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Hello,my exgirlfriend is 3 months pregnant with our child,when she found out she was pregnant she seemed happy at first but then she decided she wanted to have an abortion..we have since split up and she was supposedly gonna abort the baby.but she has contacted me recently and said "she is to far along"(she was a month along when we split)and she wants to give our child to some familly she knows..I would like very much to have this child but she doesn't want me to have it..I also must say that I'm a father of 2 already and I have custody of them..but I'm already blessed with the 2 that I have and i do not know what to do??do I take her to court and fight for my rights as the father of this child or do I let her give him to a couple that wants to have a child of there own??
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john01
This child is yours and I guess you have to search your heart and ask yourself if you want to parent this child. As the birthfather, you have rights. If the mother does not want to parent then you are the logical and biological alternative.
I suggest you contact an attorney - find out what your options are - and then proceed in the way you see possible. Just because there is a prospective adoptive family willing to adopt, doesn't mean that you are not the best parent for this child.
Big decisions to be made!!
Ann
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The first thing I would do is find out what your rights are in your state. Also find out if you need to register with the state. Protect yourself in case you decide you want the baby. Also find out if there are laws on open adoptions.
I think with time you will know what you want. No one can answer the question for you. If you do decide you want to allow the child to be adopted - than insist on the fact that you want to be part of the selection of the family.
I am an adoptive mom - I should have told you that from the start. Sorry! I believe very strongly that you should have as much say in the selection of the family as your girlfriend. Oh and I am also a birthmom.
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john01
I would like very much to have this child but she doesn't want me to have it..I also must say that I'm a father of 2 already and I have custody of them..but I'm already blessed with the 2 that I have and i do not know what to do??do I take her to court and fight for my rights as the father of this child or do I let her give him to a couple that wants to have a child of there own??
You are this baby's father. You have a right to parent. It is not a matter of already being blessed with two other children, it is a matter of you being the parent you want to be. You need to get an attorney, and see if your state has a registry. Also, you need to start sending the mom some kind of financial support, and offer, in writing, other types of support (like help with transportation, going to doctor's visits, etc.)
What state are you in?
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john01
I'm in Mississippi,but she just lives over the line in Tennessee.
Look into registries in both states. Also see if the states have a Children's Ombudsman office. They should be able to help you.
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I read your post and if you want your baby then you need to do something now. As a hopeful adoptive mom to a beautiful 18 month old baby boy...I know first hand the heartache that comes with a contested adoption. For us, I wish with all my heart the birth father would have stepped up and told us from the beginning his plans. We were under the assumption that he wanted no parts of the baby. My advice to you is if you want this baby to step up now and let this hopeful adoptive parent's know of your choice. The birth father in our situation keeps wavering in his decision which is extremely unfair to everyone involved. Only you can make the choice if you want to parent, or not. I wish you peace in whatever choice you make.
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