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My husband and I took a break from the infertility trail for a while, only to receive a call from a friend re: adopting. We saw this as our answer to prayers, our miracle. All details and prerequisites ran smooth and quick, so we had no reason to believe that this would not go through up until the moment it didn't. We had our beautiful girl for two weeks when bmom changed her mind. She decided <24 hrs before our court date that she could not leave town without her. We are heartbroken and I am lost in this emptiness. We have no answers and what appears no legal recourse.. Any advice?
Soooooo sorry for your loss and heartache. You are living an adoptive parents' nightmare.
Allow yourself to mourn, and ignore anyone who says something well-meaning like, "Well, I guess it wasn't meant to be" or she wasn't really yours, yet, anyway" We heard those. NOT helpful!
She WAS yours, and your heart has every right to break, and you have every reason to mourn. Let yourself feel what you need to.
Life is just not fair sometimes, and even though we know God will make it up to us in the end, and will heal our hearts, it is not easy for the moment.
Hugs and prayers being sent your way.
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eh07
My husband and I took a break from the infertility trail for a while, only to receive a call from a friend re: adopting. We saw this as our answer to prayers, our miracle. All details and prerequisites ran smooth and quick, so we had no reason to believe that this would not go through up until the moment it didn't. We had our beautiful girl for two weeks when bmom changed her mind. She decided <24 hrs before our court date that she could not leave town without her. We are heartbroken and I am lost in this emptiness. We have no answers and what appears no legal recourse.. Any advice?
I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the heartache.
But would you really force the mother of this child to give it up when she clearly doesn't want too?
Please know that there is a child out there for you, just not this one. I imagine you pain is as deep as the birthmom's was when you had her child for two weeks.
So much pain so much unhappiness.
With adoption there is often great joy, right along side of the great pain, for everyone.
I am sorry for you loss.. truely sorry.
I am so sorry for your loss of your daughter. I have been there, and there is no heartbreak like the loss of a child. I really think that there is nothing you can do now, but mourn, reflect and talk to anyone who will listen (and if no one will listen, talk to the cat!). Yours is a great loss that will forever color your life. I can tell you that more than a year later, my loss still can bring me to my knees. It is important to know, though, that I can also get up now. I can enjoy life, laugh with friends, and adore the baby son I adopted after the loss. You can get through this, and you will.
Please keep posting here so that we can follow you in your road to recovery, and help keep you lifted up when you need support.
Char
Julianna thank you. The kindness in your words mean alot. Not everyone thinks as you/we do and that makes it difficult to go through the stages of all of this. Thank you for your support.
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Thank you Char. My dogs are great listeners.... but so is my husband and our support systems. The impact is not only on ourselves, but on those who love us too. I'm going back to work this week. I think the distraction will be good. I think we would feel differently..or better..?...if we felt that the Bmom would be making our girl her main priority, but neither of us do.
My heart goes out to you, and I am sending prayers your way for strength. Coming on this forum will help you spiritually and emotionally. We were in a contested adoption for 2 years, and I feel your pain, thankfully ours ended with us adopting our beautiful son. The birth father in our case contested. God only knows why this happens, but God called on you to be there for a child and you were. Please don't give up the hope, I know its hard, but another angel will come for you hopefully soon. Nothing can take away the pain, prayers are what got us through our emotional times....Please keep us posted..
I agree in times like these prayers and each other is all we've got. We believe that God has a plan for us here. I think what is most difficult is that His plan is in His time, not ours. Thank you for your kindness.
eh07
I agree in times like these prayers and each other is all we've got. We believe that God has a plan for us here. I think what is most difficult is that His plan is in His time, not ours. Thank you for your kindness.
:( :hissy: :(
{{{{HUGS}}}} and prayers! Your dream will be realized before you know it! Our's did X2.
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