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This is really long, and I typed it in another forum already, so I'm gonna copy and paste here. Sorry to anyone who gets a little confused, 6 kids involved does taht. lol. Ok, here goes:
In October of 2005 my in-laws brought my SIL, her 5 kids, and her lame *** good for nothing excuse of a BF that she had been with for 3 months, down to FL, from SC. It wasn't until recently that I found out WHY they left to get them in the middle of this night, and had them here within 2 days, including packing up and moving stuff- they were under a serious investigation with the Department of Social Services (DSS) due to some reports from teachers, bus drivers, librarians, etc. at the kids school. So they packed them up and brought them here, Not sure taht was smart, but they reported in when they got here, and didn't get investigated for a while.
Then one day when my husband and I were going to go visit (they were living with my in-laws) we got to the house and there were 3 cop cars in the front of the house. My husband was on probation at the time, so we kept driving, and called from around the corner. My MIL said it was ok, so we went ahead to the house. Someone had reported that the children were being abused. (To this day, I don't know who, but I think that it was a teacher from their school. I think one of the 2 older kids told them some things that were going on.) One of my nephews had belt marks across his entire back, and there were stud marks in the belt marks. One of them had a bruise in what was very close to the shape- and size- of my SIL's BF's hand. My neice was scraed to death of him, and wouldn't tell us why. Anyway, police statements were taken from each of the kids, but while one at a time was being interviewed, they were in with HIM, and their mother. I heard him make a few comments to the kids under his breath, and he had a very frightening look on his face. I do NOT know what he said. A worked for the Department of Children and Families (DCF) came and took pictures of the kids, especially the belt marks and bruises, but also of any minor mark. I think my youngest had a black eye that everyone CLAMIED was from his brother, but not sure, I wasn't there. Anyway, my niece and oldest nephew got sent with us for a couple of days. We ould rop them off at school and pick them up, and they got to see their brothers there. I think my SIL and her BF wanted them away from my in-laws, and vice-versa. My FIL was the one who urged the kids to report ANYTHING that they were worried or scared about to their teachers, and I couldn't agree more.
A few nights after we took them back over, there was a big fight at the house. Let me go back a little, and tell you how many people were in this house... There were my in-laws, my FIL's elderly mother, and now my SIL, her BF, my niece, and my 4 nephews. My SIL had also told us at this point that she was pregnant. again. :( My MIL and my SIL's BF were always having words, and we didn't like hime, either. he even told us when we first met that he was "just along for the ride." My SIL met him through a cousin (a 15 y/o cousin) who had met him online, using my SIL's picture. He told her cousin that she was too fat, but he would "tap that" talking about my SIL. Apparently my SIL finds this a compliment, because she let him MOVE IN with her and her children about a week later. Her live-in BF, and the best thing that ever happened to her and the kids, was out of town, and he was just a teensy weensy biut pissed when he came home AND CAUGHT THEM in bed together- with the door to the room OPEN and all the kids home. He did a number to the house, and left. (He has called my husband many times to find out how the kids are. He loves them like a father would.) Anyway, back on track, her BF was making rude comments to my MIL all night, under his breath so no one else heard, and she finally had enough, and turned around and just yelled at him for like 5 minutes. My SIL then proceeded- in front of the kids, mind you!- to ATTACK her mother. WTF?!?!? My FIL's mother stepped in (80 something y/o 75 pounds, and 5 foot nothing, with cancer to boot) and tried to break it up, but my SIL's BF turned to hit HER. My FIL stepped in just in time, and got hit in the bad neck. (He fell off of a 2 story building about 4 years ago while roofing, and is like an old man now- he broke parts of his spine and neck in the fall) He wound up having to do the ol' "grab and twist" on this guy, and all the while, her BF is telling the kids "Look at what your grandparents are doing to us, look at them!" My FIL's mother was hitting him over the head with a wooden spoon. lol. Well, her BF pulled a bowie knife on them all, and backed himself, my SIL, and the kids all into the room they were sleeping in, and locked the door. My FIL went and got a golf club, just in case he tried anything with the knife, but realized a few minutes later that there was NO noise coming from the room. He went outside to look in the window, and saw that their car was gone, and that the window had been kicked out. They had loaded the kids up- none of them even had shoes on, and 2 boys didn't have shirts, even, and taken off. <y FIL called the cops, and did taht whole bit, blah blah blah. They didnt' call us and tell us what happened.
