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We had an appointment this morning to see the brand spanking new early childhood dev't. center at the Catholic school where we want to send H. It was, as I expected, fantastic. In order to get him into the preschool program (which bumps us way up in priority to get him into the K-8 program) we have to switch parishes. So we did---we went from the school office to the parish office to enroll. I am feeling disloyal, even though I have ties to this parish as well (my parents were married there, we have many friends there) because I really love going to the cathedral, where we belong now, and we are very close to our priest there. I was baptized there, we were married there, my dh went through RCIA there. I feel a little like I dumped a friend to get in with the cool kids. I know we can still attend mass at the cathedral occasionally, but it's not the same. The new parish actually does keep track of mass attendance/giving when the school enrollment is done, so we'll have to attend regular mass there now. Anybody else gone through this?
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Not yet. I know I too would feel guilty. My hope would be that my friends and family would understand that we would be doing this for my child. That we want the best education for her. I would also talk to my priest if we were that close just so he understood why we were doing what we were doing. Good luck and visiting is good.
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And of course it's complicated by some other things: 1. Our priest at the cathedral used to be the priest at this parish---which is actually OK---he's still beloved over there. 2. The cathedral has a school---but it's nowhere near the facility this one is. It would be about 4th choice for us. 3. We live almost exactly in between the two parishes. Most of our neighbors actually go to the one we're joining. I'm just sad---but I know it is the right thing for H.
HBV
I know we can still attend mass at the cathedral occasionally, but it's not the same. The new parish actually does keep track of mass attendance/giving when the school enrollment is done, so we'll have to attend regular mass there now.
I know what you are going through - I was raised in my former parish from the time I was a toddler - I was there for almost 30 years! They don't have a school so we had to change parishes in order to attend the same church/school...
We don't feel guilty about switching because we are doing this for the betterment of our family, but I do feel sad because although our new parish is welcoming and wonderful, I miss the place where I made my first communion, got married, baptised my boys, etc...It's been 2 years and I still feel sad, but definately not guilty.
QUOTE: Wow! That's a little too controling for me. I wonder what else they will keep track of and require.
Actually, at least for our church, they keep track for a reason. Those who are members of the parish get a lower tuition rate, and they measure that by attendance - otherwise anyone can say they are parishoners and get a lower rate.
lovemy2boys
QUOTE: Wow! That's a little too controling for me. I wonder what else they will keep track of and require. Actually, at least for our church, they keep track for a reason. Those who are members of the parish get a lower tuition rate, and they measure that by attendance - otherwise anyone can say they are parishoners and get a lower rate.
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HBV - when it comes to having to change parishes, I know the guilt. I guess we are all loyal catholics and it is not a bad thing to feel the guilt I think. To me, it means your parish feels like home, like family, and that is how it should. But like home and family, sometimes we have to make a move for better oppritunities and it is hard. But we make a new home and have different family around.We changed parishes about a year and a half ago because our old parish, where DH was baptized, took all his other sacraments and we were married, was becoming "old", kwim - not very much enery or young people. We wanted DS to want to attend mass and to enjoy it with others his age, so we made a change just before he came home to us. Man did I feel guilt about making the call to "quit the old church"! DH and I did rock/paper/sissors to see who had to do it. I lost!Anyway, we do what we feel is best for our families and now we have a new home and family and are so happy with the move!Good Luck to you.
i did do this. I was raised in one parish attend the parish school attended every Sunday until my oldest son started school. We had heard really good things about the neighboring parish's school, so we really had to change in order to get in and for reduce in tutition. My 2 oldest boys both attended there until I moved several hours away.
First of all, I think you're extremely lucky for having choices! I think I took for granted the larger Catholic population and number of churchs where I grew up. Now, I we have one parish in the town closest to us, although about 8 more within a 45 minute commute radius. The 2 Catholic schools to choose from are both about 45 minutes away. And there aren't even any other closer private Christian schools! I would feel guilty about leaving my current parish. I can certainly understand that you are feeling that way. But you do have ties to the new parish, as you put it. And hopefully, you'll grow to be as comfortable with it and love it as much as the previous one. Plus, it sounds fab for little H... And I've certainly learned that having a child has definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone in some areas or motivated me to do things I t ypically wouldn't have - all because I think it's best for him. I'll pray for your switch and hope you quickly become a part of the new church family!