Advice about Birthday Party Dos & Don't for a 2 yr old

My kids have always opened theirs at the party, and every party I, or my kids have gone to, the gifts were opened at the party. Speaking for myself, as a gift giver... I try very hard to find the perfect gift that will make a child light up. I love seeing thier reaction. A few years ago when my son was totally into snakes my sister got a big flat box and filled it with Easter grass, then put in about a dozen rubber snakes of various sizes and colors. It would have been a shame had she not been able to see how excited he was when he opened it.

I agree with the rest - I've never been to a party where the child didn't open the gifts. In fact, this was the first year we did a kid party out of the house, and the place where we had it only allowed 1 hour in the "party room" for us to eat pizza, serve cake and open presents. We didn't really have time to do all 3 (since some guests arrived late) so we had our boys open their presents while the others ate cake - I think everyone would have been disappointed had they not opened them.

I'm seeing/hearing about this a little as well---it's a new trend at showers, too. Frankly,it makes me mad. The reasoning I heard one hostess give was that it was "rude" to make all the guests wait around while someone opened gifts. If the point of the gathering (whether it's a shower or a birthday party) is to celebrate the occasion, and people celebrate by bringing gifts, then HOW is that rude? I will say that most of the kids parties we've been to, they still open gifts. The last wedding shower I went to, the hostess actually put on the invitation that you had to wrap your gift in clear cellophane so that they could be displayed without having to be opened. I'll get off my soapbox now.

OH I did NOT just read this...Are you kidding me???

I've been to both and depending on the kind of party one has, I can see some reasons to not have gifts opened at the party. (big active theme parties, ages of kids etc.) Since you are having a home party, the gift opening is considered one of the "events" at the party and I would have her open her gifts. It's certainly not a faux pas to continue on this tradition of opening gifts in front of your guests. HBV....I had to laugh at that invite. Talk about faux pas! You never tell your guests what to do, that's just rude, imo. Personally, I'd get the darkest paper I could find and not only that, wrap it up in 4 different boxes.;)

Unfortunately, no. Actually, that didn't bother me as much as the sales pitch one---the hostess sold tupperware or pampered chef or something, and the invitation said "you don't even need to shop---you can buy the present right at the shower!" The bride was mortified. She had no idea her friend was going to do that. Sorry, totally off topic.

I have heard of not opening gifts at parties too. When I give a gift, I do like to see the recipient open the gift. It's part of the fun! We did open gifts at our daughter's one year old party. The only thing that was a little chaotic with that was the older kids there kept wanting to open the presents, and I was having a hard time thanking each person before they were on to the next one.

OMG, this is just appalling to me. Why not just drive by and throw the gift at the door? Jeesh! Kinda reminds me of my SIL who has had "drive by" baby showers for her 5th and 6th children (yes she has 6 and has had showers AND the kids are CLOSE in age and both sexes). Actually was stated on the invite that the shower was "come and go" from 10-1 and to feel free to visit with the mom to be, etc. GAH. Anyhoo, I can *maybe* see the not opening presents deal if it was at Chuck E Cheese or something and the kids are off everywhere but even then, if it were MY kid, I would round up as many as I could and do cake and presents at the same time. I just don't get this phenomenon. *shakes head*

I'd like your opinion of this situation. Our daughter is about to turn two and we're planning to have people over for a little party and cake. We're telling people that no gifts are necessary. We don't want to be ungracious-- it's just that the important part is to celebrate our daughters birthday with good friends. Our daughter is so young that of course she doesn't know what to expect and isn't expecting gifts and we don't want people to feel obligated to go get something just because we invited them. That being said, if some people still show up with gifts and some don't, should we open gifts during the party? I'd really hate to make the people who don't bring gifts feel bad about that. What do you guys think? Anne

I'd still let her open them at the party. If people brought gifts despite being told they didn't need to, then they REALLY wanted to give her a gift, so I would hate to deprive them of the fun of seeing her open them. I might make some kind of remark when you start opening, reinforcing that you really felt the presence of your friends and family was gift enough. Be gracious about it and don't make it the centerpiece of the party---no one will mind.

