Play dates

Hmmm, I kinda feel the opposite. I stay home with DS and we do mommy and me type classes at the Y and such 3 times a week. I would LOVE to have playdates for him, but with kids who are younger than him. Why? DS is a very reserved and a non-rambunctious type guy. When I work out at the Y and leave him at the daycare there, he just kind of does trains and stuff and interacts with kids who are also being "quiet". Seeing other kids get all noisy, loud and screaming kind of gets to him. Meaning, he kinda looks at them like, what's your deal? Of course, he is an only. I probably should put him with older kids or into preschool next year. But then again, why make him into a rambunctious boy? He will be that soon enough, I feel. ETA: he certainly is "all boy" though, plays with trucks and trains, runs thru the house playing football, basketball, etc. Back to the OT, I don't see anything wrong with this playdate. If anything, he can kinda be an older kid and a leader. JMO

I think it is good to have a mix of ages together as long as there isn't a huge difference. I feel it is good to learn from all types. But, bottom line is you have to be comfortable with it. Kelcee is in preschool 2 days a week. She is 2 1/2 and there is a range of about 6-10 months between several kids and even a few infants. She interact with them all and I think it is good exposure for her. Might not work for you tho.

Speaking as a stay at home mom, let her have the play dates with her friend. If you think it is important for him to interact with kids his age, encourgae additional play dates. I can tell you it gets VERY lonely being home alone with children. The play date is probably mostly for her, but it will help her to be a better caregiver. I had a play date today. It is the first since I quit working. (I had trouble finding other moms who stayed home.) Today has been like a 100 times better than other days because I spoke and someone spoke back! Cameron did not get much out of it, but I am a better mom for it!

I can only speak for the "play-date" part as I have a VERY ACTIVE / social child that loves to play and she goes to pre-school everyday from 8-5. She has play dates w/ a cousin (2 mo older) and other cousins a couple of years older. She has friend playdates w/ 1 that is 6 mo younger ( from Guat like her) and then one from an old daycare that is 6 mo younger. Her old daycare class was made up of 18mo - 3 y.o. so she also has playdates w/ friends that were almost 1 1/2 yrs older than her. I like the variety. But have to admit that I do struggle with the exposure of some of the playdates. So I think I would be more concerned about the interaction of the children and the effect it has on your child. Although currently I have not limited DD's playdates to just the ones I like. I have used the other one as learning or teaching opportunities. Although I think I failed miserably with the last one we had. The little boy is 4 going on 5 and the play date was @ Chick-Fil-A. Another friend of DD's ended up showing up. And although my DD was very sweet and tried to include both of them in the fun but the older one had a TOTAL meltdown because she was playing with the other boy rather than him and he wouldn't join them even when she ask him to come along. He even got hostile w/ her. The play date went bad quick. Since then I have heard her use words like "he is not my friend." or "I like so and so better" --- I hate it that she picked up this but I am sure it is a phase we would have gotten to anyway! I remember living through it as well.

I was a nanny/child care provider for over 10 years so I thought I'd give you my 2 cents. I've seen kids thrive on play dates with kids of mixed ages (my kids now are 3 and 4 and play best with my friend's 9 year old) these can be great opportunities to learn from other people and have some diversity in their lives. however, i agree a little with mommamarci that these play dates my be more for the nanny, and you're concerned about that, i'd look into what it is exactly they're doing on the play date. if they're going to the nanny's house where the other kid is, then you might have reason to wonder what the nanny is really doing. if, on the other hand, they're going to parks, zoos, community activities, or even just on walks, of course that's beneficial. i'd be happy help if you have any questions about possible activities, or just want help understanding a nanny's point of view on something. ash

Speaking as a former nanny who watched an infant and two school age children, playdates were great! My friend watched two kids the same age as the older two I watched. We didn't get together a lot, but when we did the kids really had a good time. Some times we went miniture golfing, or to a park, or to the other kids' house. It really helped break up the same old routine and gave the older kids someone different to play with, since the kids didn't go to the same school. Plus, it gave me someone to talk to other than the baby all day. And let me tell you, some of those summer days or holdiay breaks from school were looong days, especially if none of the neighborhood kids were around. The girls I watched would get bored playing with each other or could only entertain themselves for so long, one or two different people around really got them moving and doing things. Also, as a stay at home mom who also watches several other children all day, I really miss talking to adults. I can't go anywhere because of too many kids and not enough room in my car (plus, where am I going to go with three infants and three 2 year olds by myself?!) I would love for someone to stop by once or twice a week, even for an hour just to have an extra set of hands and some big people talk. Personally, if H doesn't seem to mind the playdate and you're not worried that nanny is ignoring him or putting him in dangerous/harmful situations, I think a once a week adult time with a friend isn't too bad.

My nanny takes my son on playdates and I think it is great. I think it's good for him to socialize and good for her to have another adult to talk to. But, I really like my nanny and trust that she has my son's best interest at heart. I don't think she would ignore him to talk to other nannies. If you are not sure you trust your nanny that way, it may be different.