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hi. this is my first post here and I need help. I am 22 years old and due in November. I thought my ex-boyfriend and I were going to be great parents but now he is gone and I don't think I can do this by myself. He says he wants nothing to do with me and my baby and he thinks I should place her for adoption. I sorta agree but I don't know right now,I know it is my decision and my ex-boyfriends and he says he will do it, but what about me? what should I do? I do think it is a good idea, I really do want my baby to have the best life and I don't think I can do it alone.
Someone please help me.
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I agree... choosing was SO hard! For me, I had a few things in mind when looking through profiles to help narrow it down.. like I love music and its a big part of my life, so i looked for couples who either played an instrument or sang in a choir, etc. I also have really good memories of big family gatherings, so i looked for couples with a large extended family. Things like that. Second was how i felt. Once i got it narrowed down to a few (+/- 10 or so.. lol) I read through them all and analyzed how i felt. Did i like how things were written? Was anything confusing? Was the "vibe" there or not? Then after narrowing it down AGAIN, i started email them and asking questions not covered in their profile, like how they deal with conflict between themselves, favorite childhood memories, favorite foods, books, movies, etc.... basically what makes them unique. Then, based on a few emails back and forth, i was able to choose the couple i liked the most, and I felt had the most in common with me. Neways, i know its a long and tiring process... but you'll find them. Just remember, dont comprimise what you want. If you want them to have pets, love sardines, and play board games... then stick with it!! LOL... you'll find the perfect parents, i know it.
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I admire you for your decision. I will pray for you and your decision, that you will be lead in wisdom and that you would be directed. As an adopted child, one thing that was very strong in my life was my faith because I felt as if my adoption was God's way of puting me in the very place He needed me to be to become who He wanted me to be. I felt His hand directed my life's direction. I am greatful to everyone who had a part in that from beginning to end. This I will pray for you as well in whatever path you choose.
Just now reading your post and honestly am a bit alarmed that in 24 hours you went from "so confused" to knowing you needed to place.Not trying to persuade you one way or the other.......just to encourage you to take plenty of time before making such a life changing decision. I think you might find yourself swinging back and forth emotionally many times between now and November. I'm hoping you won't lock yourself into any decision between now and then, but will keep your options open. Please keep us updated on how things go for you, whatever you decide.K
I don't think it's a decision can really help you with. I can say to you, if you know you can't provide for your baby, then it is truly the least selfish thing you can do, finding a couple to parent her. There are so many types of adoption, open so that you can see her, closed if you don't want to and there is also semi-open which is what our agency recommends. Semi-open is when you get letters and pictures at least once a year. We have adopted before & we send pictures & letters more often than a year and if both parties agree, you can have times to visit with each other in this type of adoption. I guess your main decision is weighing the options, if you feel you can physically, emotionally and financially raise a child on your own then do it. There is a lot of help out there available to single moms as well. I wish you well.
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I'm sorry you are having a hard time, but this is an extremely important decision!! I don't know if this helps or you may have done it already, but I like to make lists - list everything you wish the adoptive parents to be and then make a list of things you absolutely do not want the adoptive parents to be...just a thought!! Best wishes to you :)
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I too cannot imagine how difficult it must be to chose the one's who will replace you. Have faith that if this is the path the Lord has chosen for your child, He will provide the home that is perfect for her future and yours. Seek His will in this and I am faithful He will show you the way. There is time and no one knows the turn of events that may occur. Don't fret. It is not good for you or the baby. Know that you are loved and you are not alone. I will keep you in my prayers for peace and direction.
lellis
I too cannot imagine how difficult it must be to chose the one's who will replace you.
Hi everyone. Checking in. I am due next week and had a couple picked out, but we found out that my baby may have some problems when she is born. So the people who wanted to adopt changed their minds. I am quickly trying to find another couple and I feel like I am running out of time. My agency said that she could go into a foster home if need be, but I really don't want that for her. I am emotional and truly hoping that she will surprise them all and be healthy. Please pray for us.
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I will be keeping you and your baby in my prayers this week especially. You sound scared and I can imagine it must feel uncertain to have this turn of events at what might seem like this late hour. I hope you are taking good care of your self, getting rest, eating well. Try not to fret, try not to be anxious and breathe well. The future is still unwritten, each day has enough trouble of it's own. Keep seeking and listening for that still small voice. Both you and your baby are loved so very much.