My SIL called us about half an hour after everything went down, and asked if the cops had come by. I had seen a cop drive down our road, which isn't normal, and told her that. (I guess since the car wasn't there, they didn't stop, or else it was just coincidental.) Anyway, she asked if she could stay there for the night. We were living with MY parents at the time, so it wasn't really something taht we could do, just let them stay and all, especially HIM. So we payed for a room for them for the night, and helped them get there and settled ok. None of the kids were "allowed" to stay the night with us- he wanted them all together "so they could talk about how bad it was, and figure out their plan of action." They were in a 2 bed motel room with no food, no clothes, and no money. And you aren't gonna let someone else take one or 2 of the kids off of your hands for a night to make your life just a bit easier? Whatever dude. Anyway, next morning, we picked them up and went somewhere to figure out what to do. My DH and her BF went out applying for jobs. I was having problems with my pregnancy, and had just stopped working right after Halloween. (This was about a week before Thanksgiving) So my SIL and I took the kids for the day and made the plan of action. My husband and her BF both managed to get jobs at the same place, so that they could carpool. (This was DH's SECOND job)
My SIL and all the kids and her BF were at our house, and went to my in-laws to get some stuff. It was only supposed to be my DH and SIL; her BF, the kids and I were to stay at our house, and wait for them. He didn't stay. While I took my niece inside the the restroom, he went with tem, against my husband's better judgement. My in laws were actually willing to let them come back Then and there, that night. Until he had to go and be an idiot and ATTACK MY MIL. (What is this dude's issue?!?!)
So anyway, I had found a decent motel for them, with a fridge and microwave, and walking distance to school, and got them set up for a week there. I also drove them to the school and we enrolled the kids- with me as the emergency contact. Anyway, things were ok for a couple of weeks. My in-laws missed the kids dearly, and even called us crying about it a few times.
Then the school called me one day. The kids had missed 6 days in a row. WTF?!?!? So I drive to the motel, and there she is, watching tv in her pj's, the kids running around playing. Junk food everywhere, no real food. We had brought there clothes from my in-laws, and they were all over the place. The kids were jumping all over the beds, the covers were thrown all over, and she was just ignoring them. So I got the kids dressed and took them to school, and after, went back to talk to her. I took her out to apply for jobs, and she got one and worked for like, 3 days, and then un-enrolled the youngest (5 y/o, not required by law to be in school yet) and quit, using him as the excuse. They kept that up for a while, and started getting investigated again. I'm asuming either missing so much school, the kids reporting to teachers, or a combination.
Then one day my niece told me about what waws going on in the motel room when we weren't there.
