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but with time and patience and a lot of unconditional love you'll win your childrens hearts. It sound very typical what he's going through, probably doesn't realize how lucky he is to have a family to be raised and nurtured in. Give them some time and give them lots of love, you'll win in the end.

My daughter is the one being sassy, not me lol. I guess I was so frustrated yesterday that I couldn't type right.

Sounds an awful lot like you need to look into some attachment based parenting techniques...ALL children adopted as an older child will struggle with forming an attachment...it may not be full blown RAD, but using the attachment parenting techniques can only help.... [url]www.radzebra.org[/url] is a good place to start....also, read the book Ephraim's Child.... you'll have to google it...

Congratulations on your new ones! What a challenge you have! Hubby and I were never brave enough to foster; he always said he couldn't bear the possibility of losing a child we loved. All of mine are babies, so I can't offer any advice. I understand why your little angels might have trouble adapting. Just stick close to the Lord. I have found a true ally in him in my parenting. Especially in the early weeks of having infant triplets and a toddler. Every time we feel that we are at the end of our ropes, Heavenly Father can, and will, lower a few more inches.

Lower a few more inches.... i'm gonna remember that line, because i think he keeps doing that to us I won't go into our seven year saga of trying to adopt... unless someone really wants to hear it... lol

So please write, it'll do you good

Well, we married in fall of 1998, were offered a baby girl through our church ward, the sister of a member was expecting and did not want baby. We were all set to get a home study and adopt, bio dad's mom found out and she adopted baby, that was our first disapointment. We proceeded to investigate restoring my fertility, I was mid to late 40's at the time, doctor's did a blood test and I was into menopause so it was too late. Did an invitro attempt for $15,000 and it failed. Never did get that home study even though other babies were offered, without that home study it couldn't happen. So we withdrew from the adoption scene for a time. Spring/Summer of 2004 working in the temple, chatting with sisters who volunteered at LDS Family Services, they had lifted the age restriction... we decided to go for it. Got the home study and were ready by late 2004. We were to receive a beautiful biracial girl early 2005. She was a safe haven baby, her mom had turned her in, and we got her. Well mom changed her mind and wanted baby back. We had baby for three long/short months, and were forced to give her back. She is now the youngest of 5 and i better stop on this part cause I get very judgmental... We have been waiting ever since, that was mem weekend of 2005. I have also gone after young children in the foster care system via adoptuskids and every single time some family member comes forward and claims child. We are listed as of this past May on ParentProfiles.com, that LDSFS hooked us up with. We have gotten nibbles and a few live hits. We were sposed to receive in mid August with the one live hit, but baby turned out to be boyfriend's who died in Iraq, and his parents adopted baby. The other live hit we think was a scam, she kept demanding money. If we didn't trust her with our money, why should she trust us with her baby. We are now contemplating paying the outragious fees of an agency of over ten grand, see no other choice, unless we bide our time a bit longer and give parentprofiles.com more time to work. I am 54, was mid 40's when this journey began, I think my age puts folks off, but I don't seem older than early 40's. Hubby is 48 and so fun loving, he can find humor in anything, pull it out of the air... he is half full to my half empty. There are babies out there, how to snag one or two so we can really be considered a family. Yes, we both have two kids each from previous marriages. We each have an older daughter and the younger a son. We don't know where his son is, but his daughter is married to a drill sargeant and they have their own family. She does not communicate with us. My kids are always just a phone call or email away. Mine are moving into an apt this Labor Day Weekend, along with their dear friend whom I consider my third kid. That is my story...

Yes, this has helped, I will always miss my sweet soft angel Emylou, she is 18 months by now, walking talking and the potty training, but she must not have been meant to be. There are no guarantees that even going through an agency, heck any route there are no guarantees until a judge says baby is yours!!!

Sounds like he is afraid to let himself get comfortable with you in case you end up leaving him. I have friends who have adopted children his age, and they all try to "sabotage" the adoption. Reject you before you reject them. Persevere and don't give up! My prayers go with youkarabanara

Well yes, I know he gets silly and acts like he is surprised that I am still married to him. I know he is scarred from a wife leaving him and taking his kids and the second one died in his arms. He told me yesterday he has gotten used to settling for second best which is such a shame. I am really feeling the strain emotionally of doing all this adoption work solo. Now getting into nervous exhaustion at the thought of planning finances for an adoption plus finding an appropriate lawyer. Why can't LDS Family Services simply call us they have a baby girl for us... we pay our caseworker and that is the end of it..... would be the nicest outcome.

cpt morgan- My daughter is verymuch like this but she is only 4 1/2. He could be acting like this for many reasons. I think the key is to encourage him to ride whatever he'd like and let him know that those are his tickets and if he doesn't use them they will just be thrown away and go to waist. Also let him know that you will only be there X amount of time and after that you will have to leave. Part of it may be he is just plain afraid of the ride, afraid to go by himself, or a whole list of reasons. The key is to let him know you love him wether he goes or he doesn't and that you could really care less wether he does it or doesn't, that you will love him all the same. Don't make him feel bad about not wanting to try. But be strict on the policy of "ok it's time to go" we can't go on anymore rides. If he doesn't use those tickets than he could either throw them away or bring them home, because they were his to do what he wanted with. Don't give in and say...ok lets do one more since you have so many tickets left. He had plenty of time to make the choice to use his tickets. The next time you go he will know that you love him either way, your not dissapointed in him and he will know those tickets were really his to use or his to waist. (this could solve a big problem if he feels he doesn't deserve them or he doesn't want to waist your money on him having fun..etc...your money is gone either way. He could choose to have fun or not that is up to him and next time he will likley choose to to have some fun. Knowing the pressure is off him and you love him either way and are proud of him either way, and you accept him either way. Plus he will know that when you say it's time to go, it's time to go so he better hurry up and use them while he can. kinda goes the same way for kids with food issues (like my daughter.) It's basically a power struggle. If I make a big deal about it she will draw it out for hours. Then finally scream and cry because "she's hungry and changed her mind". etc. But if you just give them the food and don't care either way wether she eats or not and only give her a certian amount of time she learns that what she eats is up to her and how much but that mom means business and WILL take away that food when her time is up...so she better get eating if she wants to. If she doesn't, oh well maybe next time.

Then Patty wrote:I believe KB's post was in response to the original post from cpt. Morgan.Cpt. Morgan~ congrats on your two foster adopt children! I pray that all is going well. My children are younger, so we are dealing with the toddler, and young child crazieness in our household...so not really any advice, just kudos for being an awesome Parent for these kiddos.Pattyjb ~As far as your adoption dilima's, you mentioned the foster care program, via the internet site...but have you considered becoming certified with your own state? The foster parents of these children at that internet site are the ones that are going to get 'first adoption' to adopt these children...if family doesn't come forward. And then there are probably a list of other potential adoptive parents, also waiting in line. If you certified through your state, I feel that there would be greater potential of adopting in a timely manner.Good luck,Stephanie