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I just found my birth son,I have only spoke to his adopted parents.They basically told me ,he had an identity,and me showing up was like hearing from an old unwanted girlfriend.Ouch.the a mom also told me that my son had a variety of health problems including being diagnosed with ADHD at 2???? She told me he was very weak in the beginning and refused to drink his formula ,almost to the point they had to put him on growth hormones.It sounded like attatchment anxiety disorder to me. I was so heartbroken. I know my son is 21 now and has a family of his own. I just wish I could undestand why he can't have anything to do with me. I thought he would feel loved and wanted to know that his mom searched for him as soon as she was legally able to do. I came back for him to be in his life as soon as I could. I feel horrible that he has had struggles in life and now his adopted parents are against any thing having to do with me. His adopted mom di not ask me one question during our conversation. I tried at one point in the conversation to point out a similarity between my b son and my daughter and she just completely cut me off. She did not want to hear one thing about me or his sister. It was like she was giving a short progress report and the she handed me my hat and showed me the door. :grr:
Ouch!!!!! While I think it is admirable that you attempted to contact your son through the aparents, at 21, he is certainly an adult, and capable of making his own decisions about meeting you......
What's your next step? I wouldn't assume that your bson feels exactly the way his amom says. Again, that's for him to decide.........
Karen
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I did contact him directly by mail,I just did not have anything other than a work number for him. He is an adult,I just felt and (rightly so) that he was still very controlled by his a parents and I thought by me calling them it would make me less scary to them and they might help him with his feelings by letting him know he would not have to feel guilty ,ect. I in retrospect probably made the situation worse. I did right him another letter after I called them and told him I had called them and explained indetail the circumstances which led up to me having to place him at 17. Someone told me at this point ,what do I have to lose and I should cal him at work as a voice on the phone is less scary than the letter. I don't want to make it worse.