need some sound advice

Maybe you can look at it as the start of something. You are beginning to build a relationship with your daughter and her family that will last a lifetime. So what if you cry? It will hurt, but you will also gain something from it. I have been there. And I don't regret any of the time I spent with my son, as hard as it was. I do regret passing by opportunities.

Krystal, I placed my dd in November and at placement was told that it would be a possibility to arrange visits through the sw...its May and I haven't seen my daughter since she was in the hospital...her amom isn't ready for a visit yet, but we're hoping for June or July. Part of her (a)moms fear of having a visit is that it WILL be too hard on me. I do not like having that decision made for me, and realize that no matter what time I see my daughter again it will be hard, but it WILL be worth it. That is just me though, you have to make the decision that is best for you. I hope you find what you are looking for :love: Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk

Hi, Big Hugs, now is a very tough time. I would recommended getting some books. There are some great books for helping birth moms get through these first years. Have a search on the internet or with amazon. I would recommend visiting your daughter as much as you can. I used to visit my son may times throughout the year, but because I live so far away, now I get to visit him every year or two and I miss him so much! He doesn't recognize me or remember me, which was really hard. I think you will get great satisfaction from seeing her grow healthy and strong. You may have fears and doubts, that is normal. Take advantage of seeing your daughter. Most birthmoms don't get that opportunity! And I think if you don't go and see her you will regret it later. Don't feel like you are alone, this forum has helped me with a lot of things. Have you had a grieving ceremony with your friends and family? That is really important, you need to say goodbye to your baby properly or it will come back and haunt you. One of the books I read recommends that we should have a little ritual or something once a year in rememberance of our babies. It's so hard to come to terms with the loss. You may seem and feel fine for years, and then bang, it all hits you! Definately read some books! If you are still in doubt about the adoption then you still have time to make a change. Don't feel pressured into making this huge decision, make sure it is yours, and yours alone, or else you will regret it later in life and blaim other people for your sorrow and situation! That's what happened to me. Be sure this is really what you want! Good Luck!

Krystabelle... First off congratulations on the birth of your daughter! The first few weeks and months are so hard. Emotions are so fresh, but that's okay. Feel those emotions, cry if you need to. That's how I got through. Personally I needed a visit soon after my baby was born, so I could see him in his family. It was hard to leave, but it was a very positive experience. ((((HUGS))))

This has absolutely been my decision. I waivered before when I was 4 months pregnant and the man I thought was her father convinced me he wanted to work things out and raise her jointly but not together. After coming to the realization that he was not responsible or ready to become a father, I understood that it was something I could not do on my own. I didn't have the resources and I wanted my child to have both a mother and a father. That and I could prevent the possible birthfather from having the kind of influence on my child's life that I believed would be extremely harmful. The parents to my lovely daughter are amazing people. I fell in love with them when I first met them. By no means are they perfect, but I trust them and know that they love my daughter so incredibly much. Besides that, I've already signed the necessary relinquishments and they are final. What was so odd was that signing wasn't hard. The day before when her parents took her home was much harder. I need to call my attorney today and see if a hearing has been set yet. I'm still waiting for it to be official and preparing for how that may make me feel.