Help me! Do I need to disrupt my adoption?

thank you, this is helpful, I will research further.

I have contacted 17 attorneys now who feel they are not qualified to take this case. I have a new name to try tomorrow. Thanks for the prayers!

for Stevenstwin: This is exactly what CPS worker told me, if he comes home, she gets moved. Yet they don't understand he has no where else to go and offer no support for finding something. We don't want (can't have) him back, plus it is also illegal for us (besides the moral concerns) to just abandon him to the streets. I am so frustrated! Now we just found out his release date is Sept. 11! So soon!

This is also a good idea, I will call our insurance, but I have a feeling there is only a small percent of coverage, and remember the bill will be 7-10,000/month! What insurance will cover that? What tears at me is that the kids who get this treatment are all state kids and we took him out of that system that would have helped him.

I know there is a bill in the Congress or Senate that would mandate payment for such needs as his WITHOUT having to dissolve the adoption. There have been many instances where even birth families have had to sign away their rights in order to get the child to qualify for the state to pay for these services. The government is finally recognizing it as a serious problem. Maybe you can contact the legislators spearheading this campaign, explain your situation, & get someone to DO something to help you through this terrible ordeal.

That is a great idea. Do you have any idea how to do that? I am not good in this area. Do you have any names or subject titles to search with? I have no clue what to do to start a search like this. Thanks!

Call an attorney and by no means, let this boy in your house again. Your Daughter deserves better.

no advice, but i am so sad for you and your daughter especially. is she getting help? when is he 18? or did i miss that somewhere. someone said to contact the media, i agree. people would not be happy knowing a sex offender is out and being forced on his parents who have a little girl at home. my prayers are with you!

Just an FYI that your insurance will probably deny you at first because that is what they do. You will likely have to fight and argue with them to cover it. They keep denying until they can't justify it anymore because they know that people will give up. Never talk to the first person always ask for a manager or someone at that level. I have known people who have done this and gotten RTC paid for by their insurance co. You just have to be determined. I hope all works out for you and your family.

I just noticed the first post was written over a year ago....any updates on what happend? I am guessing he is over 18 by now and out of the house.

Hi guys. I PM'd LaurieJean and asked how things had turned out and if she and her family were doing ok and I got this reply that she asked me to share. I have copied and pasted it just as it was:

Contact an attorney who specifically represents parents in child protective cases. If you are in Washington State, start with your public defenders office: [url=http://www.opd.wa.gov/]Washington State Office of Public Defense[/url] they hav a parent's representation section. I am sure that some of those attorneys also take private cases. They should be familiar with the issues you need addressed - or they should be able to refer you to someone. Does your child have special education services? If so, you may be able to get the school to pay for some services. You are in such a tough situation. Keep reaching out.

This exact topic was covered on our local king5news here (I am also in WA state). [url=http://www.king5.com/localnews/investigators/stories/NW_112907INV_foster_care_follow_up_KS.50610365.html]Investigators: Report finds similar problems in foster care system | Investigators | KING5.com | News for Seattle, Washington[/url] this is the link to the actual story. [url=http://www.governor.wa.gov/ofco/]OFCO | Office of the Family and Children's Ombudsman[/url] this is the link to the omsbudsman. I hold you in my prayers, this not right.

This post is over a year old, so unlikely to get a response from the original poster, but I wanted to respond to this idea. Yes, I agree with you - but what I find lacking in your response is any consideration for the OTHER child and what HE deserves. Also, since he is legally THEIR CHILD they can't just "not allow him in their home". That is illegal and immoral. He has to have somewhere to GO. I may be misinterpreting your tone, but I'm "hearing" it a certain way.."That boy" intead of "your beloved son" for instance. We adopt these special needs kids because we love them. They don't just suddenly become expendable if their problems are more severe than we originally realized.

