Homestudy Issues

I'm in Spotsy, and wondering if we're just running into some bad social workers or if we need to move out of state to adopt. We were pre-approved for an adoption by an agency in CO and by an orphanage in the Caribbean, that is being held up by what seems like social workers' meanspiritedness. My husband has an 8 yo daughter from a previous relationship, and when we tell SWs that, they want to speak to my SD's mother. I don't feel that this is appropriate, as this woman is not part of our family and will not be part of our child's life. My husband can prove he's never been behind on his support, and as SD's mother is "one of those" who's really bitter about our marriage, and negative about me. She is the type to lie to the SW and say I'm a homewrecker, etc. When we tell SWs that SD's mom isn't supportive of our marriage, and wouldn't be supportive of our having children together, they refuse to do the homestudy. I don't understand why my husband's ex-girlfriend should be allowed to have a say in how we grow our family in other words. Can someone tell me, is this VA state law that my SD's mom has to be interviewed? And if it isn't, can someone PM me the contact info of a SW who isn't from the dark ages? :thanks: