If Original Birth Certificates can't be opened

Depending on the level of security clearance, you may be required to provide a case number if you are adopted. I knew I was adopted and provided the number. Not sure if I had not checked the 'adopted' box (if I had not known) if the application would have bounced back for BC ammended reasons.

Elsa Marie...amended birth certificates carry some type of coding so that they can go back to the original. The info will come out at some time, so it is a matter of who tells him. Someone who loves him or a stranger who gets the information through some form of government security. No one knows a story better than those who are living through it, but I would suggest, ( for your evaluation) that the family get together and pick a time to tell him...get as many family members involved as are appropriate to the situation...that way he will hear what's said by all the family members and he can believe that they all have his best interest at heart. When he is told it will be a time for the family to demonstrate that there is love, and caring for him.I wish you the best.

I hold a Top Secret Clearance, Speant 5 years Active Duty and Did background checks for the Army. There is absolutely no reason that being adopted will ever come up. There will never be any information disclosed during or after the clearance screening. It is a sealed record. Even if he was in some way able to look, there would be no mention of it. Adoption is a null issue. They will not go back thru medica records prior to the age of 10-14 depending on how old your step son is. You have nothing to worry about.

In Illinois, when I went years ago to get a birth certificate I they had to mail it to me because it was somehow "flagged". Now had I not known I was adopted, I would have investigated it further and found out. Then I would have been horribly disappointed to know that the secret was kept from me. What about instances where there is a big secret and then someone needs a kidney, bone marrow, etc? Do you just go through all that testing knowing there is no hope of a match or what? It's his right to know. I'm not envious of you and I wish you the best.

Dear Elsa Marie, What a tough bind you're in! It's a shame that your hubbie and his relatives are too gutless to stop the lies. May I suggest that you get a copy of one of the adoption books about how to break the news of adoption to a family member, read it and then give it to your husband for discussion? If I were in your shoes, I'd feel absolutely awful that I was being implicated in a collusion of silence and a 'passing the buck' scenario. And I recognise that being a stepparent has its own challenges of boundaries of intervention. However, for the sake of the adopted person, I would still say to my hubbie that if he and his relatives won't break the news to your stepson, then I would. Adoption should be about the best interests of the child/adopted person. Your stepson's needs come first. And since you're all adults - I'd broach the topic as simply one caring adult to another. I'm sure that your stepson will feel angry that he's not hearing it from his father, so perhaps you can also add that for whatever reason, it is a difficult topic for his father to discuss. I know it's ultimately not really your responsibility to tell your stepson - it's your hubbie's. But in the absence of ANYONE having the guts to act in the interests of the child, perhaps you might want to do so. In the end, your stepson will eventually find out anyway - and do you want to be implicated in this paralysis and collusion of silence?

I agree to an extent. It angers me that your husband and the rest of the people originally and directly involved in the adoption have opted to take the route of secrecy- but I don't think its your place.As others have posted it seems that the probability of your stepson finding out in the fashion you are suggesting is very small. Your stepson has a right to know, and I think you should do everything in your power to facilitate your husband and family in telling him the truth. but i think you personally should stay out of it. This secret will run it's course, and it most likely will be found out. In my opinion this is not your battle to fight. Many people are suggesting that your stepson may be very angry with you when/if he finds out that you kept this secret from him as well- but what if he ISN'T happy to know? You'll instantly become the bad guy, whereas if he does find out on his own and is angry that no one ever told him- he will most likely be angriest with his parents- the ones who were SUPPOSED to tell him all his life.Just my 2 cents.

I know somone that this happened to. Granted, he was not legally adopted, he was just handed over to friends without any legel documents. He tried to go into the service and lo and behold thers was no such person as him. Thats when he found out he was "adopted". He eventually cleared it up but he went through hell to clear it up. He wasaslo hurt for therest of his life...he hated his adoptive parents they were neglectful, abusive and alcoholics he ran away at 16. Whyen he found out that he was adopted he found his bparents and they were just as bad as his adoptive parents. SAD.... The b certificate may be ok to join the service, by abrother was in the army years ago and therewas never any trouble....but he could eventually find out.... Poor kid...

Thump your husband on the head for not telling him. Finding out that you were adopted that late in life is bad enough. People finding out that late in life know that their adopted parents have been deceiving them for all of those years. Then imagine the extra level of emotional turmoil that can be created by finding out that their biological parents were complicit in the deception. When, not a matter of if, he finds out he is probably going to be PO'd big time at both his adopted and biological parents. But then again sometimes the most illogical emotions come in to play and it may be no big deal. In this case I'd put my money on the PO'd response. I get frustrated to no end that people do these things to adoptees. Sorry to rant but he should be told. It is the right thing to do.