Sil's BF was walking around in HER underwear, in front of the kids. He wasn't buying food with the food stamps, he would buy himself a nice lunch at the store while working, and bring them leftovers and junk food and soda, they took away the toothpaste "so that the little one's didn't eat any" he was hurting their mom, he was hurting her, he was showering with the boys, he had gone skinny dipping with one of the boys, several times, and he made the kids line up, noses to the wall, while he had his way with their mother. There were a few other things, but nothing that I was as concerned with as those. My husband doesn't know this, but I called and reported this to the DCF. I said NOTHING about my SIL in the report. I honestly don't know if ANYTHING came of my report. :(
about a week after Christmas (and we spent A LOT of money on them for Christmas!) they had to leave the motel, since the idiot had quit his job 2 weeks prior! (once again, WTF?!?!?!) They didn't tell us this, though, No, he said that he got fired. (My husband talked to the boss later, and was told that he had quit on his own.) Then ,they made it look like he had just taken off with the car and everything they had. (I think he pawned some of it off) My SIL calls us, crying, and sayd that he left, with all their stuff, can we help her. So what do we do? We help her. We take her back to my in-laws house (we were BROKE) and they let her stay, being the good hearted people that they are. We talked to her for a long time that night, and she told us that he was good for nothing, she doesn't know what she ever saw in him, blah blah blah. We believed her. Oops. I found out the next day from the kids that he was coming back for them, that is was just a scam. They had also let it slip to my in-laws. My FIL confronted her about it, and she came clean. He lost in then. He had been so cool and collcted the whole time, but now he lost it. He broke a tv and a few other things, and told my MIL that she had better take the kids to the police station or DCF or something herself, or we would never see the kids again. My SIL was kicked out, and of course, she took the kids with her. My MIL drove around for 2 hours trying to find a shelter that they coud stay at, but everywhere told her that they were beyond capacity already. The police even turned them away. (It was New Year's Eve, btw) She wound up leaving them at a church, hoping that the church people would take pity on them in the morning. My FIL refused to let my SIL come back. (A few hours later he told her to go get the, but we already had.) We spent the lst money that we had, a jar full of change, to pay for a motel room for them for the night. My husband left work to pick them up when she called. He worked as a delivery driver for Pizza Hut at the time, and I was having problems with my pregnancy, so I rode around with him fairly often. This was one of those nights. he dropped off the order he had, and we had to go find them, because she didn't know where she was. Neither did my MIL. (Don't ask, I don't know. lol. She dropped them off) We found them huddled against a stairwell, cuz it was drizzling and they were cold, and getting wet. We loaded them up into our SUV (5 seats in it. whew.) we had kids in our laps, and kids in kids laps. We took them to a really cheap motel and on the way, got pulled over. We somehow got the nmicest cop in town, because he didn't ticket us after hearing the story. Instead, he ESCORTED us to the motel, so that we didn't get pulled over by anyone else! We counted out $60 for a 2 night stay, and my husband and I left to go back to work. He finished up the night, and then his manager (AWESOME MAN!) made him 6 pizzas to take to my SIL. We went back to the motel room, and fed them and I bathed the little kids and got them all to bed.
Next morning, we went back to check on the, my mom had stayed up all night making the kids felt scarves, so we took them to them, and took them some food. (He had taken the food stamp card. jerk) Her BF showed up a few hours later, so we stayed away. Next morning, since he had no $ for another night, they were gonna sleep in the car. My husband had said his goodbye's to the kids already, and didnt' want to get his heart broken anymore, so he wouldn't have anything to do with his sister at that point. She did ask if 2 of the kids could stay with my in-laws until they found somewhere and got settled. To this day we all say that we wish they had let them stay. We might have gotten all of them back down here by now. Anyway, I let them park in our driveway, and sleep between our SUV and their car, so they weren't AS crowded. (Her BF woudn't let any of the kids sleep in the house. This guy is a real winner, huh?) So next morning, I ask what's going on. They tell me they are going to Louisianna, where he has family. I feed the kids bananas for breakfast, and I make them sandwixhes for the road out of lunch meat and hot dog buns. I had NO money at this point, I was using whatever I could find. I also gave my SIL a gift card for McDonald's that I had, so hopefully they could eat twice on the way. I gave her a scrapbook with some beautiful pictures that I had stayed up all night working on, and made sure she had our phone number and address, and to call whenever they got there. The last thing I did after kissing and hugging all the kids and my SIL, was point to her BF with a dead-set look on my face, and tell him take care of my family, or I would ahve to get him.
I owe him a getin'.
