Update

My heart aches for this situation. I am literally crying I feel so close to your case its like it is hitting home. I will continue to pray-God knows your angel belongs with you and your family. Its so clear that you love this little angel so much!!! Its ashame the courts allow these birth fathers to just play games..literally with a child's best interest. You opened your heart to an angel and God sees all that you and your family have done and continue to do...Fear just takes over on days and the constant worry of what will happen next is just sometimes unbelievable. Please keep us posted...My thoughts and prayers to you and your angel. I know one thing this little angel could not have asked for stronger parents and family- The constant love and support is always what a family shoud give..and God knows you give your all!!! The one saying someone emailed me once stuck with me. Love not blood builds a family...I wish for once the court system could understand that! St. Jude is so powerful and He is the Saint of hopeless cases,of things almost despaired of..God placed our angels with us for a reason...May God Bless...:wings:

I have a question about your comments concerning the BF never attempting to contact his child whom you have raised for the last 8 years. If I recall correctly the NC court ordered you to bring the child to NC one weekend a month for contact with the BF. Did you do this and did the BF not show up for these meetings? I am confused as to what more the BF could do other than obtain a court order to try to attempt to contact his child?

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. I trust that the courts will find that you are the TRUE parents of your child and that the BF had ample opportunity to be a father and had chosen not to. Please keep us informed as to how everything goes. God Bless You! (HUGS)Jaefer:grouphug:

Yes that is true and NO we did not do it.We ignored the order because OH had not given their ruling on jurisdiction.That is what I mean about NC.They were making rulings and handing down court orders before OH even made any ruling here.However I never considered that angle and that a court system would allow a Bfather to come and use that as evidence of trying to contact his child.We know that he had our correct address since the yr 2000 and I do not know the laws but the last I knew NO ONE needs a court order to send a birthday card or christmas gifts or even a letter saying HI.We have phone records of trying to contact him in which he would never call back or come to the phone.So leaving our phone number with him and once again I do not know the laws but I do not think you would need a court order for calling someone that you want to get in contact with.These phone records are dated before we ever filed anything.Even now if NC hands down a ruling to have us bring her we will not(per our attorney).Whatever excuse he can come up with for this really makes no difference to us.We will somehow come up with the funds to keep fighting this.NOT BECAUSE WE ARE FIGHTING FOR SOMETHING THAT WE BELIEVE IS OURS, BUT RATHER FOR A LITTLE GIRL THAT ONLY WANTS TO STAY WHERE SHE IS AT.THIS WOULD BE A PLACE AND A LIFE SHE CALLS HOME.May GOD give this man the strength and the wisdom to, at least once in his life, HONESTLY AND TRUELY THINK OF THIS LITTLE GIRL AND WHAT SHE WANTS.GOD BLESS

daddysangel, I am appalled and saddened for you and your daughter. My case is also legally entangled. I highly recommend a book to you called "Legal Abuse Syndrome" by Karin Huffer. If you will PM me an address I'll buy it for you and send it to you. This is incredible and outrageous. I am so very sorry. NOW is the time this one desperately needs some help: the ACLU, National News, SOMEONE somewhere needs to help. What can I do for you? Write letters? Go to court? Like me you have probably already tried everything under the sun - but I know you won't give up and we are here for you as well. What about the local news station that aired your case once before? Might they be able to step in again? I'm so mad about this that I just want to do SOMETHING to help. I am so proud of you standing up like this for your daughter. GOD BLESS

I just read the posts my husband did(daddysangel) and the replies he had gotten so far....I thank you all for your support and prays. I don't mind people asking questions about our case, there are ALOT of us going though the same thing on here, but what I do mind and I am sorry for saying this UNLESS you are going though this YOU have no clue what we are going though, I would never wish these feeling, fears, heartaches, just the emotional stress it causes to my worst enemy!! There was a reply to my husbands post that got to me, After 8yrs of no contact or child support and no talking to this little girl, you are telling me that this so called bfather has rights??? 8years!!! He knew where this child was but yet did nothing, the NC courts order DNA to be done back in 2001, and yet he did NOTHING! We ended up paying for it to be done 545.00 why was that on us we are not the bparents, but yet we did it, and if we had not done it, it would NOT be done today. We do all this to protect this child yet we have no rights....What has the so called bfather done that gives him rights?? He made this child but yet did NOTHING for this child. When we started this adoption thats when he ONLY slowed us down, still has yet to do ANYTHING, as long as we push things which cost us and our family money then its ok. When we got NC papers to take her down there for visit with this so called man we did not, where was he??? Where was he when she turned 8?? Where is he when she is crying??? Where is he when she is scared to death that she is gonna be taking from the only home she knows??? This is what our 8 YEAR OLD daughter is going though...When you reply to peoples post, you have to try to put yourselves in their shoes, then maybe you would see where we are coming from, these are OUR CHILDREN we are fighting for not a door mat that you can throw away, or pick up when you feel like it. I am still having a hard time coming on here and reading some peoples post because our case are so much alike, and you know who you are,Stacy, Christie.... You two I don't know but I feel like I do. My heart breaks when I read your post. I was in counseling for all this I was having a very hard time trying to understand what was going on,and I still do, I don't know why the courts do what they do, they take people rights away all the time, but when there is a case right in front of them that shows there is proof of abandonment or neglect they do nothing, like our lawyer told us..."they look for the easy way out" and in our case thats what they did, But not taking into matters that this is a child with feelings and a voice!! I will keep you all in my prays and pray that God will hold us in his hands and will hear our voices..God Bless:grouphug:

