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I am a bmother of a 25 year old daughter. I am interested in hearing what adoptees or even other bmoms think about adoptees asking for substantial financial help from there birth parents fairly early on in the reunion stages. Frankly it floors and appalls me but I realize it is a dimension that occurs. Would some or many adoptees think of manipulating their bparents into doing this? I would not ask my own parents for financial help. Does this mean she has been raised to value relationships on a monetary level and nothing else? Your input is appreciated. FYI she bailed when I said that I could not help at this time.
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Perhaps she is testing you, to see how far you are willing to go in the relationship. I for one would never in a million years ask my b mother for anything, she owes me nothing! I also know people who were raised right, and still have no problem putting themselves first all the time, so it may not be hhow she was raised. If she wants to walk away, well that is her choice, if she comes back into your life, do not give in, no one should suffer from a one-sided relationship.
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Thank you for the confirmation. It is hard in my situation to know whether my feelings are valid. It does not help that I have a huge heart and would do anything for anyone that I loved. This however was the finale to a rough reunion. My bdaughter is nothing like most of the adoptees I read posts from. It is frustrating but I have to put it behind me and find peace with the matter. She cannot break my heart anymore than it has already been. Thanks again for your input.