I agree with HBV. Let her go ahead and open the gifts. Same sort of thing happened at my girls' party last year. Even though we said the gifts were going to be donated, a couple people really wanted to get something specifically for each of the girls in addition to the donated gift. So if someone took the time to pick out a gift for my girls, they kept the gift. We too thanked everyone at the beginning and the end for the donated items to not make anyone feel left out. We didn't make a big deal out of items the girls were going to keep since that wasn't part of the original plan. Everything was separated later at home. All items, whether donated or specifically for the girls, were mentioned on the thank you cards. Like HBV said, let her open the gifts but don't make a big deal out of it. Maybe try to at least gather the people that brought her gifts and open them, thank the guests, and move on with the party.

We are havimg my son's 3rd birthday party today and can I just say that there is NO WAY I would make him wait until everyone left before he could open his gifts. Let's be real here...even as an adult I don't know if I could wait let alone a 3 year old! That would be like waking up Christmas morning and saying...here are all your gifts, don't they look pretty? DON'T TOUCH! I am also one for the look on the giver's face when my children express the manners I have instilled in them as they take the time to say thank-you to each person. It makes it personal and let's face it do you really want to call back a week later to ask if they really liked what you got them? Or hear back 3 months later...oh, by the way, he loved what you got him!

I really think it is dependent on type of party / age of children @ party, time of party etc. At DD's 2nd b-day party (6-8PM on a friday) we had it a "Kids Play" which is like a play area on steriods. HUGE and FUN! Everyone was having so much fun playing that they did not want to stop and eat or open presents including DD. Although it was reserved just for us and not defined time limit the party did start breaking up @ 8PM since the children ranged in age from 18mo - 4 y.o.... and the presents did not get opened. Actually @ age 2 it took me days to get her to open the presents she got and I finally opened the last 5-10 because she was over it. Now we just had her 3rd birthday last Nov and she was SUPER excited about opening presents and each guest ran and grabbed their present and stood in line for her to open them and see her reaction. It was WONDERFUL and fun and so so sweet. It really made the party special. I had this party @ Kangaroo Kids but when the play time is over they corral all the children to eat and open presents b4 leaving. This was a morning party as well (10AM - 12PM) so that may have made a difference as well. I have been to both parties where they open them and some where they did not. Normally when presents were NOT opened there was a TON of activity that was more fun for the attendee's than opening presents! So since you plan to have in your home then I think opening presents would be part of the entertainment and should be done. JMHO

Thanks for all the suggestions. I think we'll wait to see how things seem to be flowing. Mostly, I'd hate to make anyone who was kind enough to come to our party feel bad in any way! Now, pertaining to that last part, my daughter is 2. While we certainly are trying to instill manners and appreciation, she's, you know, 2. She gets shy in front of people and won't say "thank you" even though she knows how. More to the point, if she's not interested in a toy or a gift at that very moment, she certainly hasn't developed the social skills to fake it. Anyone ever get embarassed because while the joyful giver is waiting for a gleeful reaction from the child, it just doesn't turn out that way? :)

I think most people understand that at 2, they're pretty self centered and perhaps not flawless in their social skills just yet. H was 2 in September, and we sort of opened the presents in stages----a few at a time so that he didn't get too overwhelmed. He said Thank you MOST of the time, and he played w/ some more than others, pretty much pitched any clothing offerings over his shoulder, and moved on. I can almost guarantee you that during the opening, she will do something funny that will charm everyone and no one will care or remember what she did or didn't get excited about. Here's one piece of advice, though----have some scissors or a multitool handy. ALL of the toys nowadays have these annoying clamshell packages or those darn twist ties on everything, so getting it OUT of the box once the wrapping paper is off is a big challenge. Assign the grown up who's most likely to get offended by a lack of thank yous to the task of freeing the presents from their packaging confinement. They'll be so busy swearing at the packaging that they'll never notice any manners gaffe. ;) But really, don't worry about it---- people totally understand at this age.