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We are a large family having adopted seven children through the state and two bio children. With that being said, our *only* experience have been state adoptions.
My niece called and has an 18 year old friend that is pregnant. Her parents kicked her out telling her that her options are either an abortion or adoption. She knows that she definately doesn't want an abortion. Until she does one of their options, she is not allowed to return home. She is living with different people. She is due in September. I really feel for this girl and my niece will be having her call later. As much as we are looking to adopt, I really want this young lady to know what *all* her options are. I guess my question is what should I tell her? She hasn't been to an agency or anything yet. Obviously this isn't an area I know anything about. I do intend to give her this website information!
I am really looking for advice on what information I can give this young lady so that she can make an informative decision without any pressure. Would appreciate all comments!!! :)
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I recommend she visit her local Planned Parenthood office or Crisis Pregnancy Center where she might recieve some information on adoption and parenting (I know her family is not allowing her back in the house). She needs some unbiased counselling at this point to decide what option is best for her and her baby. She might decide that adoption is the right option or she might decide that there are lots of resources out there for her to successfully parent. Those organizations should be able to point her in the right direction.
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I don't know about where you are, but our county has a FANTASTIC teen parenting program that is being replicated all over the county. Ours is called Project Genesis, and it provides information and resources for all teen parents, whether they are pregnant or parenting, and whether or not they are planning on placing, aborting, or parenting. It's totally free and not affiliated with any agency.Our program is provided through the county Department of Health. You might have your niece's friend call both the Department of Health and the Department of Social Services, and see what they have to offer. She may be able to get housing, prenatal care, food from WIC, and lots of good referrals to other service providers.
Thanks Boulderbabe & taramayrn! I ended up going over to talk with her last night {per her request} and she came over today. She has gone back and forth with what option she wants and as for adoption, she originally wanted a closed adoption, but after I explained the different types of adoption {thanks to this website, I was better informed in that area}, she is looking at open. She keeps saying that she is too young to parent. I did tell her that she will get a lot of advice and comments from everyone and needs to do what is best for her without any pressure from others.
I did discuss with her the support that she could look into if she decided to parent. My niece was wrong in that she had already been to talk with an organization and they gave her some information. I asked her if there was counseling, too, and she said yes.
I feel strongly that things happen for a reason and am glad that I can at least offer to her what information is on this website. :)
Sounds like you handled all of that right. When we adopted our children. I insisted on talking to the birthmother. I wanted to make sure this is what SHE wanted to do. And not that she was pressured into it. I turned down 2 babies because the birth mother was being pushed to do it. It was not what she wanted. Hope everything works out well. We want one more baby! :o)
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