We didn't hear from them for 2 months. Had no idea where they were, or if they were even still alive. I know that's horrible, but things were running through our minds at a million miles a minute. What had he done to them? Finally, one day our phone rings, and it says "Anderson County Dept of Co" -the caller ID was out of room after that. So I answered it, Anderson is part of SC where my husbands father sometimes stays. (His real dad) It was my SIL. Calling from jail. I couldn't even tell my husband what she was saying, I was already crying too hard. He had to take the phone from me. They had gotten halfwa to LA and his dad had called him and called him every name in the book and told him if he showed up there, he would shoot him. (Apparently we aren't the only people this guy has pissed off, huh?) So they went back to SC, where they had started off in the first place. They had been arrested tehre after a DSS worked caught up with them at home and tried to follow up on the investigation, and saw that there was no food, no beds, and the kids had welts, bruises, and belt marks from a belt with studs. The kids didn't even get to pack their clothes, they were taken then and there. My SIL and her BF were left, but arrested a month later for failure to be at a court date. I have looked up the public record of the BF, and there are 7 of these: CHILDREN / LEGAL CUSTODIAN, UNLAWFUL N . There are also 5 other, older charges, which he had been on probation for, and in leaving SC the first time violated probabtion. Anyway, the kids had told quite a bit about him, and I guess about there mom. They got put in jail, and my SIL got out about 2 months later, in May. She had a little girl in July, but they took her away when she was a day old.
I'll hurry it up now, I'm sure you are tired of this novel at this point.
The kids are in 3 separate homes- the baby is alone with a family. The 3 little boys are with a family. The 2 oldest are in a "group home" which back in the day was just called an orphanage. My SIL stil has her rights, but is going to lose them. She doesn't work, she skips court dates and visitations, she doesn't pay child support, hasn't follewed any of the rules, and is even still visiting this guy in prison. She asked us for money to go see the kids the other day, but that was at 3:45, and they close the visiting center at 5. It's 4 hours away from her. She would make that, right? And the money we wired would just appear within seconds, right? right. So we didn't send it, and she hasn't talked to us since. I have sent 2 emails tonight/this morning- one to SC DSS, and one to FL DCF. I asked what to do to get them down here with us and my in-laws, what to do about my SIL, and everything else. I just don't know what else to do. She hersels has said she's gonna lose them, and I don't want them to just get adopted out to someone. Does anyone have any experience with this? Are there any case workers on here? Someone? Please help, we are heartbroken and angry, and just want the kids to come back so we can take care of them. My in-laws will take some, and we will take some. We are willing to move wherever we need to, get second jobs if we need to, and do whatever else we need to. Please help. I'm so frustrated and lost, and I'm really getting scared about their futures.
Thank you all for reading this, and especially thanks for ANY advice you may have. Any lawyers need some pro-bono work? lol. Thanks ladies.
Just a side note- my niece was molested my the boys' father, and has told several people- her mother refused to believe her (she was 5 and gave serious details, she's not lying) and her BF (this one) got one of the boys drunk and touched him. She refused to believe that, too. The 2 middle kids have (supposedly) been diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy and were given 8 to 10 years to live. I don't knwo oif any of that is importnant or not, just thought I'd add, in case it was. Thanks again for your time.
An added note, after the original was typed a couple of weeks ago- my sister in law has moved into a small house with her newest BF, and 5 OTHER people. I know that at least one is a drug addict, he is her cousin, and my husband confirmed the addiction. She has started working at some Dollar Store up there, for a whopping $6 an hour at about 20 hours a week, and last week was in the car with "friends" and they were pulled over. Guess what...she had marijuana on her. She claims she has a court date coming up for the baby, but it's before the court date for the drugs, so I doubt she will get her back, based on that alone, but also on the 6 roommates, bad job, etc.
Thanks to ANYONE who has read this far, and especially if you reply, and even more thanks if you give advice! lol. I just don't know what to do. We would like to get them out of foster care, because as awesome as it is that there are people who will take on other people's responsibilities and children, we are here and willing to take them ourselves. Oh, one more note- I called the case worker who is assigned to the case, but didn't get an answer. I left a message, but haven't heard back yet. Will she even be able to tell me anything besides "Get a lawyer" Thanks guys!
