Questions to ask when considering teen

I did not create these questions, but this is the list I put together last year before interviewing for M, mostly from suggestions I got on these boards. (I would give credit, but no idea who gave them to me in the first place!) Is he very parentified? Does he try to be in control? How? How is that best dealt with? Does he ever tell untruths/or steal things? Does he try to triangulate people? Does he reserve bad behavior for home? Or is he great at home, but huge problems at school? How do his teachims see him? How does he perceive himself? Doehe see himself as a victim, or not? Or does he have a lot of bravado? Or is he very quiet and shy? Has anyone ever felt he needs a diagnosis he doesn't currently have? Was anything done about that? How do his Biological parents feel about him? How do they feel about his adoption? Do they understand what adoption is? Or do they see it is a form of foster care, and he will come home as soon as he is 18? Has he been fully screened for Hep A,B,C/HIV/allergies/anaemia etc etc? Do you feel he is likely to honeymoon in a big way? Then test you? Or does he not tend to honeymoon but just test straight away? Does he have an IEP? Can you read it? How is he with homework? Avoid it? Get straight on with it? And the dreaded questions!! How is he with girls?! Has he been allowed to have boyfriends? Has he ever been caught trying to access porn, on computer or phone? Does he have a phone of his own? How does he use it? Appropriately or not appropriately? If he tantrums etc, can you see it coming in advance? Is thime any way to stop it happening? (othim than giving him what he wants) Questions about Bio family and boy's own idea of adoption What is his understanding of adoption? How has he been prepared for adoption thus far? And how will he be prepared for intros and move in? If he is unhappy in his current placement, how quickly will you want to transition or will thime even be a transition? How does he seem to feel about his biological parents? How does he talk about them? (Confirm any plans for future contact at the meeting.) How does he feel about contact with his BP's? How does he feel about siblings? What has their relationship been like recently. What contact do they have with each othim and what contact will they need to have in the future? How does he react after contact with BF? How do you think he will cope with the move? What possessions does he have from BF? How does he feel about these possessions? Questions about health Is he due for any vaccines? Does he have any allergies? How are these managed? Have thime been any health scares in the past with him? Anything out of the ordinary medical wise? Details if he has ever needed surgery? Do you have any access to his medical records? Any upcoming appointments for him? On any current medications? If he takes meds, how and when are they given? Anything medical/dental which isn't up to date? Does he get travel sick?! Questions about Education Does he attended regular school? Is he on him grade level? Any friends from school he will miss badly? What has been done in school when he has difficulties/problems? What was his last report like? Any talents at school? Favorite subjects? What are his weak areas? 'Social' questions Any special friends he has? How will he cope with losing them? How does he get on with othim children? Does he enjoy the company of adults or children more? Is he a leader or a follower? Has he ever been bullied? How does he feel about that? What was done to stop it? Does he have any difficulties with hugs/eye contact? Is he frightened by any people? How does he behave with strangers? What groups does he go to? How is he with birthday parties? How does he feel about him own birthday/christmas etc? Any difficulties thime? Questions about likes/dislikes/routine and Behavior How well does he concentrate on things - does he flit between activities or stay with them? What does he like doing? Dislike doing? And how does he react if you try and make him do someting he dislikes? What is his daily routine? How does he react when it is changed? How will he cope when he moves in and his routine is changed by that? Does he have any fears, irrational or othimwise? How are those best dealt with? What makes him especially sad or happy? What makes him angry? How is this dealt with? What works best at diffusing him? Or dealing with tantrums? How long does a typical tantrum last? And what stages does it go through? The worst behavior he has ever displayed was ?? How was it dealt with? What doesn't work when trying to discipline? How does he react to discipline? How can you tell if he is angry/scared? What triggers tantrums? How does he react to pain? And how does he react to distress? How does he cope with stress/difficult times? How does he comfort himself when distressed? Does he let his FP's in when in pain ir distressed? Or isolate himself? What is his general outlook on life? Any sanctuary/special place he has? What is his understanding of safety/matches/fire alarms etc?? Any animals he hates/is scared of? Favorite books/movies? Clothes and fashion sense? How does he sleep? Nightmares or night terrors? Or refusal to go to bed? How is he with food? Any food issues? Favorite foods? Any sexual acting out? Instances of aggressive behavior? Othim Questions What photos does he have? Any photos of BF he will bring with him? Does he have a nickname? His religion? How does he feel about religion? What's his self image like? Any insecurities thime? If thime is plans for future contact with BF, who supports that? Has anyone opposed that? (e.g his SW or CASA) Or indeed ever opposed him being placed for adoption? Why? Are thime any psychiatric reports/any othim assessments of a similar nature you should be aware of? Can you read it? What thimapy does he have? How is he engaging with him thimapy? What progress has he made with it? How does thimapist feel he has progressed? What is the feeling about future thimapy he may need? How does he feel about being in care? His FP's? Have any placements ever disrupted? WHY? Ever been placed in thimapeutic care? WHY? How does he feel about being adopted? What has he been told about BP's? Any details of his past he doesn't know/been left out? How did he react to moves whilst in care? How do his current FP's feel about him and do they feel he has made progress whilst being in their home? Get lots of information on any Dx's he has. eg. if he has PTSD, what triggers that? "Has he ever made accusations\allegations against foster parents or othims?" And if the answer is "Yes", then "Were they substantiated?"

Thank you so much! They should hand out a packet containing these questions for all potential adoptive parents to ask.

Sorry about the crazy misspelled words. Thought I would be clever and do a quick find/replace to swap her for him...and it worked too well, replacing every incident, hence the "thimipy" and "othims" throughout lol