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Hello, I am new to this community and I am hoping to get a lot of information from those on this site and to help guide my family through the decision to adopt a baby.My husband and I live in Florida and we are both Catholic. We are active members of our parish and strong in our faith. We have two biological children, a girl who is 4 and a boy who is 2. We have always wanted 3 children, but due to complications in both of my preganancies (pre-term labor and pre-eclampsia), we have decided to not have any more children. After my son was born, I was fine with that decision, but my husband and I decided to not take any steps toward permanent birth control because of our faith and the fact that we might change our mind someday. As we approach my son's third birthday, I am really starting to doubt my decision to limit our family to two kids. I am almost 100% certain that I want to adopt. Friday night, over dinner, my husband agreed that we could begin the process of talking about potential adoption. But as you can see, even the slightest indication of my husband's interest in adoption has led me to start researching already...and I am not very patient. :) I am very much in the early stages of research, but I do know that I want to rely on my faith to guide me through this process. I plan on scheduling a meeting with my priest this week, and printing out bucketloads of information to share with my husband. Even if we end up deciding that adoption isn't for us for whatever reason, I know that I will never regret spending the time to research this. My questions for you are many, but I am so overwhelmed at this point, I can barely think. I am hoping my priest will be a good source of information and support, but I am sure I will look to this web site for similar support. I just wanted to introduce myself...and let you know that any testimonials/support stories/information/etc. that any of you could provide would be very much welcome and appreciated. :)
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Welcome!
I am not sure what information your priest might have. This community is wonderful for support and information. You can start off by contacting your local Catholic Charities office. They will be sure to give you all the info you need to get started. I *think* in FL you can utilize an adoption attorney. Where I live, one must work with an agency only.
There's so much to learn and so much to tell. Are there any specific questions that you have?
--Renee
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Well, you have found a wonderful sounding board to think out loud in. We are catholic and unable to conceive so our natural progression was adoption. We would have adopted even if we bio children. We believe that God really wanted us to follow this path no matter what. Good luck in your journey.
We started our adoption journey w/ our priest. We saw him for counseling after our infertility diagnosis. He was a great support, introduced us immediately to the Catholic Charities coordinator, and helped us a great deal along the way. He performed our son's baptism and made it into a beautiful entrustment ceremony, involving H's birthmother and her family. We simply couldn't have asked for more. There's a thread somewhere on this board about the Church not being supportive of adoption, but that wasn't our experience at all. I second Renee's advice to talk to Catholic Charities in your area. Best of luck!
Hi, Hep! We were married a long time before we finally began the process of adoption (wish we'd started sooner!) And our journey started the same way yours did - we'd briefly talked about adoption being a great way for people to start/add to a family. Then when it became pretty clear that it would be the only way we'd start our family, I jumped on the bandwagon when my hubby agreed to discuss it! And here we are! After 10 years or marriage, a LOT of prayers and even more faith that God would send us a child - our son was born last fall. We adopted him through our local CC agency and had a good experience (and a relatively short wait time).
Hi, I'm in Canada not the US so I'm not sure how much help I'll be for procedure info as it is a bit different, but I'm here for anything I can be. We are unable to conceive and waiting to be blessed with our first child. Because our faith and beliefs are our guide, we did not persue any sort of infertility treatment and knew God had set us on our path toward adoption. We have been waiting and praying for our family to grow for three years, but officially waiting for adoption for 6 months. Welcome! :) -M
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Hello! My dh and I are both catholic, the only thing I wanted to add is that Catholic Charities (in most places) is not "directly" related to the Catholic Church. In some places it is run by United Way, etc. (it varies). We automatically assumed that we would go through them, but PLEASE remember they are not the only option and you are in no way (in most places) "supporting" the Catholic Church by going with them. I would suggest doing a LOT of research on agencies before picking one. Don't just pick them because they have Catholic in the name, pick an agency because they are the best fit for your family.
(btw- I'm not saying anything bad about ALL CC, just the one I dealt with was...slimy...but each one is different, each area is totally different!! So do your research and good luck!!)
Natalie
Natalie's advice is good--- we had a great experience w/ CC, but they are independently run organizations. Some will only work w/ Catholic families, others are more open, some have a closer association to the church than others, and as Natalie points out, some are great and some aren't so hot. In our area, at least, it's not unusual for them to have more potential birthmothers than they have adoptive families, so the wait wasn't long.
We are Catholic and thankfully we started working with the agency affiliated with Jewish Children and Family Services because recently Catholic Charities in MA shut down all of its adoption services (as opposed to following the state antidiscrimination law). So I would agree that going thru the Catholic Charities is AN option, but definitely feel free to explore other agencies. GOOD luck in your journey...It is truly an amazing one!! I have no doubt in my mind that God planned for me to have my DD all along.....
Yes, it is odd the relationship CC agencies have with the Church. In fact, when I asked our parish life coordinator whom to contact regarding adoption, she couldn't tell me! I called the Archdiocese office,after looking online to get in contact with our agency. It's sad. I hope to help (in our area at least) spread the work about our CC agency to others who might be interested.
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I have a problem with them being called CATHOLIC charities but having no "direct" relation to the church (I know it is different everywhere you go). I know a lot of people expect us to go with CC because they think they are Catholic and we would be supporting the church. I think it is very misleading to people (again, know i'm speaking of area's that it is NOT in relation to the church).
I wish the church offered more...THAT IS directly related to the church. Not saying that we have to ONLY allow Catholic's to adopt from them, but we sure could take the values of the church and apply them to the agency (Life, support, community, Christ's love). I just think that with all the preaching they do about Life that they would OFFER more options. Something that IS universal, or national. I don't know...just blabbing, I was very dissapointed in the church though and it's support for adoption (again, that was here, I have heard some churches are wonderful). As big as the Catholic church is...can you imagine the wonderful effect a GOOD agency could be? One that does things right...counseling, support, everything. What a powerful effect they could have on the adoption world (not saying they could save the world, but they could help change things....)
Natalie
Natalie, you raise an interesting point. Catholic has two definitions: 1) of or relating to the ancient, undivided Christian church 2) universal in scope. I think they're both relevant to the point you make. We've not seen a lack of support for adoption in our area--quite the opposite--- but I was really surprised to see posts (yours, and on another thread, below) from people indicating that their churches didn't seem supportive of adoption. It is totally illogical to support life at all costs but not be supportive of adoption. I agree with you, it seems to me a much more natural extension of our beliefs would be to be the "universal" example of the good things about adoption and the right, ethical way to go about it.
We did not use Catholic Charities, but they were our fist point of contact when we decided to pursue adoption. The wait in our area is very long, they are not that reasonable fees wise, and we didn't want to adopt from our state. So we chose another agency. I was just suggesting them to gain some good ground info, not exactly promoting their services. Sorry for the confusion.
--Renee
Renee- No problem, actually I wasn't responding to your post, just because I think as Catholics, a lot of us first thing of CC (if we knew about it) so I wanted people to know that they aren't directly related so they wouldn't feel pressure....like we did (but didn't go with them).
HBV- exactly my thoughts. Even having adoption education classes. I think those could go a lot farther than abortion protests all the time. Promote LIFE in a positive way. Not telling someone "dont EVER do this", telling them "Have you thought about THIS as an option?". Including parenting and adoption.....
I don't know...it just seems to me that we could do a lot more. Maybe we should start our own organization, LOL ;)
Natalie
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