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Wow. I gotta tell you that you and your in laws are not going to be able to get these kids until they make a permanency plan for them. As long as they are still trying to reunify with mom, they're not going to move them too far away to visit regularly. Additionally, you and your dh and your inlaws are going to have to pass homestudies through the ICPC (Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children) in order to take placement of the children. You mentioned that your dh was on probation and you didn't say for what. Depending on what he was on probation for, you could be automatically eliminated as placement possibilities due to criminal history. The caseworkers are most likely not interested in getting anything other than your name and contact information at this point, and won't be until they explore options other than reunification. If there is a local relative there (the birth father(s), paternal family members, etc.) who are appropriate, placement might occur there rather than looking at out of state placement. Truthfully, at this point, a lawyer isn't going to be able to do much for you. Once termination is the goal, the caseworkers are obligated to seek out family members who might be interested in adopting. Sarah
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What state are you residing in now? SC or FL? If you can't get the SW on the case to respond then call the supervisor and work your way up. Document everything that has happened and is happening..phone calls, etc.. It took us almost a year to get our Niece here to FL from ID and it was not easy at all. We ended up having to contact state representatives in FL and the Governor's office in Idaho. It is not an easy thing and being the kids are split up there may be more issues there. In our case the sending state (ID) required us to license ourselves as foster parents (which we are now) and then they dragged their feet. Only after hiring an attorney in the sending state (ID) did we get anywhere. I hate to say it but you may need an attorney to represent you. That way they know you are serious about the kids. And to move the kids you'll have to get the sending state to initiate the ICPC so you'll need to contact them somehow. Another issue is the probation issue on your husband. If it's anything to do with kids you would be disqualified and most of the time they don't like criminal records. You'll be background checked to get the kids. They won't just move them to your home automatically after you contact them. Good Luck!
I have no clue what is going on here, but, I seriously think CPS should have been called long ago, especially since you knew this. When children are involved they make a point to be there that day. I also would like to say that when a child is being questioned about abuse the abuser is not allowed in the room. The cops should have had CPS at that house and taken them chldren. This was really long and mind boggling to say the least. depending on what your husband is on probation for, you may not get them out of fostercare.
I have no clue what is going on here, but, I seriously think CPS should have been called long ago, especially since you knew this. When children are involved they make a point to be there that day. I also would like to say that when a child is being questioned about abuse the abuser is not allowed in the room. The cops should have had CPS at that house and taken them chldren.
This was really long and mind boggling to say the least.
depending on what your husband is on probation for, you may not get them out of fostercare.
My husband is no longer on probation, but it was for a theft when he was 18 (several years ago) that he PLED to, he was never convicted of anything. If I hadn't only recently found all of this out, then we would have contacted CPS a long time ago. DCF did the investigations at the house that they were living in with my in laws, but they took the children to another part of the house and someone staying in the other room to make sure that no one listened in. Most of the reports from the children were made at school, though. My in laws HAVE been in contact with a case worker that WAS on the case for a while, but he stopped calling and answering calls one day, and we finally were able to talk to my sister in law, and she said that she has a new foster case worker.
I didn't post here to be criticized. If you didn't mean it that way, I apologize, but it IS hard to tell on the internet. I just want advice. I was hoping that maybe someone who saw this would have gone through, or heard of, the same situation. Sorry if it's confusing. If you read the tags at the top and bottom of the posts taht I type, they are almost ALL after midnight. I'm normally pretty tired.
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TaraLani
My husband is no longer on probation, but it was for a theft when he was 18 (several years ago) that he PLED to, he was never convicted of anything.