I want to ammend what I wrote here... First and formost... TELL HIM! He deserves to know, and his Dad should tell him. There is no reason that this should be kept from him. Read the books with your husband, discuss it, and sit down and talk with your son about it. Tell him before he finds out the wrong way and is in the middle of trying to build his own life. You are in the right wanting him to know. Stick with your instict and get the knowledge to him with your husband. I was just commenting above on the process of security clearance background checks.

I don't think my Dad had any trouble when he joined the service, although he did know he was adopted. What was intresting was his bio. sister, didn't know this birthmom had placed a child. When she got a copy of her birth certificate it listed her as the second child (rather then first) of the mother. When we met the family (his birthmom had passed away) she commented on that having made her wonder about the possiblity. So, you never know what will make the truth come out.

In the last couple of years, my step-son has mentioned to me, when his father is not around, how he got very few of his father's genes, specifically that he is not as tall as he is. He is around 5'8 and this last go around asked me if his father was 6' and I told him no that his father is 5'10. (My husband told me that his bio-father is tall and that his son resembles his bio father. In fact, his bio mother and his brother/uncle are short and dark while he is short, fair and blond.) I told my husband of this latest conversation which occurred over the weekend and mentioned that this was not the first time he has mentioned this to me. I told him that the next time it happened, I would ask him why he was saying these things? Did he notice that he looked nothing like his parents or had his friends mentioned the difference? Maybe it is nothing, maybe it is just a way of having a conversation with me, but then again who knows? Most people comment on how people look like their parents, it is something that stands out. I told my husband that if the conversation goes further that I will suggest he talk to his father. I believe he would then tell him the truth in his personal way. What do you think? Is this just idle conversation or is there more to this?

People who carry secrets, shouldn't tell anyone their secret if they don't want their secret blown. I hope you push your husband to tell I hope you insist on it. I'd have to ask my husband what kind of big secrets he's keeping from me for "my" benefit? The idea behind adoption itself, as-if born to, and the changing of a persons birth record and sealing the original from them - supports your husbands' secret stance. So he's not entirely to blame, that is how it is meant to be, that is what is encouraged by current adoption law, secrets.

I just came across something the other day... the first 3 numbers on the B.C. is the state code the next 2 numbers are the year you were born. The rest of the numbers are your "personal" number. From what I saw only good ol Maryland (LOL I cant get a break to save my life) and New York change the numbers. For ex: Md starts with 119 or 154... so mine would have looked like 119-65-xxx my amended is 1965-xxxxx I will try to find the list again and post that too. As for the son.... yeah tell him!

Let me tell you a bit about my story... I enlisted in the Navy back in 89. I had to run around like crazy getting affidavits verifying who I was. Including school records, baptism records and a letter from my god mother. I was approved and went to boot camp. I did not know then I was adopted and I was 23.

It was not until I went to go on vacation long after I was out of the Navy did I apply for a new passport. Which I was denied. They had me get a new birth certificate from my state, the same school records, the same baptism records, a letter from my mother which that letter was the reason for me finding out tha I was adopted. I was 35 years old! The Navy had figured it out, never told me. The woman at the hospital told me that I was adopted and I ignored her knowing full well back in the day that I was not. (What a shock, when I found out many years later she was right.) Even Washington D.C. knew when they had issued my passport for military purposes but denied my civilian passport many years later. I finally did get it approved btw, but it was because my adoptive mother wrote that she was present at my birth. Not had me, gave birth to me, etc. She was PRESENT. That is when I got the, "Honey, sit down we need to talk" speech. sigh

Tell your husband to stop procrastinating and tell his step son. I would feel sorry for the both of you to be hated much like I do my adoptive mother for all of the lies she told me over my 35 years of life and still tries to until I catch her in one of her lies. For heaven's sake do not tell him your families medical history and have him use it as his own!

Errors found on my first issued birth cert... The birth cert is supposed to be signed within 13 months after your birth in Michigan also is a federal law I found out from the passport agency in D.C. I was born in Oct 66 and my cert was denied because it was signed Dec 21, 1967. The new version ironically, is listed as signed 3 days after my birth. This is the one that the passport agency decided to finally accept.

It also said Admin Use Only in bold black letters in the background on it and was completely different then what Michigan uses today. The clerk copied this particular birth cert when I needed it to enlist with. I had no idea all of the documents I needed to prove who I was, had anything to do with me being adopted. I just chalked it up to unnecessary paperwork from the Feds. The one I had prior to that did not look like that one either. I have had three issued to me all completely different looking.

Just my opinion from a late discovery/reunited adoptee.

Starry...always hard to hear a story like yours...finding out late is always sad. Im not sure which is worse, being told the circumstance by a federal agency or someone that has known you all along...in either case, the adoption info should have been yours a long time ago.I guess there are some positives...at least you have been able to be re-united. From here on out you can decide which parts of the families you want to "adopt" to continue contact.I wish you the best.