14yr old boy troubles

I sent you a private message :) Just wanted to tell you in case you dont' get the message automatically

Have you got an uncle or grandparent that he might be able to talk to? We have two boys ages 16 (next month) and 11, I don't think this is normal behavior for a 14 year old boy. He may just be exploring but he may also be gay. I would approach him and let him know that you know he is visiting these sites and that you are there for him if he needs to talk. The last thing you want if for him to be afraid to come to you with questions and problems. If he is gay he needs to know that you are/are not willing to support that lifestyle. Good luck! Also, our boys are not allowed on the computer unless we are near by, our computer is in a central location in our house where it can be seen from several rooms. IMHO a child should never be allowed to have a computer behind closed doors. A real eye opener for our sons was the fact that our two year old daughter who we adopted was concieved out of a chat room relationship. Her bmother only met the guy once for two days and has never heard from him since. Sometimes kids just don't understand the threat that lies in a computer and are more open with information than they should be becasue the person on the screen doesn't seem "real". You should really consider limiting his time online and moving the computer to the kitchen or den.

Based on his question, I'd suspect he's doing research. A visit to a male doctor might help provided the doctor is advised ahead of time that the child lacks male roll models and has questions about his developing body. You could also find a good book that explains things and leave it for him. I talk very openly with my boys regarding sex and their bodies and they often ask me questions. If I don't know the answer, I try to find it somewhere. I'd also advise my child that should he continue such internet browsing of porn that his computer and online access will disappear quickly and follow through if necessary. I might also explain that those sights ofter portray false body images.

Thank you all very much for your input. I have talked to my son about it and the computer is being moved to the den, which is right next to the living room and in clear view. While thinking in bed I came to the conclusion that the question about size most likely came from the porn sites, where all of the men are...uncommonly large. He was glad I could tell him so honestly what looked like the answer through research and help from Singlemom619 (if you don't mind me saying your name aloud). He has been very confused for the last year, about his sexuality. I told him that together we would work through it and eventually he will be able to know if he is gay or not. Thanks again everybody.If there are any Dads here who have gone through this kind of confusion and can offer help I would be much obliged. -MomOfBoy

Not a problem to mention my name.I did want to point out on the boards about this being a "gay" thing or not. I actually teach - and I teach Family life AKA sex ed to my students at the end of the year (so I just did it for this year.)Looking at porn, looking at homosexual porn, thinking homosexual thoughts ect - is all VERY normal behavior and does not mean a child is gay. It's curiosity - wondering how their own body works, wondering if everyone else goes through the same things, wondering if they're going through it the same way, wondering how it will all end up working, ect. IT'S ALL NORMAL. YES some kids may be homosexual - BUT it's not abnormal to be curious and look at things or even touch. This is all straight from the curriculum that is taught and that has been researched from CDC and all those factual places.I also want to point out that out of my 31 student THREE talked to their parents about what they learned in class. Yes - only 3. I talked to them about why their parents didn't know - I got some kids that were embarassed to talk to their parents BUT I also got about TEN kids who said that they tried bringing it up and their parents didn't want to talk about it. I couldn't believe that the parents were too embarassed to talk to their kids and prepare them!These kids are becoming active younger than usual - they are NOT being safe about their decisions and they don't realize the risks they're taking (until a teacher tells them.) Parents need to have better lines of communication than what I've been seeing.(And for the record - my 8 year old knows what sex is and all the proper names of female and male body parts. As he gets older I'll make sure he knows everything that I teach my students - and probably more considering what he learned prior to being adopted)Please pardon my spelling - it's late and it's been a VERY long weekend.

I sent you a private message, about discussing this issue, if you would like.