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[font=Times New Roman]I have a friend who just confided in me that she was raped when she was 12 and the product of that was a son; she is now 39 and he is 27. In March, he found her thru one of the most popular chat sites. She went to see him shortly after their initial phone contact, and she says that everything went really well. Well, not long after her return, his girlfriend kicked him out of the house (tension from all of this), so his adoptive parents sent him to Montana to see her. While they were sitting around visiting one night, he proceeded to get high on weed, and since she doesnt do illegal drugs, she said she had a few wine coolers. **Let me add at this point that she says itҒs VERY hard to consider him her son (he has said that he does not consider her his mom, as he already has one) since he is already grown upnot the little baby she remembers shortly after giving birth.** Anyway, she said he asked to see the permanent œscars he left her with (the stretch marks) and she showed them to him. He apologized for causing them, and asked to give her a hugԗshe said ok. During this hugӔ he proceeded to kiss hernot just a peck on the cheekחtongue and all. I believe he preyed on her because her husband passed away 3 yrs. prior to this meeting and he knew that she had not beenӔ with anyone since then. I think she was very accepting of this type of contact because she had been missing it for so very long. I also think that since they both were sexually abused by a family member in their childhood (her at 5, him at 7) that it was a precursor to what happened nextsex (3x since the first time). She has repeatedly told him that this CANNOT happen again, but he insists that it is the BEST sex he has ever hadׅshes irresistible, and he canҒt help it (she also says that, as sick as it sounds, that he is the BEST she has ever experienced---that there is some strangeӔ connection between themthey both are completely comfortable and at ease with each otherחthe sex is tremendously SUPERIORӔ to any other experience). She knows it is VERY wrong and is exceptionally depressed now, especially since he doesnt call as much after learning that she has been seeing a new man, almost like he is jealous҅she experiences a little jealousy when he talks about his girlfriend (whom he has since moved back in with). She has had thoughts of suicide, and considering what happened to her when she was 12 and now thisI am VERY concerned about her. I donŒt know what kind of advice to offer her, as this is something I have NEVER had to deal with. I told her I thought she should see a therapist or something, but she insists that it would be too embarrassing for her. I can say that I agree, however I see that her life is completely different since their meeting.she is not the same person I knew prior to this; she is very withdrawn, not the joking, laughing, or pleasant person I knew. Please help me!! What can I do for her?? She wants him to be a part of her life, but NOT if he wants to continue to have sex every time they see each other. She feels as tho that is the only reason he visits her, for the sex. How can she express this to him and not make him abandon her forever? [/font]
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