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Does anyone have a special needs child and then brought in a foster placement, if so, how long and hard was the adjustment to having a sibling?
My 9 yr old daughter (adopted last year) was eager and willing to 'get a little sister', but now that we finally have a placement she is swinging back and forth from being very maternal and sweet to the 4 yr old, to being rude and cruel (like telling the 4 yr old that she stole me and wrecked our home and she should go back).
There were a few minutes today that I thought I should call DHS and tell them I can't provide a loving home for the little one due to the nasty comments the 9 yr old was making, and the 4 yr old was being nasty right back. But then later the girls were getting along really well.
Also I have some questions. The 4 yr old is very skinny, all down her spine there are bumps sticking out which I guess are the vertebra. And also all her ribs show down both sides of her back. Should I assume the county knows that she is skinny, or should I mention it? I guess I should try to get her into the doctor's office fairly soon, because I don't know if she should have any sort of extra calorie food, or just a regular amount. She doesn't seem like a big eater, but she almost keeps up with the 9 yr old, so maybe that is a lot for a 4 yr old.
Also, how does one clean a potty chair, do I disinfect the bowl piece, if so what cleaner do I use and how often, every time it is used? Or do I just dump it and rinse and dump the rinse water also in the toilet?
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Not having a second placement, I can't tell you how long it might take for your dd to adjust to a new sibling, but I do know there will be some adjustment. DD is having to share you, her time, her things, etc. and that's a big adjustment for sure. I would make a point to spend some one on one time with her every day and hopefully this normal adjustment will happen sooner rather than later!
I would definitely have a doc evaluate the little girl. Just to be sure she isn't malnourished. Some kids are built naturally skinny, but to see the vertebrae seems too skinny to me. I would also document just so it's in the file if it ever comes up.
You might consider giving her a pediasure everyday for the vitamins and let her eat as much as she wants (unless she overeats in a sitting, of course)
I assume you have a standard plastic potty chair bowl? I always dumped the remains of the bowl into the toilet and then cleaned out with 409 or whatever spray I had once a day. If it was just pee, I just dumped and then rinsed with hot water. Then after the poo, I sprayed after rinsing.
Congrats!:)
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Thanks Crick. I called the doctors office yesterday and they recommended the Pediasure too, so I will go buy some of that today.
I am trying to reassure my 9 yr old that she is still special to me, and spending a few minutes with her alone. But it is hard and I feel like I need to spend some time alone with the 4 yr old but can't get the 9 yr old to ever leave us alone. Today I'm going to drop the little one off at the drop-off babysitting and spend some one on one time with the 9 yr old and then while the older one is at a playdate I'll finally get some one on one time with the little one.
I had envisioned that it would be possible to have special time with each one at the house, such as one playing with toys in the bedroom while I sat with the second one. But with both at home I can't get that to work.
I wonder if there are any children's books that are about getting a new sibling that isn't a baby?
It is hard to find time alone with the kids. Right now, your daughter is likely feeling threatened over her place etc. and will just need time and reassurance that she is still special. You will be able to find time with one while another is playing something else eventually! Just maybe not at first with all the adjustment going on for everyone.
One thing I do that helps with the one on one time is every night the kids take turns being my helper in the kitchen making dinner. Might take a few nights to implement the routine, but it might work for ya?
And another thing you might try too is I would assume that their bed times are different due to their ages? If not, that might be an opportunity too. Put the 4 year old to bed 1/2 hour prior and spend some time with her reading to her etc. and then you'll have 1/2 hour with your older dd before she goes to bed.
I don't know about the books...hmmm...hopefully someone will have an idea about that!:)