Terrible, terrible night with child, please help!

I assume that she had to share a room with a bunch of people in Ukraine, so perhaps she's scared since noone else is in the room with her. Maybe she dislikes tha dark, maybe someone snores too loud and she wants to awaken you both to make it stop for a bit, maybe she needs someone nearby. Have you asked her why, perhaps she doesn't even know. Maybe she's making sure you guys are there just incase! I wish I could help, I really do, I'd be absolutely bonkers after 3 nights of that!

she is not capable in her language skills yet for that. And the problem is - we have had her for 6 months already. It is driving us bananas.

Is she able to communicate with you via sign language? Basic "scared" etc? Or through pictures of bed, nighttime etc. that you can work with her during the day time when she isn't stressed out, to see if you can pin point anything specific? I'm sure she is used to sleeping with others as the above poster stated. Can you set up a sleeping bag in your room for a bit? So if she wakes up, she can just sleep there in your room? It can be an adjustment of course and maybe not ideal, but it sounds like you aren't getting any sleep at all and at least this way maybe everyone will be able to sleep. After she is more secure, and has better communication skills where you can talk to her more about it, you can transition her back to her room. Or maybe try giving her a flashlight or a glow in the dark stuffed animal that she can turn on in her room if you think it's the dark she is afraid of. Maybe glow in the dark stars on her celing etc. And if she comes into your room...as tired as you are, I would comfort her the best you can since she really does need to know you are there. I know it's draining!

I would ask a MD. My son is 3 (placed from foster care at 3 months) & STILL crawls into bed with me in the middle of the night. I see it as bonding since I'm a single mom that works full time. I'd personally let her sleep with me until she's bonded & secure in her surroundings. I can't image 6 months is enough time for her to realize what's going on. It's not even a 10th of her life but I imagine it's been a LONG 6 months for you!!! Good luck - I try to put myself in the childs shoes & can't imagine what they endure especially an adoption at 6 years old-for 5 1/2 years that has not been her bedtime routine & probably not at all normal for her to be alone in a bed. I wouldn't lock her out - I don't think she goes to your room to wake you up in a defiant, nasty way - I'd bet she's so scared & confused. Even staying in a hotel one night I'm out of sorts.Really - good luck & remind yourself she's not doing this to YOU she may be doing things (banging, throwing things, ect..)becasue she has no other communication skills. If co-sleeping is not for you I'd consider putting her bed in your room or taking turns sleeping with her all night in her room-the bonding is a bonus to her security & self-confidence.

Both of my sons from Romania find silence frightening. Even now that they are older, they have a difficult time with it. I put a radio in their rooms and they use those at night. Also, if she is falling asleep and waking every two hours, she may be having night terrors. My youngest takes meletonin to help him sleep but he still wakes in the night(and is NEVER tired in the day) Have you worked with an attachment therapist familiar with the issues of post institutionalized children? I also had a baby monitor in my youngests room at first. He liked knowing I could hear him if he talked. I could also hear if he was having a nightmare. He let me know when he felt he didn't need it anymore.

Since she is deaf so many of the things we normally try would not work, such as a radio r soothing cd. So, grasping for alternative calming methods... I assume she has a night light aleady? What about one of those that has movement? There are some scenic types made for babies, also the fke aquariums. Perhaps when she wakes in the night if she can focus on that type of movement? Another idea is to try to incorporate some movement... maybe a massage pad in her bed? Or even sleeping in a hammock that can sway, or a water bed... just trying to think of some out of the box solutions, things that could be soothing that are not based on sound.

There are a lot of parents of deaf children who experience similar night-time problems. When I read your post, I "Googled" around, using different search phrases. I found some really interesting information on deafness forums and medical websites. First of all, there is a lot of literature out there about deaf children having more night terrors than other kids. And second, deaf children don't have the same reassuring noises in the background that other kids have when they go to bed, like television or hearing their parents talking. That made me stop and think about my own childhood nights. And I remembered how it made me feel safe and secure when I'd wake up and hear my parents' voices or the TV. I would then just roll over, and go back to sleep. But if I woke up after my parents had gone to bed, then it was scary to be alone in the darkness. Anyway, a lot of parents on the deafness forums seem to be having the same problem you are. Their kids wake up often, and get scared that nobody is there. Then they run into their parents' bedroom to make sure they aren't alone. From what I read, it seems that you should be firm, yet loving, and keep putting her back into her own bed. The parents' threads that I read seemed to agree that this could take a few nights, but that eventually the child will stay in her bed by herself. Whatever you do, don't lock her out of your bedroom. I think she's genuinely frightened, and may fear that she's been abandoned.

Maybe you could use some sort of reward system...Like, stay in your room all night and you'll get [insert a small reward]. I don't know how you communicate with your child, but if there was a way to use a reward chart where she could get a reward to staying in her room each night of the week, and then a larger reward for a whole week, then an even bigger one for the whole month. We've used this with foster kids. Another suggestion is maybe you could sleep on the floor next to her bed for a week, the move closer and closer to the door, then sleep in the hall way...etc..until she feels safer. We did this with our daughter when we moved to our new house. She was 1.5 years old and had already moved to the "big bed". The new home was scary for her, so I slept on her floor for about a week, then next to the door (it was a small room), then in the hall way, etc. hang in there. It must be frustrating and you must be tired!

Just wanted to note that this thread is from January 2008 and the OP has not been here since April 2008.