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So Thanksgiving was the first big test, and I was pleased at how well that went. I hosted 14 relatives including my adorable 4 and 5 year old nephews + 4 dogs (including 2 of my own) for the weekend, and didn't feel sad the whole time. Since everyone has left, however, I have been in a funk, and can't figure out how to get out of it. I think it has to do with the "all-Christmas-all-the-time" atmosphere that pops up immediately after Thanksgiving. I've always equated Christmas with kids, and this year it just seems sharper than ever. It didn't help when my brother called yesterday to suggest that our family do a gift exchange this year (with the kids getting presents from everyone), or just give presents to the kids. Now that he's a newly proud stepdad (married in Sept. to the mom of the 4 and 5 year old), I'm the only one in the family with no kids. I know it sounds bitter and selfish, but that really made me feel sad. Everyone else gets to beam with happiness and excitement as their kids giggle and open presents, and I get to sit with a fake smile plastered on my face and watch. I'm starting to feel really stressed out. . . I'm having weird dreams and am exhausted all the time. I usually love Christmas, but this year I'm having such a hard time. Am I the only one?
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I can imagine how you feel. For years I myself longed to have a child to love...and it is so painful. I was always the one surrounded by children but they were everyone else's...What you are feeling is perfectly normal and you have every right to have those feelings. Its so hard to keep everything inside and with the Holidays focused on children so much it just makes the heartache even more. You may know of my situation I am posting on the board all the time. The contested adoption for now 17 months. I always knew in my heart God had a child for us because God knew how much a child would mean to us. The day we were chosen as adoptive parents was the best day of our lives..Everyday we cherish and love our angel to pieces...but we unfortunately are not promised tomorrow...the not knowing what will happen next is the hardest...I know for me whenever I am feeling emotionally drained and just worried I turn to God and pray. St. Jude is the patron of hopeless cases, and through him we have gotten this far..so we continue to pray. We know the power of prayer.... Please as hard as it is don't give up....keep going you will find your angel. Pray for strength from God ...I know that is the only thing that is keeping us going day to day. God Bless:flowergift:
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I also hear that ALL the time.I asked a friend at work (with kids) what he had planed and he said Ahh I hate Christmas.He said it is all for the kids and I know I will be in debt afterwards.I told him "I disagree it is not all for the kids if you remember why you are celebrating" Jesus did not die on the cross just for the kids and so that parents can spend allot of money on gifts that the kids will have forgotten about by summer". Yes it does give me joy to see my girls come down the stairs all excited but they also understand that this holiday is Jesus's birthday and without faith in him all is impossible.So thank Santa for the gifts,But thank Jesus for Santa.Wish him a happy birthday and ask HIM what he needs on his day.Before we had kids we used to sleep in and then when we did get up sit and have a quite cup of coffee and praise his glory.I miss that sometimes.We still do it but the quite part is history.LOL.Trust in GOD and remember the true reason for the holiday :cake: and before you know it you will be doing this::laundry: and you will be sitting on Christmas morning trying to do this::coffee: While you wonder why Santa gave your kids this::rockband: . Then you will really have to remember why we celebrate the holiday and thank HIM for your blessings.GOD BLESS YOU and I hope that true joy will be in your heart this holiday season.
Thank you daddysangel for reminding all of us the true meaning of Christmas. Sometimes, I get so wrapped up in everything else I forget. I know that the holidays are especially hard for all of us on this thread. For those of us with contested adoptions, I don't know about you, but I am going to try hard to completely enjoy Christmas with my little ones and not think that my angel may not be here to celebrate with me next year. (I keep thinking of that lately and it is really bringing me down...) That is my goal for this month - to be thankful for all the time that I am given with this precious child. For those of you who have suffered failed adoptions, I have no words of advice. I do however have many hugs and prayers to send your way. The holidays are tough - there is no way around that. I wish that there were something I can say or do to make everyone have a wonderful holiday season. I am so thankful for all of you on this forum! You all have given me so much hope and inspiration to forge through these tough times and I hope that all of you truly have a wonderful Christmas. God Bless You,Jaefer:wings:
Being in a contested adoption I do also agree with you that we need to enjoy the holidays and our angels- If anything my little one just brings so much joy to us that our minds are just always with him. He has his own little personality now, and he makes us laugh all the time. I am just thankful for everyday he is still with us. Seeing his little smiling face is enough to keep us strong. Not one day is taken for granted...we have waited too long for an angel...and we are so very blessed!! For those of you with failed adoptions..my heart and prayers go out to you. I also thought maybe we would never be given the chance to adopt, but through years of prayers...one day out of nowhere when we least expected it....a wonderful and loving birth mom found us....and now has changed our lives completely...Once again we can spend our Christmas with our angel....There is no greater feeling in the world!!!:flowergift:
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