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I'm not even sure where to begin. I am 34 and just at the front of what looks like its going to be a very long process. I have identified a 12y b who is in another state. He is one of 6 children a friend of mine has given birth to. He is also one of 5 she no longer has any parental rights to. I have contacted the state and begun the process to adopt him. He has RAD and a host of other issues. I have received the intial paperwork and am looking for advice on what to expect from the home studies and how to fill out the paperwork so I don't mess it up. HELP!!! I want to give this kid a better life than he's had before.
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Another single parent here. Welcome. The homestudy looks at your life - basically. At least that is what the one in MN did. Can you take care of the child, what are your discipline tech., support system etc. It should be combined with the interstate compact that needs to be done for children to be adopted across state lines. So, you only have to do the paperwork once. But again I can only speak for MN and somewhat of Texas where my boys came from. PM me if you have other questions or just looking to vent to some one who has been there. Both my boys are RAD as well. So, lots of experience with that.
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The homestudy is the beginning of a process that can take 1-6 months. The homestudy will look at everything in your life and I do mean everything. They will want to know about the support system you have. Things like relationships with extended family and friends are important. They will want to know about your ties with doctors, dentists, school officials, and therapeutic supports. They will want to know about your finances, living conditions, and how you will support your child(ren). They will want references. When you pick your references, select ones that will respond in a timely manner. This is usually one of the holdups in approval. You may need an FBI background check. They will do a walk through of your house, checking where you keep chemicals and where your child will sleep and the like.
You may have to attend a series of classes that cover everything from first aid to dealing with abuse and neglect. You will want to read everything you can find on RAD. There are varying levels and it can be devastating to both the child and the parent. You could go visit the special needs board here at a.com
[url]http://forums.adoption.com/special-needs-adoption/[/url]
There are lots of stories there about RAD...both good and bad. It would be very advisable to "talk" to people that have BTDT to help you.
Personally, only one of my sons was diagnosed with RAD. More of them probably should have had the diagnosis.
ICPC is another beast. It is getting better, as the federal government stepped in and offered "reward" money for turning the cases around faster. It use to take 3-6 months to get a case through. I have seen improvement in turn around time.
Good luck to you as you start your journey to being a parent. We are here to listen to you vent.