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I have three children, two of which are with me, they are 2, 3, and 5. The 2 year old was givin forf adoption to a great couple who couldnt have any children. The problem is I am pregnant again, with no fathers for any of my children, and no way to give my 2 the life they deserve, so I am going to give my other daughter a sibling. This family is very open about everthing, We talk regularly and I really like them.
My problem is when I gave up my youngest daughter, my children were 1 and 3 and didnt really understand. Obviously now, my kindergartner knows that I am pregnant and that means it's her sibling. I just don't know how to answer her questions about wheter it is her sister or not and i dont want to dissapoint her about telling her she will be able to see the baby regularly, Even though we could but we are just too far away from the other family.
I've suggested to the Adoptive mother, to stay with us, while i'm in the hospital and after the fact so, that my kids can have a period to adjust to seeing the baby being cared for my her Mother and maybe they will understand better that the baby is someone else's daughter. I also need her help because I don't really have anyone to help me with my kids while im in the hospital and after I come home. It will be a c-section.
Am I insane for doing this, and does anyone know of ANY resources that help Birth Siblings cope with the adoption a baby??
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There is a children's book called "Sam's Sister" that is exactly about your situation.
As far as the A-mom staying with you... have you considered doula? There are some that are strictly volunteer, others volunteer their services to those in need.
Please PM me if you have any questions.
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Velasky
I have three children, two of which are with me, they are 2, 3, and 5. The 2 year old was givin forf adoption to a great couple who couldnt have any children. The problem is I am pregnant again, with no fathers for any of my children, and no way to give my 2 the life they deserve, so I am going to give my other daughter a sibling. This family is very open about everthing, We talk regularly and I really like them.
My problem is when I gave up my youngest daughter, my children were 1 and 3 and didnt really understand. Obviously now, my kindergartner knows that I am pregnant and that means it's her sibling. I just don't know how to answer her questions about wheter it is her sister or not and i dont want to dissapoint her about telling her she will be able to see the baby regularly, Even though we could but we are just too far away from the other family.
I've suggested to the Adoptive mother, to stay with us, while i'm in the hospital and after the fact so, that my kids can have a period to adjust to seeing the baby being cared for my her Mother and maybe they will understand better that the baby is someone else's daughter. I also need her help because I don't really have anyone to help me with my kids while im in the hospital and after I come home. It will be a c-section.
Am I insane for doing this, and does anyone know of ANY resources that help Birth Siblings cope with the adoption a baby??
I have heard someone tell them that this baby is for someone else. I have not experienced what you are before, but I did lose a pregnancy late into my 2nd trimester, before we adopted. Our daughter knows her twin siblings are in heaven. It might be hard to say good bye to a sister or brother. Also, adoptive mom may need to be there with her child and get everything ready for new baby as well. I think it best to bond and say bye at the hospital. May not be a popular response, but I think it is the best.
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The birth mom in our situation brought her children sometimes to the doctor's appointments which I attended-Her children spent just a little time with me. The birth mom told her children this baby is Kelly's baby....I was lucky enough that the birth mom allowed me to play a BIG part in her pregnancy and getting to know her children which meant the world to me!! I just think being open and honest with your children is just the best way...:wings:
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