Advertisements
Advertisements
Next month my case will be ongoing for five years.
We were there at the birth and brought him home from the hospital. There was an arduous search for birthfather whom we did find and he signed. Birthmom signed a consent, withdrew consent, signed another consent, said she wanted visitation, did not visit (rarely until it stopped altogether well over a year ago). She used the visitation "Agreement" to file against us repeatedly. We are still in litigation.
My first lawyer laughed so hard at her withdrawal of censent that he apologized to me. He said it was so ludicrous not to worry about it. We went to "court" (kangaroo court) and it was so bad that my lawyer said he couldn't believe it. Fired him.
In all, I have hired five and fired four lawyers. I give them the history, they assure me that it is all nonsense and that they can "fix" it. Between outlandish motions and hearings they have all acted flabbergasted and like they couldn't believe it and told me there was nothing more they could do. So I would fire them.
Now I have yet another lawyer who promised me, after I had given him the background and showed him the evidence, who said to me "Look at me, Christie, with the tears in your eyes. I promise I WILL get this taken care of." I told him I had heard that before and did not believe it and he said, "Well, you can believe me."
Now he has said he does not understand why things are not coming together like they are supposed to. He said he can not force the judge to do anything, her lawyers are not cooperating, and he can't believe this is happening.
I blew a fuse. I asked him how he could be confused when I had told him all of this before I paid the retainer? I told him this is the way it has gone for years and that I had given him proof.
Every lawyer. Every time. Is this just what they all do? Or is my case so messed up that each of them truly believes they can fix it? Or do they just say anything to get the case and the money, knowing full well this is how it works? Are they ALL part of this?
Have any of you had this experience?
Is this just the way it works?
Will I EVER be set free from the courts?
ChristieS
Like
Share
Christie: I can only suggest one possible legal avenue. Does this judge have either a law firm -- like " Smith, Jones and Judge" or does he have a son who is also a lawyer? If there is either, hire them. If not, research the judge. Before he was a judge, was he in a law firm. If so, hire his former partner. Either he will expedite your case, or he will have to recuse himself for conflict of interest.
Like
Share
Advertisements
Christie,
When we went into the appeals court the judge asked our lawyer if he knew why the lower court ruled like he did(by the way going on 4 yrs here and this is the first time we saw our lawyer in front of a judge).
He threw his hands up in the air and said "No I do not your honor,I have no idea how an opposing side can file NO depositions,NO motions,No paperwork in response to our motions and not show up and still WIN".
I believe he was sincere.
I think he is just as surprised as we are and gets lost in what to do next because he has never had this happen.
He told us once " It is very diffucult to fight an opposing side when you have no idea what they are after and what their reasons are for it and they never show up for me to ask".
So I think he knows the court has screwed up and is probably hoping the appeals court will fix it.
I also believe he cares about our angel and will not allow her to be uprooted without exhausting every possible avenue.
Good Luck
Like
Share
I feel the same way you do at times with attorneys. The only reason I think sometimes I have not switched is due to the fact of the money. Basically all my attorney says to me its up to a judge. Even when I stated the State Statue. I was still told by my attorney it depends on the judge. How can that be? It is extremely confusing to me. So basically our future for our son depends on this judge. It is the most scariest thing that anyone can go through. I feel for you and honestly feel the judge in your case should have put a stop to this a long time ago. I fear for the decisions some judge's make. I just hope to God that we can all find peace...My heart goes out to you. I pray for you and your family everytime I pray for us and our situation. I think it is pathetic that a judge would allow this birth mom to put everyone through all this for so long, and to hurt that poor innocent angel..angers me the most. I wish you could get another judge - because its so apparent the best interest of the child is just pushed away in your case. I just feel this will have to end soon for you, I cannot imagine this to just keep continuing...my prayers are with you!
Like
Share
Christie,
I don't know if all atty's are this way...all I can go on is the one in our case and I can say I am sure he was QUITE happy that our case dragged on for so long.
I can also tell you he nickel and dimed us TO DEATH. Now before anyone argues, well atty's have to account for every minute, penny etc. let me explain.
Here's what ours did: while we were waiting for ICPC to clear and staying in the hotel, guess what he did? He called my cell 1st-AND CHARGED LONG DISTANCE-and for his time. Then he called DH's cell and did the same thing, charged for his time AND long distance (mind you, we're in the same city at this point, but our cell numbers are, of course long distance).
