A life changing phone call...

LisaWhat exciting news and very shocking to you I am sure. Try to think of it as "hello" and not another goodbye, maybe this will open up the door to you and your bsons family to continue to let you and your family be a part of their lives. My mom nevers says "goodbye" to me she always says "see you next time", just a thought, I know it will feel like you are saying goodbye again just try and remember that this opportunity is being given to you for a reason and hopefully the contact between you all can continue as it really is beneficial to your son.I wish you the best and feel free to PM me anytime!:grouphug:

Hi lisa, Having never been a mom or relinquished a child, I can only imagine how you might feel, but it seems like all of life comes back to the same emotions we all experience. I hope I don't get jumped on for this comparison, because I only have the best of intentions in my heart. Your situation reminds me of my first puppy. It was a Lhasa Apso from one of my folk's litters, and I selected him from birth. He was totally devoted to me and I adored him. 8-9 years passed with us moving together, going places, we went through a divorce together, etc, and he showed his love for me daily. The time came when I moved to another state for a job, and since I had no place to stay, my folks agreed to keep him for me. I'll forever regret that. Time passed, I moved into a women's dorm type of place that didn't allow pets. After over a year, maybe more, I've forgotten it was so long ago, my folks said they just couldn't keep him anymore. They had their two, hadn't bargained for 3, and could they give him to a family who also raised Lhasa's, a family they knew well. My heart was breaking, but I couldn't say no. 3, 4, 5 - not sure how many, years later when I was home visiting, the family graciously offered to let me reclaim him. I couldn't do that to them, maybe I should have. <shrugs> They said anytime I wanted to visit I was welcome, and if I changed my mind, I could have him back. So at their invitation, I did go see him just once, my own selfishness winning out over my concern about his joy at the reunion only to watch me leave again. He appeared to recognize me, but who knows, maybe it was just excitement at a new person to wiggle on. After about 15 mins I had to leave. I knew he had a good home, was loved, he slept with the boy, and heck - whaddya do? we couldn't have a chat to catch up on old times, and I couldn't stop the tears that had started before I even got there. I had to check one thing. I looked at his face and said "KoKo, wannagotoo??" like I always had. He blinked and ran to the door, standing on his hind legs and looking back at me, making me feel like I could walk under a worm with head room to spare. Doing my best not to make it worse, I walked to the door, thanked the woman, gave him a last pet and a 'bye', and left. While there, I had tried not to be overly enthusiastic or coo and hug him - tried not to bring back his memory of me. But I screwed up in the end, my ego just had to give him that test, and that, if nothing else, made it known to him who I was. That was over 20 years ago, and if I can sit here in tears now, then I have a tiny glimpse into what you birth moms go through. I encourage you to see your boy. You have a future ahead of you and I think it would be good for both of you. I'd only give one caution which you can take or leave - do your best not to tug on his heart. Save it for when you don't have to say goodby. I sincerely hope this wasn't inappropriate. I have a habit of relating things to my own experiences in order to better understand. Warmly, heartbeat

Lisa, I agree with the others, if you can, I think it would be great to see him! Also, think about your daughter, his sister...they will always be siblings and maybe that is the reason for this offer. That is a bond that they will share forever. The other thing is, maybe this will open the door to more frequent visits and maybe this one *really hard* visit will just be the start of a lot of *great* visits down the road! I'm an Amom and would love to see my son's birthparents more frequently (distance makes it hard) but I would also totally understand if it was too hard for them to see us.. Take care! Michelle

Lisa24,Thanks for posting this question...from a bmom point of view. I'm an amom and currently wondering what may be going through our daughter's bmom's mind. It is getting close to our daughter's birthday. For the longest time we have talked about getting together near that time. Now amom has lost her phone and I have no way other than a letter to get in touch w/ her. I've asked her to call the agency and let them know what her new number is, but so far nothing. True, she may not have a new phone yet, but I can't help but wonder if it may be too painful for her. As an amom I kept looking at our meeting as a good thing until I started reading here. I was so excited to expand upon what little relationship we have built over this 1st year. Now, I'm left to wonder if she just has no phone or if she is hesitant to see this incredible child that she gave birth to because again she will have to say goodbye. Please check back in and let us know what happens w/ your visit!

Lisa, you haven't posted recently. How are you doing now?