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Well hello. My name is Andrew and I'm 21 now. I joined here because I'd like some more information on becoming a foster parent. A few things about me:
~I will not even consider being a foster parent until I have a good career and am financially stable on my own and preferably not until I reach the age of 30. I know it seems like I'm planning too far ahead, and the foster adoption system may change by then but I'd like to get a head start if I can on what I need to know.
~I may be a single parent, though I don't know who I'll be dating in the future so maybe that will change. Also I'm gay, and don't plan on having any biological children.
Here are some things I'd like to know:
~How much does it cost to foster a child? I know there's no set cost, but an estimate.
~I hear there's a lot of tests you need to pass for them to consider you as a foster parent. What kinds of classes and tests?
~I also hear that they don't as often consider people who aren't biological parents, people who aren't married, people who aren't straight, etc to be foster parents. Will this affect me?
~Do you get a chance to meet the child before you begin fostering them? Also, do you get to choose the child you foster, or is it set up at random? The reason is because I'm sort of feminine and think I would be better at raising a girl.
I may think of more questions later. Sorry for not being very knowlegable. I hope I can find some answers.
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You will find that there are many single parents on these forums and that there are also lots of same sex couples as well. So that shouldn't be a problem for you.
If you are able to support yourself , have stable employment and have a safe living arrangement and pass the background clearances- child abuse clearance and state police background check and are willing to provide a loving home for a child then I would think agencies would love to have you. Many homes are open to only males or only females, so if you choose to parent only females that probably would not be an issue either. In fact I think that if you were willing to parent a teen who identifies as LGBT the agencies may jump at the chance to work with you since many people who foster are not open to what they consider an alternative lifestyle.
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Our Friends Adopted a Daughter from Foster Care as well as used a Surrogate, for their Son!!
As far as cost goes. With Fostering, you will receive Health Benefits, and a monthly stipend.
You do need multiple bedroom housing. Outside of the stipend.
I agree also with the previous post on a LGBT Teenage placement??
I adopted previously as a Single Mom without Biological Children.
My Husband and I have added more children.
Foster Kids are very traumatized.
It's not a happy experience, or it's extremely very rare that it is a happy experience.
The classes are basically how would you handle traumatized kids??
Your home is also evaluated in what is referred to as a Home Study!!
Do you also have any experience with kids in any capacity??
It depends alot on the Agency. Some Agencies have Matching Parties or Programs where you meet the child!!
Our Friends met their Daughter.
Actually their Daughter chose them as her Family at a Picnic!!
Some Agencies Social Workers bring the child to your home with just a telephone call!!
Have you started Researching Agencies??
Juli
Welcome to the boards. I think it is wonderful that you want to be a Foster Parent. I recently adopted my daughter as a Single Mom and I know that my agency has several single parents as well as same sexed couples - not an issue. I would suspect that in nine years or so, when you are ready, that agencies, and society in general, will be more tolerant and opened minded and will realize that sexuality/sexual preference has nothing to do with parenting.
The only cost that I really had was the final court cost, and that is reimbursable on taxes. Oh and I did have to pay for my fire inspection, it was not much though.
There are some classes that you have to take either through the county or an agency, but no real test. There is the homestudy when you and your home are evaluated to be suitable for having and raising children, but an agency can walk you through that. And of course pass a background test, they just do your finger prints and run you through the data bases to make sure that there are not any issues, especially with a violent background or crimes against children.
If you have a job with fairly good income, a home with more than one bedroom, and lots of love to give, you should not have a problem getting started.
Maybe by then you will meet someone and he will share your passion and desire for children.
I just want to caution you that being gay, as of right now, IS an obstacle to fostering in some states. Foster care is based on state law. I have gay friends in Nebraska and they are not eligible to foster or adopt. So don't assume that you will be able to foster if you inform the state you are gay (you can read between the lines on that I assume). HRC has good up to date information available as to which states have rules limiting gay people from fostering. There is no test and there is no cost except the normal cost of raising children. This cost is offset to some degree (in some places not much and in others almost in full) by the stipend paid to you by the state. Something to keep in mind over the next 10 years or so is that you will need to live a relatively clean life in terms of legality as will anyone you are living with at the time you are ready to start the process. This means it is a good idea to avoid alcohol or drug related charges, and charges involving kids, violence or fraud. You do not need to be perfect to foster. Just safe and willing to jump through some frustrating and sometimes intrusive hoops.
I just want to caution you that being gay, as of right now, IS an obstacle to fostering in some states. Foster care is based on state law. I have gay friends in Nebraska and they are not eligible to foster or adopt. So don't assume that you will be able to foster if you inform the state you are gay (you can read between the lines on that I assume). HRC has good up to date information available as to which states have rules limiting gay people from fostering.
There is no test and there is no cost except the normal cost of raising children. This cost is offset to some degree (in some places not much and in others almost in full) by the stipend paid to you by the state.
Something to keep in mind over the next 10 years or so is that you will need to live a relatively clean life in terms of legality as will anyone you are living with at the time you are ready to start the process. This means it is a good idea to avoid alcohol or drug related charges, and charges involving kids, violence or fraud. You do not need to be perfect to foster. Just safe and willing to jump through some frustrating and sometimes intrusive hoops.
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