He THEN called the hotel and got a hold of us.
He then proceeded to do this over the course of the case. Call cells 1st, THEN home under the premise that "he thought he could get in touch with us quicker by cell".
We were also charged for the phone call they made telling us that we "won". Doncha think ya MIGHT do that one for free? Jeesh.
So I am very biased. I just hope someone sees the light in your case VERY soon.
Like
Share
MamaS
Christie: I can only suggest one possible legal avenue. Does this judge have either a law firm -- like " Smith, Jones and Judge" or does he have a son who is also a lawyer? If there is either, hire them. If not, research the judge. Before he was a judge, was he in a law firm. If so, hire his former partner. Either he will expedite your case, or he will have to recuse himself for conflict of interest.
This isn't a bad idea, actually. Most district judges wouldn't also be allowed to practice simultaneously, but some "special" or appointed judges may be allowed to practice. If it's the judge that's the problem here, perhaps a recusal is in your best interest (though it may cause another delay.)
It probably doesn't help at this point, but it really may not be the fault of your attorneys. There are times when you get a result that is contrary to precedent and to the intent of a statute (and even state statutes are subject to the judge's interpretation of them in light of the facts of a case, to answer the question about why it's up to a judge.) I think those unreasonable results occur more often either when you have an unrepresented or an underrepresented person on the other side of a dispute. It's much harder to reach a good result if the judge is bending over backwards to compensate for incompetent or absent counsel on the other side.
I sure hope you get a break soon---I just cannot imagine how frustrated you are.
Like
Share
Advertisements
StacyKelly2
Basically all my attorney says to me its up to a judge. Even when I stated the State Statue. I was still told by my attorney it depends on the judge. How can that be?
This has been the case for me as well, and is most confusing.
HBV said
HBV
and even state statutes are subject to the judge's interpretation of them in light of the facts of a case, to answer the question about why it's up to a judge
And this coincides with what I have been told, and with what has transpired in my case.
So.... why do we have statutes, codes, laws, when the judge can abide by them or not? What is the point? daddysangel has experienced the same as well.
It is shocking to me to discover that judges can disconsider, interpret, and ignore at will the very aspects of our legal system meant to protect us.
MamaS - my judge is a district judge and has no law firm, nor any specific association as far as I know which would qualify for his recusal.
HBV
I think those unreasonable results occur more often either when you have an unrepresented or an underrepresented person on the other side of a dispute. It's much harder to reach a good result if the judge is bending over backwards to compensate for incompetent or absent counsel on the other side.
In my case the birthmother has 5 (yes, FIVE) lawyers working for her all assigned and paid for by the state. I think she has more than ample representation and the judge is bending over backward to make sure she has plenty of competent and present counsel. *If only I were so lucky to have all these free lawyers.*
sadiegirl - I agree. I believe the lawyers LOVE to have these cases drag on and on. The state-paid-for-lawyers (HERS) and all the ones I have hired, they have certainly made the money. The only one who loses here is my child. I have to work extra in order to pay for associated fees. She is not working and gets more legal representation than me and my son. Everyone wins except my child.
Most disturbing to me is the realization that apparently the laws, codes, statutes, they mean nothing. I naively believed, prior to this, that laws meant something. They don't. We live in an Oligarchy and I wonder why my husband spent so long fighting overseas for rights we don't really have.
If the laws had been followed in my case then this would have ended long ago.
I am disenchanted, disheartened, greatly disturbed by the United States "Judicial" System.
Like
Share
Oh, Christie, I am SO WITH YOU on feeling disturbed by the United States Judicial System. We learned the same thing in our contested adoption - that depending on the county, the judge -- things could be interpretted very differently. Thank goodness our magistrate really cared about our case and gave it LOTS OF HIS TIME and came to the conclusions he did, then turned it over to the head judge in our county with a recommendation in our favor. And then the head judge also did what was best for our child (and, fortunately for us also). With the shootings yesterday at Virginia Tech I am sickened that in a country that should be so strong because of so many different cultures "melting" together here, so many resources, so many ways of thinking that should bring us together, still, this is what continues to happen. And it will get worse because there are MORE AND MORE HURT CHILDREN being neglected, being abused, being angry, and who do you think they will take that anger out on? It is deeply disturbing and deserves our prayers and attention. Unfortunately, there are judges who just do not care.
Like
Share