Before anyone attempts to deny paternity or resort to subtefuge, I suggest you look further into the future to ensure that it is in the child's interests that her biological father is not in the equation. If he needs to be in rehab, I accept that there is a problem - but 20 years from now, he could possibly be clean, and an upstanding citizen. Lies or twisted truths always come back to "bite you on the bum". Oh....one more thing....according to the universal law of human ethics, the birthmother knows who the real father is.....together they created this child. There is a stepfather who parented, but only one father who participated in the creation of her life. If he want's weekly access, how can the birthmother deny there is any contact? Ann :flower:

Kune, I am very upset with your coment. Obviously you have not read any of my threads nor know my story. MY BF was in rehab for 4 years and though some people do not want to admit it some fathers or mothers do produce a child and want nothing to do with that child. Our process was completely legal and we had every right for the adoption. In 5 years if my daughter wants to see her BF again we will not stop that decision. You can not sit back and say that we ruined my daughters life by going through with the adoption. We saved my daughters life from all the heartache. NOw as far as the whole birth certificate thing goes, I should not have written it. I understand now that you can not just do that. I had a friend do that and I thought it was ok. I am sure people do it all the time in the hospital as well. We did it to protect my daughter from her BF not to deny access. He denied himself access for 4 years.I do not regret letting my husband adopt my daughter to give her a better life then her BF could give her at this point. If he does clean up and become an upstanding citizen then a relationship may rekindle and we would not deny that.

I was replying and my computer shut down. But now looking back the expert mistake maker said what I was going to say. You can move out of state. make sure though to leave at least a fowarding address. Like I said there are ways to set up the whole situation for the adoption to go through in the future if the BF is really one deserving of getting the child taken away from him. Only time will tell. bUt with no court orders to keep you here you can move where ever you want. Moving farther away and requesting supervised visits if you do go to court will prove whether there is a genuine love for the child or whether you need to question his motives.