I'm a DCF CWLS paralegal. In Florida, a theft charge is not an automatic disqualifier. The kids are in South Carolina, right? Again, here's the deal: 1. You and your parents can call the sw and request that an ICPC request be initiated. Placement cannot occur until the 'receiving' state (the one where the kids may be placed) has approved the homestudy and notified the 'sending' state (where the kids are now) that they are willing to supervise a placement for a minimum of six months. The request can be made now, regardless of what the permanency plan for the kids is. 2. Your SIL's kids will not be moved away from her (even if you have an approved homestudy through ICPC) until they are no longer looking at reunifying the kids as an option, unless she agrees that they can be moved to you permanently. If they are still attempting reunification then they are required to have the children available for regular visits. That can't be done with them several states away. 3. Even if she and the birthfather(s) agree that you and/or the grandparents can have the children, you *STILL* will have to have an approved homestudy done specifically under ICPC rules and regs in order to be allowed to have them. 4. ICPC takes months to process. Months. 5. Until either your SIL agrees to let you have the kids or the state decides to explore options other than reunification, having an attorney will do you no good. Once the mom agrees or the state decides to place elsewhere, by all means, get a lawyer if you can afford one. You will not be entitled to an appointed attorney, the way that mom is. 6. If it was me, I would find out the name of the caseworker and the agency that they work for, and send a certified letter stating that you want to request an ICPC homestudy so that you can be considered for placement of the children. You'll need to include your permanent address and contact information so you can be contacted. The SW can't talk to you much now, and can't tell you much now, because you aren't legally a 'party' to the action. So I wouldn't expect anything until you get a phone call from your local people wanting to do a homestudy. Good luck,Sarah
I agree with everything Sarah says. Until you get the ICPC in route you can't really do much of anything....and most states do require home studys approved and our Niece's sending state required we be licensed foster parents BEFORE placement. And because we have NO TPR on either parent we are just considered "Fostering" her right now til TPR on August 15th. ICPC takes months and sometimes a year or more to complete so you need to get that started if you are serious. And you have to be serious because there are SO many loopholes to jump thru it aint funny.
I was not critizing you, I am mad at what happened, and the state loves to drag there feet at times. Those children needed moved long ago. There are so many things that you have to go thru and do, as Sara and Helen said. Its a dog and pony act and you are in the middle of a 3 ring circus. Family placement is the hardest, because they have your number and know where you live. If you want to take these children then you fight for them like you have never fought before, let each no make you angery enough to work your way up the chain of command, until you have worked your way out of that office and into the state. Trust me, been there done that, and I know I am not alone.
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I have contacted all of the case workers involved- I have been calling since a week ago. I have actually SPOKEN to 1 person, but left multiple messages for all, letting them know taht we are here, that we want the home study done, and everything else I could think of.
The court date to strip the mother's rights is next month. 2 of the children have already been placed on the SC adoption list- in other words, the kids have been split into 'groups' of siblings. They are no longer a 'package deal'. It also means that we have to move fast. My husband and I are living in a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom home, but I have been calling a bunch of places that are for rent, to see about moving into something bigger.
Does anyone know how many children can legally share a bedroom in FL? The case worker that I talked to wasn't sure about FL law, and I'm still trying to talk with someone down here. (We are trying to get the 4 youngest- there are 3 boys and 1 girl. We have 1 boy and 1 girl now.) Also, they said that the only finacial requirements are food and clothes being taken care of, we don't even have to be middle class. Does anyone know if we will be disqualified for food stamps? We already get them, so if they will hurt us getting them, we need to increase the income, and get rid of the food stamps.
Sarah- I REALLY appreciate all of your information. Having a breakdown like that was awesome to look at. Thank you. Thank you to everyone else, also!
By the way, I was told (by the case worker who happens to be the adoption worker) that SC has NO adoption fees. However, I think I'm going to have to have a lawyer for the final process. Am I correct? I know that's a bridge to cross if and when we get to it, but I'd like to know what to expect ahead of time, if possible.
And the home study- does anyone know details about it? Like, will they let us stay in our home now, and assess us, then if WE pass, move so they can assess the house? I have found a few places for rent that we are interested in, but #1, we have to wait for the end of the month, or we lose a month's rent, and #2, we need a little bit of time to save up some funds for the deposit on a new place. Cost of living in Florida isn't cheap.
