Advertisements
I posted this question in the Birthparents in Open Adoption forum but only got 2 replys, which I am very greatful for. It's for those of you who have visits. My bdaughter is 17 mos. old and we (my mom and I) had a visit with her and her Aparents. She was pretty fussy and I had no idea how to comfort her. I thought that after I had her, my motherly instinct would kick in, but I'm afraid I just don't have it and possibly never will. Does anyone else feel this way? How do you deal?
Like
Share
I just came across this thread. While I'm not in an open adoption. (Mine was a closed one.) I am a grandmother of two about the age of your bdaughter. I don't think that your being unable to comfort her had anything to do with motherly instinct or lack of it. At that age children are beginning to realize that they are separate from the parents. Had her aparents left she may well have settled down. Children also sense anxiety in those around them and respond by being fussy. Especially when young children don't interact with you very often it will frequently take a period of time to "warm up" to you when you are there. Please don't let it keep you from visiting her even though it's hard. I think ultimately both of you will benefit.
Advertisements