Advertisements
Hi, my DH and I adopted our 2 oldest sons out of foster care. They were in fc for about a year before we brought them home at ages 5 and 2 1/2. They are now 7 1/2 and 5. They are AA, and my husband and I are CC. I have a couple of questions. First, if you were adopted transracially, what did your adoptive families do to make your ethnicity important? Also, did your adoptive families have photos of your bparents in your home? If not, would you have wanted pictures of them displayed? I love my boys with all of my heart, and I know that we may have issues to deal with as they get older. I want to do everything that I can to make sure they are proud of who they are, and comfortable with how they came to our family.
Like
Share
We have photos of only two of our 4 adopted children's bio moms, and none of the bio dads. We have had these photos 'on display' only in the child's room after a discussion about it with the child (who has no memory of living with bio mom), and we actually ended up moving the picture to a photo album to keep it from getting knocked around. (Kids being rambunctious, not malicious.) One bit of advice that was given on one of the forums was to copy any photos you have so that you have extras if one gets damaged. I'm glad I did as the one in the photo frame got a small tear on it. This could have been very upsetting if it was the only copy.I think it depends on the child and their emotional state at any given time. Sometimes it may be too emotionally stressful to have a photo on display at all times. Other times it may fill that space that they're thinking about. We've kind of played it by ear, and the needs for different things waxes and wanes with the years. Ds used to have a fantasy life he'd imagined about his bio family (mainly bio mom) and we've quietly a little at a time talked about the facts and the imagined aspects. This will be an ongoing conversation, until one or the other of us dies, I suppose. There will always be some aspect to discuss.Hope this helps.
Advertisements