You are 100% right unless you are living this you have no idea what we and our children go through! Bottom line if these birth fathers wanted these angels this would never have gone on for so long. Rather you have to go to court to get visits or custody-you would do what it takes to get your child-The birth father in our case knows our phone number -was told anytime you want to see the baby your welcomed-anytime you want to call your welcomed-and yet nothing! It seems the hopeful adoptive parents need to jump hoops for these guys which is ridiculous- These birth fathers are aware of exaclty where their children are....and know the plans of an adoption-We did not take these children from them-they never stepped up and still have done nothing show any commitment to the children. They will try and make up excuses for why they did not step up, but what possible excuse can they make for not being in their child's life. To me this is clearly abandonment leaving your child for now over one year is clear abandonment. We are expected to love this children and then once the birth father wants them -we are supposed to just not have feelings and hand the baby back-Its just sad. For once this birth fathers need to realize a child should not be treated like property. You just cannot expect these children not to have feelings and attachment after being with us all this time. Literally we have done all we can - Why should we have to cater and follow these birth fathers around reminding them they have a child?? These birth fathers are so aware of what is happening. Bottom line Joskids I agree with you stay strong...and fight!!!!:clap:

I am appalled and incredibly sad for your family going through this. We have a 9 month old being contested and, like I told my husband the other night, in 9 months (I know many of you have waited longer), we still cannot know that she is ours forever. How much hurt can any of us continue to go through? An 8 year old knows where she wants to be. She does not even know her birth father (I'd call him a donor but don't know if my terms for him is acceptable). It's a matter of CONTROL when a birth parent has done nothing to support a child yet still holds out like this and threatens her happiness. He isn't concerned about this baby girl. His concern is for himself, to ADMIT that he hasn't been a father in the real sense. I pray that you will find an attorney who will help. Our child's foster mother was in a case 23 years ago to adopt a biracial foster child with Down Syndrome. She had to get the ACLU involved because as a foster parent, they were not allowed to parent and race became the issue (the family is white). She appeared on more than one talk show and they won and now their daughter is 23 and doing well. Christie is an INCREDIBLE SUPPORT. Christie, I hope you know how appreciative any of us are for your kind words and your willingness to do whatever it takes. Know that most of us on this board fully support your family in this very, very sad and difficult time. Stay strong. Miracles happen every single day. Sending hugs,Josie

It is absolutely indescribable. In another post I shared how mind-numbing and horrifying it is for us as PARENTS - not adoptive parents, but TRUE parents. Sleepless nights, fear of answering the phone or going to the mailbox, extreme fear for our children and the heavy costs (financial, emotional) of fighting for them. Wanting only what is best for our children - and knowing that if the best interest of the child would be considered this would never even be happening. Exactly. IMO - they DO NOT CARE about these children. IF they did we would not, and our children would not, be put through this. In my case it is bmom who does not visit, does not call, has NEVER asked how he is doing, yet keeps us in litigation. Yet WE fight, WE pay, WE suffer and our children suffer - and who looks out for our children? Apparently only US. Same here. She was invited over and over. She pushed for visitation and then failed to come both beofre and after. What is the point here? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And how many excuses are there for YEARS of failure to visit, failure to call, failure to even ask how these precious children are doing - but still wanting to do what? File in court? WHY??????? I GAVE the bmom unlimited visitation - she wanted more (an "Agreement"). I gave her that - she refused to visit. But she does still keep motions pending against us. I gave her the opportunity to discuss with several Child Psychologists who had seen us and our child (for FREE) to ask THEM how he is - she refused. Good grief - she does not even care how he is doing! EXACTLY!!! These are children who the courts treat like property - and they are NOT! I am still angry that no one in our cases but US seem to care about the best interest of these children. Josie, Stacy, daddysangel, Jaefer, MamaS, (and others going through this) - so many of us are suffering through this and I am personally grateful to each of you for your support and thank GOD that we have each other to lean on. The word PARENT may need to be defined for some:A PARENT is one who stays up all night with their sick child. A PARENT teaches their child right from wrong, kisses their boo-boos, takes them to the doctor, signs them up for Discovery Camp and such, takes them to the fair, loves them unconditionally and PUTS THEIR CHILD FIRST. If blood designated the word "parent" then adoptions would not exist. A FAMILY is not created from blood, but from years and years of caring. Even the people who fail to understand our situations and have compassion for these children can certainly understand the above clarified definitions. OK- this has gone on much longer than I had intended. Ignorance from others is difficult for me. I am so sad and so sorry for each of us. Know that I am HERE FOR EACH of YOU - in whatever way I can help. And THANK YOU for all of the support I have received. daddysangel - please let me know if there is any way I can help. God Bless...