Needing to find my birth grandparents

If you have your Dad's name and date of birth, you can get his birth certificate. That should have your grandparents names on it. Be aware that searching without his knowledge may have ramifications in your relationship with him.

Okay...how do you obtain his original birth certificate? The one he has is modified, his real parents' names aren't on there.

Mytwoangels - have you asked your dad why he doesn't want you to know and or contact him? His reasoning may help determine whether or not you want to seach. DaughterofAdopted - does your dad want to find his bparents? Or does he know and not want to tell you?

My ex husband is an adoptee and a birthfather. When we were considering relinquishment, I asked him at that time if he wanted to find his bparents. He said no. He had no interest in who they were. He loved his parents very much and doesn't consider himself adopted. He later told me, that his aparents told him a little about his bparent. His mom was on drugs and in jail and had no clue who the father was. The state took him right away and placed him with catholic charities. He told me he had no interest in knowing someone like her. I know that sounds harsh and I reminded him that things could have changed over the years, but he still insisted that he did not want to search. Now almost 19 yrs later, our son has wanted to reunite. I have been in reunion with him for almost 1 year. My ex came to our initial reunion but does not wish to pursue any further relationship. I don't know why, he says he just doesn't feel any connection. I don't know if being an adoptee who doesn't wish to reunite has anything to do with the lack of emotion he has toward our son. I think it's sad. ---- There may be other reasons why your dad does not want to know his bparents. I think you should respect that decision. If you find them behind his back, they'll probably want to reunite with him. That could cause a lot of stress and mixed feelings for all parties.

As a birthmom, I would love to know my grandkids, even if their dad didn't want to reunite. I recognise that it's tricky, but it seems to me that children of adoptees can have the same need/desire to know their geneology/family medical history, etc. as their parents. I don't think that the "children" have the right to try to force the parent into a reunion, but I think they could look for their own sakes, making it clear to the bgrandparent that dad doesn't want a relationship but they do.

My bdad was adopted by his step father and knew his birthfather's name. Using that info, I was able to get a family history on that side without contacting any of his bfather's side directly ( I like to call it "stealth genealogy"). Maybe if you reassure them researching family doesnt mean contacting them.Mary

Kakuehl - My dad doesn't know his bio-parents/family, and has no interest in meeting/learning about them. He does know some non-identifying information - stuff I already know as well. Mlassi - that's exactly what I want to do...research my dad's family. Not meet them. Without him or them or anybody else knowing.

Do we ahve to know his birth name or his adopted name. cause he doens tknow either. it was a closed a dopted. How else can we find out this infor. and he doesnt want to know cause he was adopted . He has a lot anger in him of this but he does understand we kids want to find them

Bump... What info should we find out first and how?

I'm trying to help my DIL who is in a similar place. Her father was adopted but has less than zero interest in locating his biological family. We have been able to obtain his name from the OBC, along with the state he was born in. My DIL's main concern is a medical history. Her father has a rare disorder that the Drs are unable to identify. Now my DIL has been diagnosed with a possible brain aneurysm at 28 years old...very similar symptoms to what her dad is experiencing. I'm a search dummy. Even with the good info we have, I have no clue what to do. ~Deb

Deb - DIL should apply to the state to find out which county his adoption was through and then fill out a form to request the courts to open his files due to genetic medical problems.Dickons

Dickons ~ We actually have the city and county of birth, as well as the original birth name of her dad. The ironic thing (not so lucky in MY case) is that he was born in Ohio in 1951 and the records are OPEN! If she can file, that would be super. DIL had her first MRI today...EEG is scheduled for tomorrow. I advised her to talk to her dad one more time and tell him that due to the medical problems and the fact that she has children who may have inherited the same mysterious illness the two of them seemingly have, that it is important for her to get this info. She was hoping to get his approval but if not, she is telling him that she will go it alone. Hope the others here are able to find the info they need as well. Good luck to all! ~Deb

RiverGal - how was the original Birth Certificate obtained?

I don't know that there IS a copy of his OBC (he is very non-cooperative); however, we have the birth NAME that was on it. My guess is that there is a copy that was in his adoptive parents' file. DIL's mother is the one who gave us his birth name, city and county of birth, and SS number. Where she got it is yet to be known. Now she has "shut down" to keep peace. The whole thing infuriates me on many levels. I have 4 grandchildren that may well have inherited this brain disorder...it seems to manifest in adulthood. While I can understand his hesitation is having some intimate relationship with the birth family, there is a desperate need for medical information. When I find out more about how the info was obtained, I will let you know. Best of luck with finding info on your bio grandparents! ~Deb

I am in a similar situation. I am an adoptee and have recently reunited with my birth mother. She is still in contact with my birth father, who I have also had a few conversations with. It turns out that my birth father was adopted as well. I am interested in researching about his birth parents but am not sure how to go about it. He is not interested in searching - he knows his amom will be hurt and does not want to search while she is living. I know his name (adoptive name, not birth name) and his birthdate but nothing else. How can I go about finding geneaology information in this situation?