Looking for More Info on Older Child/Sibling Group Adoption

Our son was 22 months when we got him. I don't mean to sound overly optimistic, but he really never had any issues. He called me Mam when he saw me and was pretty clingy to me for the first week, but he has never really shown anything that we read about in the books. I feel very grateful for this and feel many prayers in his behalf were answered. One thing we did do, however, was to limit his contact with outsiders. No one fed him, but us. No one bathed him, but us. We had no babysitters or visits from people to our home for several months. In fact his first babysitter was someone he knew well and that was at 8 months.

How old are you thinking? I can speak of our experiences, adopting a 12-year-old. I also have several friends who have adopted older - children age 8 and up. There is much to say about older child adoption, and preparation, in my opinion, is key. I feel it is vital to also be aware of and anticipate and expect nearly every worse case scenario. I don't mean that to sound like the voice of doom and gloom, but that way nothing surprises you and you are prepared for the intense committment and energy that may be involved. With an older child they will already have many behaviors and ideas engrained. They likewise may have many misconceptions about home life and family. You need to be prepared to be creative in everything from how you communicate to handle discpline, to taking your cues from them with regard to affection, etc. You will build these relationships very differently. You will deal with matters of trust. Attaching may very well be slow. You should learn about RAD and know the signs for that. There will be problems. It is difficult to say to what extent. Some will be difficult to resolve, some will be easy, and others may take time - meaning years. As you can see though, I'm speaking of children that are older, and this certainly will vary depending upon the age of the children. Hope that helps some.