Advertisements
Advertisements
Well I got pregnant when I was 15 years old I can't say that I had an opinion I was just listening to everyone else. I found out I was pregnant at 6 months and it was too late for an abortion I don't know that I would have chosen that way but since it wasn't an option I had to find another way to go.
I won't say that it was easy every person I talk to wanted my baby no one asked they just persumed that I would adopt even my family was fighting over who would get the baby first. The attention was never on me just the baby and its really affected me. I needed advice I needed to be counseled and comforted THIS WAS HAPPENING TO ME NOT THEM.
So I got a job and got married not the best option but that was the path I choose. I was 16 when I dropped out of school and got my GED then went to college at 17 year old but even with a CNA and $15 per hour job I couldn't pay the bills so I joined the ARMY. This is an opinion for young parent and you can do it, but it is not for everyone.
I struggled with my own emotions about my choices and I have long regretted not giving up my child for adoption. (do not get me wrong I love my child to no end and would do anything for her which I made that very clear after long overseas deployment. I did what I had to to put food on the table and clothes on her back.) I have had to struggle and she has had to struggle with me which has caused her pain and mine. I had the support of my family and friends but that doesn't always make it easier even now that I am an adult.
I want to tell you that this is no easy choice their will be pain and suffering on both ends but you must first think of the child and then you can focus on your emotions. If I had known that I could be apart of my childs life and give her up for adoption I probably would have done that. My only regret is for the struggles she has had to endure in order for me to get my life in order.
If you are thinking about adoption it is a great opportunity and if you are planning on parenting the child that is great also but you need to be comfortable with your decision.
Just know that if you are looking for support their is always someone out their you just have to ask for it first.
Like
Share
Thanks for sharing your story. Good luck to you and your daughter. You have shown your daughter your love and devotion, and that will go a long way with the person she becomes. I commend you for your choices.
On your last statement you say there is support you just have to ask for it. I think this is true BUT you have to get true support. Like you said, your family was fighting over who would get the baby first. People can get really weird with the promise of a new baby. You needed their support, but they didn't even see this was not about them, it was about you and your child. Too often, I think it is like that. And it is sad.
Again, best of luck - you'll go far - I can tell.
Like
Share
Advertisements
Thanks for sharing. This really is a great place for support. You are a fighter, and she's really lucky to have you. We all need someone there who will fight for us. Good luck in all that you do.
Hugs, Selina
Like
Share
Why do you think you should have pur her up for adoption, what is her pain and suffering? It sounds like to me you are doing a fine job. Life can be a struggle sometimes and adiotpion may not have been the best thing for your child...you may be the best thing for your child.
Like
Share
Advertisements
My child and I had to endure alot of stuggles for instance seperation, constant moving, homelessness, and hunger to name a few. We are on an upward movement now but it took alot of pain to get here and I often wish she wouldn't have had to endure these struggles, that is the reason I think about if I would have places her for adoption. I don't regret but I wonder about the person she would have been without that pain and stuggle because it does have its effects for instance she will still hide food just in case she ever needs it. This really hurts to see because I remember being hungry also but their is not alot I can do to help her so I allow it.
Like
Share
I don't regret but I wonder about the person she would have been without that pain and stuggle because it does have its effects for instance she will still hide food just in case she ever needs it. This really hurts to see because I remember being hungry also but their is not alot I can do to help her so I allow it.
Have you considered seeking counseling for you and your daughter? It seems as though you are both doing fairly well, but perhaps it would be helpful for YOU to continue to talk about how you're feeling...and maybe a counselor/therapist could help you communicate with your daughter in an attempt to reassure her and provide her with additional emotional support. It seems as though she is also under a lot of stress - between your financial struggles [which ultimately trickle down to your children] and long separations due to your deployment, I think that counseling could be helpful in regards to strengthening your relationship with your daughter & finding ways to help her feel secure.
I am so glad that you shared your story - as an adoptee, I appreciate what you had to say and I commend you for parenting your child.
Like
Share
I understand, thanks for your post. There are a lot of people who do not understand how I could have chosen adoption after already having one child. The reason why I chose adoption for my birth daughter is because I could not see another child being hurt the way my son was. My family did not hurt him but I did. There were times when he was growing up that he asked why I did not place him. It hurt but he knew she was being cared for financially and emotionally and he was not. He refuses to talk about those years but some of the decisions he makes now show me that he has not forgotten. It seems sometimes to be a double edged sword as a mother and a birth mother.
Like
Share