Arnd » Adoption Community

February 7, 2014

My son whom I adopted from foster care (have had him since 2 weeks old) was born addicted to cocaine. His birth mom was a poly substance abuser, and although it was not noted in her information, I have no reason to believe that she did not also abuse alcohol. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and he also exhibits extreme temper tantrums which I am increasingly (and his counselor) inclined to believe is an alcohol related neurodevelopmental disorder. His counselor suggested that he be diagnosed since we have a national center for FAS in our own backyard. My question is: What is the benefit of having the diagnosis if there is nothing to be done about it aside from medication/behavioral strategies? My thinking is that having the diagnosis would further brand him as a "misfit" and contribute to an erosion of his self identity. He is already diagnosed with ADHD which has done enough to qualify him for special services. Any thoughts on this?

sak9645

February 24, 2014

Run -- don't walk -- TO the FAS center. You are very lucky to have one close to you. A good FAS center will not only help you determine whether your son was prenatally exposed to alcohol and whether he appears to have a neurodevelopmental disorder; it wil alsol help you learn to manage your son so as to enable him to achieve his full potential. There is some evidence that early diagnosis and early treatment can really help an alcohol-exposed child to function better.

As to being labeled a "misfit", your son will be labeled only by ignorant people who don't understand special needs -- and they will label almost anyone who doesn't fit their image of what a child should be like. If anything, getting a diagnosis and treatment plan early can help to make his special need less obvious and less likely to interfere with his ability to lead a productive life.

Sharon