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Okay, the background on this is really long. What do you do when you think your kid's teacher and the principal aren't doing what is best for your kid? I think the teacher and principal judge him way too harshly, and hold him accountable for things that other kids are really responsible for. I also think the principal may be a bit racist or at least harder on my DS b/c of his race. He is currently having some problems with another student. They are in the same class, but even if we moved them to different classes, they would still have recess together. I am almost to the point of moving DS to another school, but obviously have no guarantee that would help. He is doing well academically, and horrible socially. We suspected ADHD and started him on an herbal supp that has helped a lot - enough that we're not looking into meds at this point. He's in two social skills groups, one at therapy and one at school. We just can't get this other kids to leave DS alone. The principal said that she wasn't ever able to contact this other kid's mom, and I get the feeling this mom doesn't really do much about her son's actions. I even offered that the principal could give the other mom my contact info and maybe the other kid could come to our house to play (we'd teach them how to do it nicely) and no call. Now I don't even want my DS to be friends with this other kid- I think he's trouble. Any advice? Please ask any questions to clarify- the story is really long, so I didn't want to add everything if others only feel certain info is important.
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Hi. I'm 36 and have a 13 yr. old and a 1 yr. old. They are my bio children and yes, it will feel strange to have two graduation pics on the wall the same year-one from high school and one from kindergarten. HeeHee I was an elementary school teacher for 6 years before having my youngest and am now a foster mom as well. You need to INSIST on a meeting with the principal, teacher, counselor, and other mom. Speak with the superintendent if necessary. I also believe it would be good to include both boys during the last part of this meeting after all the adults have aired their grievances. It is the ONLY way for everyone to be on the same page, have the same story, and for no one to put their own spin on things. I have worked with ADHD children. Not all need meds, but since you yourself said that he is doing terribly socially.....please consider medication. My foster son is ADHD and does wonderfully at home. We are very structured and I am a pro at using timers and visual reminders to help him stay focused and on task because of my previous experience. However, at school, things are a totally different story. That woman has 20 children to tend to and possibly 5 could all have ADHD. Try to imagine this woman or any teacher on duty having 5 of your child plus 15 extras with their own set of problems. Many that are doing well on herbal supplements at home- but that is not enough for a school setting. See his doctor. Teachers play favorites and it always irked me in meetings when our principal would say, "I am sure Mrs. XXX loves Joey and wants what is best for him." because it wasn't true. I did not love all my students. I am human too and although I enjoy children, they are not mine, and some of them will rub me the wrong way and irritate me to no end. Sadly, your child may be that student for this teacher or principal. He may need to be moved or he may need medication. I would certainly try medication before moving him and I would definitely do the meeting of the minds to get to the bottom of the friction between him and his classmate. Good luck! Kim
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Thank you for the idea of a meeting. I had figured we would need one, but didn't think of extending it that far. When I say DS is doing better on herbal supps, I don't only mean at home. His school performance has really improved and most days he really does well. BUT, when he plays with this other student, it goes all wrong for him. They will often do okay with each other in class, but if the teacher leaves, there will be problems - I myself have seen this kid seek out my son when he thought no one was looking. As soon as this other student saw me, he changed course. I should also mention that it may not be ADHD but anxiety that causes him problems - we are still considering meds, but the meds for each of the these issues are totally opposite and I don't want him to go through experiments with meds and have the kids at school have more ammo than what they do now. I'm not opposed to meds, I just want to be sure they are necessary. I will follow up with the principal tomorrow and see if we can get a meeting. Keep any suggestions coming.