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I am a new foster mom/adoptive resource family, our first placement was a 6 month old who we have now had 10 months, and of course we are totally in love with! Current situation Dad is out of picture(long incarceration), mom has been in and out of sev re-habs not completing, then relapsing, hasn't seen child but one time in 7 months, mom has long history of issues, and seems not able or unwilling to pull it together. But lately she makes sporatic efforts, but still no job, no house no, anything really and we are sure still using. We have stated from the beginning we would adopt, and are praying we are able, 1 year hearing is scheduled for December, I understand this is where they change directions to a perm plan. We are not suppose to have to worry with other family members receiving child as they have already been investigated, and do not want. I guess I just want your advise on what to expect the next few months, and does it play a factor in the court, where mom hasnt done anything for so long, and then now decides to pop in and out and do things once in a while, this isnt grounds for extensions is it? I mean this child thinks of us as mom and dad, and has bonded so tight with us. I guess I just want some feedbalk from the experts" The ones that have been through this"...I never knew this would be such a roller coaster ride, and I also never knew (I am unable to have children) this unconditional love for a child, and I just find it so hard to comprehend that anyone can turn their back on their child. I would do anything for this shining star in our lives! This past 10 months have been crazy, but I would not trade it for the world. Just keep us in your prayers, and let me know your stories, and I will keep you posted! P.s also one of my fears in that, by her being so attached to us, if she goes somewhere else or home to **, this could hurt her so much, do the courts look at this also? fostermom of 16month female!
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Our boys bio mom was very irregular with following her plan during the first year. Due to her completing some aspects of it (the parenting classes), the judge granted her a 6 month extension to work on the aspects she did not complete (anger management, drug counseling, weekly psych counseling). The caseworker who had been working with this family stated that she thought it would be "just enough rope" for the bio mom to hang herself. And, she was right. The bio mom of our boys can keep it together for about 3 months at a time, then she falls apart and starts using/abusing again. Our fears were very high until the 6 months were up, but it turned out that she just couldn't keep herself together to complete her plan.The bio mom signed TPR in February, and we adopted them last month.I wish you all the best.
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My experience with 2 adoption stories (1 still in the making) is "hold on", the ride is not over yet. We have a situation where only 2 weeks out from Termination, the judge dropped the case. Mom has never completed anything in her caseplan (2 years now) and the plan now seems to be reunification. They have given bmom 7 more months to get her act together. All I can tell you is to put your faith into action, you will need it. It is very difficult to "let go", but do what is possible to do and then try, and I know how hard it is, to just put your faith in God to take care of things to His will. The most difficult part of adoption is knowing how much love we have in our hearts for these children, yet we are not in charge of what happens to them in the future. Looking back at all the hoops that adoptive families have to go through, yet in the process the bmoms get all the benefits of doubt given to them. I am not sure how the system will ever be changed for the innocent and I don't know what the answer to it all is, but I am so thankful that we live in this generation where these types of forums are available and we have each other to lift up in support and pray for. I will keep you and your family close. Let me know how things go.
:grr: i am not a foster parent but i have a child that was placed with me because i was family at the time,i am divorce now the child is still with me and i am gonna adopt but i am waiting on the judge to stop giving the bmom rope the child has been with me since 2002 and hasnt seen bmom or dad since then dad has agreed to do whatever i want but bmom is holding me back we go to court about every 2 - 4 months and the last 3 court dates she hasnt showed up but they still keep giving her rope i am paying for my lawyer i have already paid over 5,000 in court stuff but bmom has the state givin her a lawyer she has never bought sent a b-card xmas card letter child support nothing which is fine he dont want for anything but thats not the point :mad:
i dont understand why the courts take so long with kids well being ...even the kids know ...mine does he use to when he found out i had to go back to court he would be so sad:( because he didnt know if he was gonna be took away now he knows but it took alot to get his trust about it i am mom and dad now i love him as my own (i dont have any ) he's telling me he wants a sister now maybe i will become a foster parent after this is done
thanks for all the different info
Our son's bio mom acted like she wanted to work her plan for about 6 months, but never completed major pieces. For example, she did basic rehab and parenting classes but had no job, place to live or regular drug testing. Finally, she started to fall apart and use again. At our one year hearing, they terminated her rights and we adopted him last month. Sometimes things do work out. Stay in close touch with your CW and make sure they know how well your kiddo is doing in your home. Good Luck!
This is January, whats going on? Did she egt the extension, or are you able to adopt?? lol.. My friend has a foster child and her mom got an extension after onley making 8 visits and 1 doctors appointment in a year.....So one can never tell.. I was one of the lucky ones my childrens b parents surrendered...Thank God.. UPDATE UPDATE!!! Thanks Jen
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