Am I wrong?

August 27, 2007

Haven't posted anything in a while; guess that means I thought I had everything figured out:arrow:

I have a good friend whom I dearly love; we met when dd was 3-1/2 and her dd was a newborn. We live a block apart in our city; we live a city lot away at the lake. We all spend a lot of time together; our girls are also close, despite a bit of an age gap (dd is now nearly 11, friend's daughter now 7-1/2)

I love that they enjoy playing together. I love that we all spend a lot of time together.

I believe we are both good parents. We both focus our social plans on daughter-friendly activities. They are good girls, very capable of independent play, happy, obedient, polite, ...

Now I sound anal :cowboy:

We recently returned from a 5 day road trip with our friends; I recently learned that I can't handle the stress of a road trip with friends ...

My friend has been accused of 'coddling'. At the time, I disagreed with the accusers, and agreed with the friend, when she said that they're only young for so long; what is 'coddling' anyway?

Coddling is a 7-1/2 year old constantly whining "momma...momma...momma"; coddling is spoonfeeding a 7-1/2 year old; coddling is no repercussions whatsoever (poor little thing was in tears when dh told her to not climb the fence surrounding the bear cage at the zoo ...);

There's more, but that basically gives you an outline.

I'm concerned for these friends. I love my daughter more than life itself, believe me! and I am affectionate and involved and she knows I love her...

But I see a problem with my friend and her dd; am I wrong?

It seems that the coddling is going to interfere with the child's independence, which should be encouraged; am I wrong?

Oh, they do grow up too fast, I know that. And yet, I fear for the child that is babied beyond all sensibility.

Am I wrong?

I am hovering between deciding that I AM wrong; and wondering if I should have a friendly heart-to-heart with my friend;

My dh agrees that it is getting out of control. My friend's marriage has become less than stable, and we wonder if this is part of the problem. Our mutual friends / coworkers comment on it (the 'coddling') regularly.

What do you all think?

Babs

mrsred

August 27, 2007

I think if you want to stay close friends with her you don't say anything. No matter how you mean it, she will feel hurt and will probably not recieve it well. I wouldn't plan anymore vacations together... too much togetherness is really bad for friendships.

Maybe you can do things to encourage her letting her child work toward independence, without out and out saying "You baby her and it is not a good thing"