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Hello. I am engaged to a woman who has a child. She and I are wanting to get me to have parental rights by adoption once we are married. Our daughter is a cute 2 year old girl. The birthfather hasn't paid child support and doesn't want anything to do with the child, but he is fighting this every step of the was simply because I am Mormon. I am living in Utah. I would like any advice that can be offered.
-TFK
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If he is fighting you, this may eventually come to trial. If isn't truly an unfit parent you would most likely lose. If he doesn't show up to the trial, in utah, You would most likely win by default. Our adoption went that way. When it came down to it, the bdad simply wasn't willing to make the effort to keep his rights. HE didn't want to lose them, but he also didn't want them bad enough to do what it took to keep them. He was given several chances and the court made concessions because he was out of state. and He couldn't even be bothered to make a phonecall. Him not paying child support is taken very seriously in Utah. He may have to become fully current in order to prove himself a "FIT parent". Also, if it's the sealing that is an issue, he may be willing to allow her to be sealed to you in leiu of fighting the adoption. All you'd need is his permission I believe.
For step-parent adoption...the couple usually has to be married for at least 1 year before an adoption can occur. You can TPR a legal fathers rights if he has abandoned the child....abandonment is defined as failing to uphold parental duties for a period lasting longer then 6 months in most states. Both child-support and visitation needs to be non-existant. If the bio father pays child support but doesn't visit...or visits but doesn't pay child support you usually can't tpr rights. Check into your states laws. It may take about 2 years for you to qualify to adopt...1 year for marriage...and then 6 months of No Contact with the bio father and child. Then you can petition for TPR on the grounds of abandonment...and step parent adoption. Good luck.
In utah you must live with the child for 6 months before you can adopt, but first you have to take care of birthfather. I would enforce child support...if their is not a court order for child support get that first! I was in a similar situation. Birthfather did not want his rights terminated but did not want to do any father duties. I was cautioned to not fight for custody until I had a court order for child support. We were lucky to get back child support ordered. We waited almost a year for b-dad to do something but he never did. We then petitioned the court to have father rights removed as he never visited or paid child support. Then we were free to move on to adoption. If b-father wants to be the dad he will have to step up and start acting like the dad.
All of this information has been very helpful to me...My son's father left when I was pregnant with my son. We divorced and I have been raising my son for 12+ years without child support or any other interaction from his dad. I was recently married, Feb. 13th 2010 and my new husband wants to adopt my son, give him a sense of belonging to his other 5 adopted boys. :laundry: I had hoped it would not take so long to get this done, for all of the kids would like that finality.
All prayers, support and suggestions are welcome...
We reside in Idaho, my son's father was last known to live in Indiana 8 years ago.
Thank you for your time,
Dina
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