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Well DD 10 finally has an appropriate diagnosis for all the raging, moodiness, anger, etc. It's bipolar. Now what? What the heck do we do? I am sorry. I guess I am terrible. It doesn't make me any less angry at her for her behavior. It will be a month before we can get her into the psych to get any type of mood stabilizing drugs but I guess we have went w/o this long!
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It has been over a year now since my daughter started with the mental health thing. After several different medicatoins, the best so far are Ability and Rispirdal, which, incidently, my daughter reluctantly takes, saying "she does not need medication.l" She is in a treatment group home, which, of course, she hates. It has gotten from "let's hurry up and get her well" at the beginning to now "we have a lot of time, let's let the therapy work and I'm actually terrified to bring her home." Bipolar is not easily diagnosed and after a year, her psychiatrist still isn't sure if he has her diagnosed right. And I quote "she is one in a million." Oh my gosh, in many ways she is. However, the emotional rollercoaster she has us on seems neverending. Thanks for listening!
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The Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation saved my sanity when our older daughter was diagnosed bipolar at the age of four: [url=http://www.cabf.org]Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation: Vital information on bipolar disorder in children, teens, and young adults.[/url]The biggest thing I learned: get the right meds and question authority. Our daughter has been stable and happy on Lithium and Abilify for a couple of years now, but she wouldn't be on either of those if I hadn't educated myself and found the right doctors.Audrey
It took me 2 years to find the right medication for me. I am on 3 different types of Medication for Bipolar Disorder. It's hard for friends and even family to understand our moods. Sometimes I need them to ask me whats wrong and to be there, and sometimes I'll yell at them if they ask and curse them out. I was admitted to a residential treatment for bipolar, and was given medications that made me gain weight, loose weight, I was on one that made me see things that weren't there.
We discovered after our kids had been with us awhile that they had childhood onset bipolar (apparently some pdoc down the line didn't believe in it for young children or something). Our new 13 year old son was violent and aggressive and even now that he's been stable on his meds for almost 3 years, I'm still nervous around him and don't like him very much. Some of that is his RAD of course. Getting over the resentment and anger of a child's behavior is hard, even when you know what caused it. Getting a break from it really helped us (our son went to residential treatment for 6 months while they got his meds stabilized), but support groups like this are really helpful too. Mary
Sass---I'm right there with you. We literally got her diagnosis yesterday. I am having a hard time accepting it.
For 14 months we have pegged her as manipulative, moody, and basically a raging, out of control child.
Now they say it's bipolar (her father is apparently bipolar).
In so many ways it makes sense. But it's seeming hard to un-program myself that it is behavioral. Everyone seemed to think it was 100% behavioral--because she seemed so in control of it.
Anyways, feeling a bit like a failure right now. Haven't gotten a chance to do much research yet. She'll start risperdol by the end of the week hopefully....she had been on prozac which was making it worse.
Sigh.
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Try not to be too hard on yourself. Hindsight is 20/20. I have a 14 year old daughter that is starting to show signs of bipolar (runs strongly in my family). It may be "typical teen" behavior or it might be the beginning of adolescent onset bipolar. I strongly believe that in a few years, when we know if she has it, we'll look back and say that this behavior was proof, but right now it's just too soon to tell. I had adolescent onset and wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 30s, even though we kind of knew what to look for because my mom had it. Adopted kids have so many other things that can cause the symptoms too! Anyway, I totally understand how hard it is to deal with the feelings of resentment, even though now you know it's caused by BP. Especially with 2 or 3 with it in my house right now. Mary
Our dd was hospitalized for 12 days, threatening to kill herself and us. After, saying the right thing, they discharged her and we are right back to the same terrible behavior. She is on Lithium, Depakote and Haldrol. I still believe part of it is just plain incorrigibility. She is an angry, verbal and emotional abusive individual. How do any of you afford residential treatment? Our child is foreign adopted and therefore we get no adoption subsidy and state of Michigan will only commit her to a residential treatment facility if she is a criminal, or if we file neglect charges. We have insurance, but I cannot find any facilities which accept private insurance. Such a shame that nobody feels the need to help the child or the family that's being abused.
I will pray for your family. I have a son who is bp, adhd, odd and a whole bunch others. He has never threatened anyone or himself but he is so angry all the time. He screams to the top of his lungs but with God and lots of patience, we have dealt with the issues and he is doing much better. He is on Concerta and Ability and they seem to work fine. He takes clonodine for sleeping at night.
Nilda - what mood stabilizer is your son on (maybe you just didn't list it)? Concerta is a stimulant which can trigger mania (anger) especially if you have no mood stabilizers in place. Abilify works fine, but better as an enhancer to other meds. If you child really is bipolar, things are not going to get much better without a mood stabilizer or two. Finding the right med combination is difficult, but believe me your life could be much easier. My son was super aggressive and out of control until we got him properly diagnosed and medicated. Now he still has major issues, but he's MUCH easier to live with. I highly recommend the support groups at the Child and Adolescent Bipolar foundation. They have one specifically for adoption too although it's not as active so I would recommend it in addition to a regular support group (they assign one to you based on your compatibility with existing members - I'm a member of Teen 5). They have chats M/W/F evenings too that are a good chance to ask questions and just vent.
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[QUOTE=rk36 Don't give up, there is really a great child behind all the bad behavior.[/QUOTE]
My husband and I adopted a special needs sib group of 3 last year. We already had a (his+hers+ours) family of 7 before the adoption. We were completely confidant in our parenting abilities and never knew how blessed we were with our bio children until we adopted - and faced 2 of 3 with significant psychological/chemical challenges. I feel completely defeated as a parent (despite rather successfully parenting for the last 20+ years) and humiliated by the behavior of these children. I often wonder what happened to the parent that used to be complimented for the exceptional behavior of my children. My best friend keeps telling me that I cannot love away a chemical problem.... but it is hard to internalize. I needed to know today that if we can ever get the chemical condition right that there might be a "great child" behind all the bad behavior. Thanks so much!:wings:
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My 16 yo dd just spent 27 days in juvenile home for trying to strangle her 13 yo brother wiht no treatment or counseling. The court released her yesterday into our care, but unfortunately I refused to bring her back into our home. I am very fearful for myself, husband and other children. We have been sleeping behind locked doors and not this. Well, I am now being charged with neglect and abuse since I am unwilling to take her back. Nobody seems to understand the fear and abuse that these children place upon their families. Please pray that the courts do not remove our other children, which CPS claims maybe a possibility due to the abuse and neglect charge. Can you believe this? I am just trying to sort through all this, here I am trying to keep us all safe and this is what we get. Thanks for listening.