I am an adult who was raised in an open adoption!!!

Ferney, I'm so sorry your experience has been so negative. If your read other threads, you will find a variety of different experiences. I am a birth mother from a closed adoption, so I can't begin to compare my experience to yours other than to say that since we've been in reunion, I believe, there's been a lot of respect for all sides. I don't expect D to call me mom. S, the woman who raised him is his mom. None of us is trying to force D to choose between us. That doesn't mean he hasn't had negative feeling about adoption or about me. Again, I do not presume to speak for him. It might be interesting to hear from people raised in closed adoptions. It sounds to me like you are "as sane as you are" because you were not raised with your siblings. You mother may have forced you to visit your biological family, but she apparently provided you with a stability that your other siblings didn't have. Whatever anyone (in either family - a or b) says, she is your mother. Your story is indeed a sad one. How do you think the person you are today has been strengthened by what you have been through? We can't change the past but it can inform our futures. (Notice I didn't say the past has to control our futures!) I hope that you will find support in these forums.