The Role of Birth Parents in OA

As we learned in Chapter Ten of Lifegivers (read about it on the blog), there's no real way to "define" the "role" of birth parents in open adoption. Birth parents are unique. Adoptive parents are unique. The relationship that they form in OA is unique. No two situations are going to look the same.However, I don't think that means that we can't learn from one another. I'm sure that we've all had successes and made mistakes in our open adoptions and from those things, we can pass a bit of wisdom on to others who have yet to deal with that issue or who are yet to come.And so, some questions:1. What has been your biggest success as a birth parent in OA with the relationship you have formed with the adoptive parents? How about your biggest success with your child?2. What has been your biggest mistake as a BP in OA with the relationship you have formed with the adoptive parents? How about your biggest mistake with your child?3. Has your OA gone according to the "plan" you (collectively) had in mind when you began the relationship? If not, have you been able to uphold the values that underlie the open adoption?4. What are some things that birth parents can do to feel secure in the "role" of birth parent, even though it isn't clearly defined? What are some things that adoptive parents could do, on their end, to help us a bit with that security? Is it possible to ever feel 100% secure as a BP in OA? Why or why not?And anything else you want to discuss about responsibility, role and the like. :)