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My baby is being adopted by my aunt and uncle. my family is very supportive of this, and so is the birthfather, but his family is completely against it. It doesn't make sense for them to be this way, because his mother was adopted in the first place. his grandparents are telling the birthfather things like "she's giving up this baby, she'll give up on you!" and "they [my aunt and uncle] are only getting this baby because agencies won't give them one--they're too old!"
my aunt and uncle have been trying to have children for 10 years, which includes fertility treatments and trying to adopt.
I'm just trying to understand why they would think this way. Do they think the baby is being "stolen" by my family and they'll never see her again?
Are they opposed to the adoption in general, or are they just opposed to having your aunt and uncle as the adoptive parents?
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It's just to my aunt and uncle adopting her. They said that if she goes to them, the birthfather's mother will have no part in her life--but if she went to a stranger she would have even less interaction, so them saying that doesn't make any sense.
Cherry, our situation is basically the opposite arrangement... My boyfriend's sister, her husband and their bio-daughter adopted our daughter a few months ago.
My parents were very upset because they feel like they are losing all chance to see their first grandchild. And feeling like they were the only ones really losing her(as in not having some other connection to her.) My father was entertaining several wild "conspiracy" theories, and I'm quite sure that they thought Jeff was going to walk out on me.
The comment about the birthfather's mother having no contact probably has more to do with the fact that one side of your baby's birthfamily (in this case yours) will almost automatically have contact. However the other side is "left out."
One thing that is helping my family deal is that I'm sending them updates and photos when we get them, keeping them up to date on the happenings. Eventually we're hoping to introduce my parents to the a-family, but we don't know when that might happen.
I wish you the best of luck.