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Right now I am ready for Christmas to be over. I am not feeling any joy.My youngest had a major meltdown last night. She was moved in with us 2 days after Christmas last year. I know it's not normally the wise choice, but it couldn't be helped. She is scared she will be leaving, but not talking about it, instead she is constantly acting out. I "forced" her to talk about it last night and she screamed and cried for almost an hour.I won't get to bed until after 1:00 AM today/tomorrow morning. I have the kids Christmas program tonight then I am part of the Candlelight service tonight. Tomorrow I am leading the service at 10:15 AM. Our church is about 30 minutes from our house so there's plenty of drive time in there as well.My 14 year old is coming home for the day from his foster home tomorrow. Days with him are not the most fun,a nd I wouldn;t bother to do it except my 6 year old wants him here.I just want this to be over with. I'm not feeling any joy and that makes me both mad and sad at the same time.
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What's the mantra we all know?
"Fake it til you make it" I know you are stressed, but I also know how important your church is to you and the community of family you have. Maybe you'll bring the joy to them and in return will receive some to make it through.
Hang in there....((HUGS)) and just for you, because I love ya....SMOOOOOCH!!!
ah, zebra, I do understand. We have been celebrating Christmas for a few days now. Our Christmas program was Friday night.. didn't get home till almost 10pm. Saturday my whole family was up from Oregon, so that meant 20 people in our home for about 9 hours, yesterday was my birthday, so more goings ons... today wasn't too much other than a 7pm candlelight service. BUT all the kids have been stressed and arguing more, and the youngest (we have just had her for four months) has been having screaming fits about every 10 minutes over one thing or another.
I am going back for the 11pm service alone, so that I can have that time to make my own personal connection. When things get too crazy I try to slip away for about 5 - 10 minutes in my bathroom (the only quiet space in the house) to pray and read my Bible or some other inspirational writings.
It is hard to stay focused on the reason for the season when you are dealing with troubled kids. But try to find those stolen moments when you can remind yourself that WE are the troubled kids that God sent His son to save.
The first service is done and it went wonderfully. Our former pastors called to wish us well and pray for us.I did manage to get some peace and joy back. I was sitting in the church between the kids program and the candlelight service. The lights were dim, I was the only one there, and everything was set up. It was quiet and I was able to take in the beauty of the surroundings.Then during the service, my friend Becky sang, and she has an amazing and powerful voice. Hearing her sing is beautiful in itself, but with everyone holding up candles and the rest of the church dim it was beautiful.I'm quite exhausted this morning after only 4 hours of sleeping and getting ready to leave for the next service shortly.May all of you have the peace and joy of Christ in your life today.
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Both services went very well. The congregation seemed to appreciate what we did. We received many thank yous and hugs for our "work". The time with my kids was actually very nice. My son felt it was "freaky" to see his mom act as a pastor and lead worship. He did act quite appropriately during the day. A little wired, but to be expected. Both kids were very appreciative of their gifts and we had a nice casual dinner together.I am ready to take down my Christmas decorations though. Thanks to everyone for the support. I hope your day was wonderful.