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We just found out the pbm we were working with is in contact with several agencies.
Her story changes from agency to agency.
She has received financial help from many sources while saying she is only working with one.
She said she was with her DH at a hospital that doesn't even exist.
We had a failed placement in Sept. '05.
I was present at the birth, cut the cord, gave first feeding & first bath. Bonded with PBM and her family.
We bonded with her for one week and then my DH had to physically take her from my arms to bring her to her birthmom. All because the birthdad changed his mind about signing the papers.
Our prior agency is being investigated by the state for our they handled our situation.
They were very unethical to say the least.
We have now had 7 failed possible situations.
We are on our second agency and looking at possibly networking with an additional facilitator to increase our chances of being picked by a legitimate person.
This is a very discouraging process. We never thought domestic adoption would take 2.5+ years.
I wish everyone much more luck than we have had.
Karen
My heart goes out to you - I cannot imagine handing back a baby, the heartache you must suffer. 7 failed possible situations is just sad. For us, we waited years, and years. Not having enough money to go to an agency but desperately trying to save and adopt some day. Going to foster care meetings in our state only to be discouraged of an actual adoption for a child infant to 5. I cannot tell you the nights of crying..and just being so broken hearted. Spending almost every lunch hour looking for an adoption situation we could afford. All our family and friends knew how much we wanted to adopt. There were a couple of situations through friends, but nothing ever happened. I just always kept up the faith believing in my heart God would someday send us an angel. I prayed all the time...Even hearing of a situation would get me so excited and I would be so hopeful..and then it would not happen. Then one day out of the blue...through friends of my mom's - I was given an actual phone number of a birth mom interested in us...I cannot tell you the sheer joy I immediately got in my heart..That phone call changed our lives forever!!! We are currently in a contested adoption, but we have had our angel from birth to now 2 years..We continue to pray that everything will be okay. My advice to you is don't give up..I know its hard. Adoption is an emotional roller coaster, and every adoption is at risk..you just never know. Someone asked me would I ever go through and try adoption..My answer was quickly "YES"!! Hearing the words mommy and daddy is the best feeling in the world!! Have faith and I know its hard..but never give up. Get the word out there to everyone you want to adopt. We never dreamed that through friends of friends we would met a birth mom. I know God allowed our paths to cross for a reason. Keep your faith and pray...I hope soon you will be blessed with an angel.:flowergift:
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Thank you so much for your words of support!!
We will not give up on our dream of being Mommy & Daddy.
Everyone we meet knows we are in process of adoption.
I hope everything works out well for you.
Thanks again.
kma_0911,
I am so sorry for your heartache. I, too, remember the pain of wanting a child so much; of trying so hard through years of infertility treatments; of possible situations and my broken heart; of watching pregnant women just walk around like it was nothing.
For me, as much as I wanted to just give up sometimes, because it was so hard, it was even harder wanting a child so badly and knowing my heart had so much love and felt so empty without a child.
Since the day I brought my son home my heart felt so complete. My love was endless. My son has had some problems but my love for him was so great that I delighted in the opportunity to raise him, felt so blessed just to be able to parent this sweet baby - I actually thanked God for the blessing and opportunity to raise a child. For his problems - bless his sweet little heart - I felt honored to have the opportunity to go through the very hard times with him and help him and love him.
My son will turn 5 years old this month and we are still in adoption litigation. I could never have imagined that the pain and fear of losing him - present every day - would be even harder than the pain I felt in wanting a child.
StacyKelly2
Someone asked me would I ever go through and try adoption..My answer was quickly "YES"!! Hearing the words mommy and daddy is the best feeling in the world!!
StacyKelly2 - are you saying you want to adopt again? WOW! For me I can't imagine it. For a long time I thought I would definitely do it again as soon as this adoption was completed. But 5 years and still no resolution has depleted me of the financial and emotional resolve to ever chance it again. So I am sort of going through the grief phase again in letting go of the possibility of another adoption.
kma_0911 - again, I am so sorry. All I can say is that knowing the emptiness in my heart, and then finally getting the blessing of a child - a child with special needs who came into my family which was exactly the type of family needed for him and his needs - that does make me believe that this child has been carefully watched from above to ensure he went into the right family.
kma_0911 - there is a child out there which maybe hasn't been born yet - who will need just what YOU have to offer; and I hope and pray for you to be able to find the strength to continue on until circumstances prevail for the child to be born and with a greater power then us will be blessed with you, and you will be blessed with that child.
{HUGS}:grouphug:
Hang in there and keep us posted. It is hard but we can help each other through it.
ChristieS
Christie -
Thank you so much for your insight.
My DH and I always seem to bounce back.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm really sorry to hear that. The pbmom we were working with earlier was also working with several different agencies/facilitators & running a scam. It sounds like a similar situation. We felt extremely betrayed. Hang in there. :grouphug:
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