Thank you all for all of your help, and ANY continued advice would be SUPER! I feel like I keep hitting brick walls or something with all this going on. :grr:
Where are you located in Florida? I would call your local DCF office wherever you are and get the process started here. The state our Niece came from pretty much ignored our requests too until we hired an attorney and setup a hearing to show our interest. That didn't help move her to us at that time however it showed DCF in her state that we were serious relatives! Of course it looked bad hiring an attorney for ourselves but that was our last resort after contacting Governors, Senators, and State Reps and getting little to no response. We were told it was wrong for us to hire an attorney but we felt it helped us out alot to speed up the process to get our Niece here. But then again the foster parents whom had our Niece also hired an attorney to fight us. The only way to move forward is get in touch with someone at DCF where the kids are...supervisor, directors, etc...and get the ICPC started. Once that is received by your state (receiving state) then that will specify the home study needed to get approved. In our case we didn't wait for the ICPC to come here...we just took it upon ourselves to become licensed foster parents. We figured in the end at least that would help our case to show our initiative to do that and it did eventually. Just be aware it's not easy to move a child across state lines WITHOUT TPR...they may use that to hold the child there, of which we found was not true. Our Niece's bio parents have not been TPR'd yet (neither one) but it's occuring August 15th. Bio mom is supposed to voluntarilly sign and Bio Dad is being default TPR'd due to abandonment. So basically we are now only fostering her until TPR on at least one occurs then it's "foster to adopt" legal risk...But if both are TPR'd then it's going to be foster to adopt instead. I would get everyone involved you know....govt officials, etc...if you are serious about this. It's not easy and it will take ALOT of patience and alot of phone calls to get someone to help you. And document everything you do. We had a log going from day 1 of finding out about our Niece. And we researched laws and everything ourselves.
We have adopted my cousin's two children from North Carolina and we are also in Florida. We had great difficulty actually getting the children here. Make sure that SC considers you 'family'. Although we were 'family' in Florida, NC rules excluded us, which meant we had to also go through the process of being licensed foster parents. That can take awhile, as each area only offers the courses a few times a year. Local DCF should be able to assist you with that info, although it may be like where we are in Tallahassee, where everything is privatized and a contractor separate from DCF handles the licensing and training. We too had to get our local legislative representative involved as NC drug their feet with the process. We were also required to make a number of personal trips to NC for court hearings, to show our interest and for visits with the children for a smoother transition. All in all it took over a year to get the kids here, and that was only after the TPR had occured. We did hire an attorney, but it was wasted money since NC did not consider us as family and therefore we were not a party to the case which meant we could not freely speak in court unless the judge recognized us. Be prepared that the parents will not give away their rights as most parents somehow feel they are not such 'bad' parents if their rights are taken away as they would be if they chose to give away those rights. Good luck. Each state has an Interstate Compact Office; you may have to contact them directly and make yourself known to the person who will be assigned your case. These offices are located within the state capitol's state adoption agency. If you get to that point, you may post your need for contact information and I will be happy to find the number to Tallahassee's office; they will be able to assist you with any other state's office. Good luck.:eyebrows:
Well I hate to say this but the chances of you getting the baby are very slim and the longer they are in their current placements for adoption the less likely you will get them cause length in foster care superceeds being a relative. I should know I have been fighting for my sisters kids in foster care for 3 years and I do HAVE an approved homestudy and was matched though Childrens Home Society but GAL argued for the single 69 year old single foster parent of 7 small children. AND guess what I lost THE judge thought it would be more in the best intrest of the children to remain in foster parent home for adoption and have no life then with the normal aged aunt and uncle with their 2 like age cousins with PERFECTLY NORMAL lives (church, sports, scouts, field trips, fundraising ect) and we live in the same dang county only 20 miles away and the kids go to the same school and WE have ALEADY FLUSHED $10,000 down the drain on legal fees or the lack there of and now that i am contacting other childrens rights lawyers about it cause the kids are being abused and documents/witnesses have proved it and yet they refused to remove the kids and of course they have their hands out for another $5,000-25,000 retainer I also could use some SERIOUS help you can private message me if you would or need the full details regarding my case but I really dont know what other hope that I can give you but NEVER give up and keep calling up the ladder. AND I think that having food stamps DOES disqualify you. My second home study was supposidly denied due to income reasons (was never given a copy) and I was not getting food stamps I was a full time nursing student to graduate in 3 weeks and my bills did not exceed my income BUT they claim that if some of the family that was paying some of the other bills stop then I could not afford to pay for them. BUt the written copy stated that "It was all concerning the fact that there would be 5 small children in the home and I had to work (10hrs)week that I would not be able to adaquately provide the INDIVIDUALIZED attention and care but they think that the 69 yr old single foster mother can with 7-8???????
sorry I could not be more helpful dont give up
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