good news

I've been hesitant to post, because in the six years that we've been trying to become parents (3 years doing infertility treatments, 3 years waiting to adopt) I would get so frustrated hearing about others getting pregnant or adopting before me. But now I realize that most people are probably not as petty and jealous as I am...I'm just so thrilled and excited that I wanted to share. My desire is that this news will give hope to those of you who are still waiting and praying for that little one to come to your family. As I said, DH and I had been waiting almost 3 years for a match/placement with LDS FS. We had one match almost two years ago, it happened a few days after my mother passed away from cancer. Three weeks later the baby was born and her mother decided not to place. Needless to say this was the most devastating and difficult trial of my life. I don't harbor any bad feelings toward the woman who chose us, she made the decision that was right for her...a few months afterward I contacted her and found out she had returned to church, etc. Still, we had experienced many spiritual feelings leading us to believe this child was coming to our home (as early as 10 months before she was born), so it was quite difficult to move on. (Some people said, "oh, there is another child just around the corner" "she wasn't meant for you" and "maybe she would have been a difficult child." I didn't believe any of these things. It was a second "death" to mourn on top of my mother's death.) Somehow I knew that it would be at least a year before we were matched again. Time passed, I went to counseling, we used ParentProfiles, went to an adoption conference, reworked our letter, collages, and profile, signed on with a second agency, and even started looking into infertility treatments again. We built a very happy life in spite of our childlessness. We still hoped and prayed, but stopped feeling complete despair and discouragement about not having children. In March '07 we received an email contact from a pbm. We had received many of these and many times the pbm wouldn't reply to us a second or third time, so we really don't get our hopes up at all. We replied back and forth a few times. We felt this girl had many good qualities, but we supressed any feeling of excitement because we didn't want our hopes dashed yet again. On April 12, 2007, my 30th birthday, we were called to the agency--we assumed it was to update our file because we had a new caseworker who was making sure everything was current. We sat down in her office and she presented us with a laundry basket filled with Easter grass and wrapped presents. The pbm had purchased baby bottles, clothes, shampoo, etc. and wrapped each one for us. At the bottom were two envelopes, one containing the ultrasound photos and the second a card saying she had selected us to be the parents of the baby boy she was carrying. I think I was in shock for about 2 weeks after this. Over the next several months we met with pbm, her parents and siblings, got together for chats, dinner, movies, etc. Finally, almost a week after her due date, L. gave birth to D. on September 9, 2007. In a "tender mercy" D.'s birthday is 9/9, which fits in with DH's neices and nephews who all have repeating birthdays--12/12, 6/6, 8/8 and 3/30. Pbm and her family had thought it would be cool for him to be born on the 8th, making his birthday 9/8/07, but when they heard about the birthdays for DH's neices and nephews, they agreed that the 9/9 birthday was perfect! L. placed D. in our arms Sept. 11, 2007 (finally something happy to think about on that day). Since then we've had visits with L. and her family about once per week. She is doing very well and we are very happy to have an open adoption with her. After one month of motherhood I'm finally getting used to the "new normal." We are enjoying every moment. This has turned into a very long post...but I wanted others to see that even as the years go by don't give up on believing a miracle can happen. I was terrified that we would never be chosen due to our deafness, me being chubby, etc. Luckily God knew better than me and led L. to find us...she looks like me, she knows some Sign Language, she is an amazing person from a wonderful family. She truly is the perfect birthmother to be matched with and D. was meant to come to our family. Dreams really do come true! Best Wishes and prayers to those of you in the waiting process.--L.