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So, for weeks and weeks now (after what I thought were bedtime issues brought on by more molar teething at the beginning of the summer), our bedtime routine switched to end with only Da Da being able to carry the little guppy upstairs and put him to bed. Usually without a peep, although once in a while he lies up there silent but awake for 30-60 minutes or babbles a little while. So, last night, hub was napping on the couch w/ an achy back, and the routine seemed to go as normal, so I figured - hey - he's been going down just fine for weeks. What's the big deal? I put him down for naps 4 days a week, usually without a problem. So I did exactly what daddy does, and took him up. He was wailing IMMEDIATELY! So I ended up waking Dad (when it was apparent th elittle guy was NOT going to sleep).... and making him go up. well, that really upset him, since I'd put him down, then sent up the Da da. So he ended up coming back down for 20 minutes. Then Dad took him up, and put him down WITHOUT a peep! What the heck???? Why is it really just me? I am with him 4 full days a week, and work outside the home 3 days. Da Da is usually not with him any full days right now. Is it an attachment to me thing? Does this happen to anyone else????? I have to admit, it's making me feel like I'm not doing something right... I'm thinking I might start (after we get one good night back under our belt w/ Dad) going up WITH dada, exiting the room early, then staying long enough and gradually changing until I'm the one carrying him and putting him down, w/ Dad there, until eventually he might be fine w/ me doing it by myself.... Almost any other time, he wants me over hubby. But bedtime does NOT work. I handle the rest of the bedtime routine until the carry-up.
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Same in our house and my older son is 3.5 years old! We have gotten to the point now that I can go up with Daddy, like you said. I am "allowed" to partake in the evening ritual of potty, brush teeth, prayers, and books, but once it is lights out, Daddy has to stay, not Mommy. I have even been able to bring him up alone, but once that pinnacle moment of lowering the lights takes place, I get to hear, "I want DADDY!!!!!!" I have even gotten him to sleep on my own, only to have him wake up a few hours later all hysterical that Daddy didn't put him to sleep. I guess at this point he sees the difference between going to bed and going to sleep.
I am a SAHM so for us it has always been....'daddy walks through the door and mommy is barely alive'. So I wasn't too shocked that he would want Daddy to take him to bed. But we have an 8.5 mo old. And it gets hard on only DH to put the older one down. Plus, we felt like we have to nip this in the bud now so we can switch off with the kids when little one starts his bedtime routine.
I think you have it right...start out slow. We started slow and like I said, I'm still not at the point where I can do it alone. Part of me also knows that it is DS controlling the situation. He just knows he "can" get away with putting up a fuss because I'm not one to make bedtime a battle when he is such a good sleeper.
Ok, too early this morning for me...I'll quit rambling now. Lol.
--Renee
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We've been switching off a little, and at first H wouldn't go to sleep for Daddy without getting out every toy in the toybox, climbing on furniture, etc. Now it's better, but I have noticed that if one or the other of us comes in the room during bedtime routine, all bets are off. I think he thinks that's a cue that there are still things going on in the house, so he wants to be awake for them. Try the slow routine change as you're suggesting, or try switching off every couple of nights so he's only got one of you at a time, but you're both capable of putting him to bed.