Clarity

Hi Hipi, In my opinion it is not the stigma of being adopted, it is because we are adopted, we do not know where we came from and have a hole inside missing that identity and the unconditional love that is part of being a family that we lost. Quite probably the first time your Grandma saw herself it was at the birth of her first child. It was for me and it was unbelievable. I am totally fascinated with the parts of me (physical and emotional) that I can directly link to another member of either of my families. To me my adopted family and my birth family are unique to each other, one does not replace the other so there are no competing interests, they both are my families and I am open with both about the other. Kind regards,Dickons

I know I'm very guarded about telling anyone I'm adopted, it's just something though that doesn't come in to the conversation but I did mention that I was to a mom who said her baby was adopted, she was actually very happy I told her and we talked about all kinds of things. In school I remember the other kids finding out and they all stood away from me and stared, I felt so awful. Then there are the situations where I've had a mom, when she had 2 sons, tell me, this one is mine and this one is adopted...ggrr!!! that really bothered me. I have become more open about it as I got older and no longer feel embarassed but don't tell anyone very often. Also, there are a LOT of ignorant people out there!!!