I had a similar situation as the original poster, only not with an adopted child. My cousin's mildly MR son had spent a lot of time hanging out at my home with my kids, he was sweet and very funny, and we all loved him. He was also very neglected at home, so on his 17th birthday and still in 9th grade, his mom said we could take him, I assumed guardianship over him. We were happy with that, and had hoped to be able to do that for a long time, and immediately started with doctors and therapy to try to find out what all kind of help he needed. We actually thought his biggest problem was extreme laziness, as his mother had never required him to do anything--I mean bathe, schoolwork, even go to school. Before the guardianship, he would stay with us a lot, but conveniently go back to mom when our rules about baths, helping out with chores, attending school would get too annoying. Then he'd get hungry, and come back. Huge mistake I made not involving DHR early on. Anyway, schizophrenia is a late manifester, and usually hits late teens to 20 years old, and "they" think that is what happened to this child. We had several episodes where this child who loved my kids would suddenly roll his eyes back in his head and become violent. He physically attacked two of my sons on two different occasions, one much larger and stronger than him, one half his size. If someone else had not been right there to jump on him, I don't know how much harm he could have done. Afterwards, his eyes would roll back and he would be confused and clueless why everyone was yelling at him and want to cry over what he had done. Eventually he confessed to me that had happened at school before, he had "come to" strangling "a little kid" whose locker was next to his, and thought he had killed him when the boy fell to the floor. Turned out he had only passed out. He had a way of exaggerating things, so I found that hard to believe because I'd never heard anything about it, but obtained all his school records, and it really had happened. But the school had shockingly dropped the ball, then mom changed schools, etc etc, nothing gets done. Anyway, I learn all these horrifying things AFTER the guardianship, and that I cannot have him commited against his will unless he is actively threatening to harm someone else or himself. Finally, he chose hospitalization telling me he really wish somebody could make the demons who jumped out everyday trying to attack him and kill him go away. Huge relief, thought now he'll finally get help. WRONG. After a month, he was bathing and cooperating and not confessing to the demons everywhere, so they said I had to take him home. Also, there were no group homes available to put him in, unless I could pay over $1000 per month (indefinitely). (HE had Medicaid plus my Blue Cross, plus I had gotten his SSI). If I refused to bring him home, I could be charged with child abandonment. I tried everything-- attorneys, DHR at the state level, state advocates for mentally disabled, everything-- but got no where, and was forced to bring him home. Went through more psychiatrists, neurologists, MRI's, EEGs, various medications, counseling, 2 more hospitalizations. No one could determine why he had the random violent episodes, and no one could help us find a place to treat him away from our home. Finally after last hospitalization, his crazy psychiatrist told him I was his biggest problem, and he didn't have to listen to me anymore. On the way home, he asked me if it was true that he really didn't have to obey me anymore, and I told him under the law I could not force him to obey, but as long as he lived in my house he did have to listen to me. (I had also been denied the ability to file a CHINS petition with juvie--"you're not his mother, only his guardian"). Well, when we got home that day, he told me he loved me and appreciated me for everything I'd done to help him, but it was time he left home since he didn't have to obey anymore. So, our "problem" with him was over, but the situation and our inability to get help, and my actually being blamed for his problems was outrageous and still sickens me. Now, 2 years later, he is still a sweet lovable boy who loves us and holds no grudges against us. But he can't hold even the easiest of jobs more than a few weeks. The military actually ACCEPTED him into service recently, then dishonorably discharged him months later after he stabbed a guy. Oh yeah, he's also a proud daddy of a 6 month old baby, and another one on the way. He receives no mental health treatment, and it's likely just a matter of time before he attacks someone else he loves, or who angers him, like he's done repeatedly in the past. And then my finger will point straight to the quack who set him free and blamed me. It's just amazing something terrible more has to happen before he will receive any further help-- (or incarceration without help). Anyway, know it was long, just wanted to vent. The law doesn't help these kids who are nearly adults, teen centers don't want them, adult centers don't either-- but I was told if I had reported his mother and he'd been put into foster care instead of me taking him, then slots would have been available. :grr: