Advertisements
Another failed placement again today. My wonderful wife is devastated. I dont feel anything, totally numb.
We spent 4 1/2 years dealing with Infertility, trying Invitro 3 times. Started the adoption route with both an attorney (great guy) and Catholic Charities (cant even get on the main list, been over a year). I think this is our 3rd or 4th falied placements just in the last 8 months with attorney. 2 BM drug their feet for months only to change their mind at the last minute. Its hard to say, but I truly do wish the children and BM all the best.
I think my DW is at the end of her rope, and Im almost there. We arent hoping to adopt our 2nd 3rd or 5th child, we are hoping for our first. We are both only children so dont have a sibling to turn to. Fost-Adopt isnt even an option due to DW profession. I know many people say, You just have to have faith in God that he'll answer our prayers, and though I know this to be true, I often wonder; Ive read many stories in this forum and constantly ask myself; Why are good, honest, hard working couples having to pray for this when all over the news women throw their babies in trash cans or take a multitude of drugs while pregnant, and every other horror there is. I dont get it.
Here's hoping for a Brighter Future for EVERYONE
JnMHopefulAZ
Like
Share
We had our DD for almost 6 yrs before we began our nightmare. I thought "Why would I have to pray to GOD this guy has no chance". Then GOD slapped me in the face and said"You are not in heaven you are on earth where the craziest crap you will ever witness happens". We had to pray because GOD was all we had to hold on to.Most of the time HE was all we could believe in. It also amazes me of the stories you see,but realize that they are very selfish acts that are not meant to punish you. Even when I struggled to believe(not only in GOD) but in society itself,I always believed that GOD had a purpose for what HE is doing. One day you will look back and it will all make sense.For now hold each other close and love the fact that somewhere right now may be a child thinking about having parents like you. GOD BLESS
Advertisements
JnMhopefulAZ, We also went through the years of infertility. I know the pain and tears from wanting a child so badly. I know the anger and frustration from seeing others get pregnant who truly do not need to and can not care for a child - and yet have a child and mistreat them terribly. I still struggle deeply with this issue. I, too, know the question of "How is it possible all these people can get pregnant, do drugs, mistreat their children - and yet here I am, a good, loving person who would provide a GREAT home for a child - only to be denied?" How does this happen? And I love what daddysangel had to say:Then GOD slapped me in the face and said"You are not in heaven you are on earth where the craziest crap you will ever witness happens". Then when we finally were blessed with our little boy we have been threatened for years with having him taken away from us. He will be our only child because I can never go through all this heartbreak again. So I find myself asking these same questions yet again. WHY am I allowed a child but prevented from living in peace after all the birthmother has done to us? After 5 years WHY can we not just adopt and love this child like other adoptive parents? daddysangel is wise and faithful. In MY case, I still don't see where any of what I have been through makes sense. I can't believe it ever will.:confused: But I hold what daddysangel says close to my heart for he is wise, honest, and caring. He has gotten me through some of my darkest times. I can't offer you platitudes or promises. But I do offer you my support and my empathy. :love: I have been where you are - and then I was finally blessed with a child - and since then I have had to be in the fight of my life for my son. All of this has beaten out of me my faith, trust, and hope. What I can tell you is that I am here for you. That I have survived (barely at times). That while it is hard the only other alternative is to give up - and then you will not have the child of your dreams. The only other alternative of which I am aware, and which can better safeguard your hearts, and which I wish I had done: Is to put in to adopt a child in which TPR is already completed, and the child is legally adoptable, and the adoption lacks only final paperwork by the adoptive parents. This usually means a longer wait - and it could be a much longer wait (but you never really know). You and DW have to decide how much more you can risk, and what you are willing and able to do. I am so sorry for your pain. Please feel free to come back here any time to vent, cry, ask questions. (((HUGS))) Christie:cowboy:
daddysangel
One day you will look back and it will all make sense.
daddysangel
For now hold each other close...
I just wanted to offer my words of support.....
We have been through three failed matches/adoptions in the last year. It is the toughest thing we have ever gone through. I know those feelings of comparing your own life to others and asking God "Why?"....it is ok to ask God. He already knows what you are feeling.
Please just know you are not alone....and tell your Dear Wife that she can come to any of us for comfort and support also.
I would be more than willing to private message with her also if she just wants to vent.......
It is an emotionally draining experience.....We just had our last failed match in October/November.....and we are still dealing with the pain and grief.
Allow yourselves to feel all of these emotions...That is what I have learned.
And there are great people on these boards who can support you.
Blessings,
Katie