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Okay, this may sound a bit crazy...but it is what it is. I have been searching for my bson since 10/07. The adoption was through an Indiana agency....now if you don't know the state law....you have to go through and investigator to have them contacted. The investigator then will ask them if they would like any kind of contact with their birthmom. ....okay...this is where it gets a little sticky....I did all of that...he rejected my contact....I have talked with the investigator many times and have found that things seem a little fishy! I had a strong feeling that she just might ruin it for me. She seemed very cold when telling me what they talked about. NOW, here is the twist! I wrote everything down....I have always done it....actually since my son was born....I still have all the paperwork....which includes the envelopes with postmarks...I don't know why but I felt like I needed to keep everything for some reason. Maybe thinking I might not ever find him....okay she said somethings but, when I cross questioned her the next conversation she said something else.......I don't feel content with anything.
I called a search company......I am going to have his information within 9mths......I feel content with doing it but I am already thinking crazy thoughts. Will I just hold on to the information or do I try for another contact. I am so so worried that I can really push him away....but then again.....I don't know if he was really contacted....
Can anyone give me any advice??????
Does anyone know of a good palm reader???..or whatever they are called?????
Just one scared bmom....like so many of you guys out there.....
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I have read the posts and corresponded with a woman I have admired very much for a long time.. she is an adoptee and has been a driving force in Bastard Nation and opening records in various states.. and attempting to stop safe haven (another discussion)
One very important thing this woman says/writes is that these adoption rule makers (some of them) have no right to interfere in someone’s life.. We (some of us) were told to sign pacts of secrecy.. or told that our children would no longer be our children.. and one must never ever mess with this pact.. or agreement..
When I first started to look for my bson.. I wrote about how I was not allowed to do this or not allowed to do that.. and she would write.. “This is all wrong!”.. God bless this woman..
I would write that I had no right to contact my son.. my bson.. and she would write.. “Who told you that!”
In some ways these adoption and secrecy pacts are smoke and mirrors..
She also wrote that she found everything she needed to find about her birthparents and family from a private investigator not someone connected with adoption or reunion… She ended up probably knowing more about her birthfamily then they did..
A strong amazing woman..
Give yourself permission to search and bypass the ones that are playing games is my suggestion..
Is he over the age of consent? If so you are two adults wanting or not wanting to know each other..
Jackie
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